Dalton Academy, Private School for Girls
by sierramc89
Summary: So here I was being pulled out of the public school I'd been attending and enrolled in boarding school. My mother just died and on top of that I'm trying to come to terms with being a lesbian. Brittany POV. Brittana. Other ships. R&R
1. Arrival

**Just an idea that came to me the other day; loving writing it so far and can't wait to write more. Hope you enjoy!**

I leaned my head against the side of the car and stared out the window and watched as all the trees zoomed by. My step father sat beside me looking at his phone and muttering to himself.

I sighed and checked the time on my phone. We were only ten minutes away from the school.

My mother had died right before the beginning of summer. I was left with my step dad and for a man of business he wasn't exactly good at the whole dad thing.

So he pulled me out of the public school I'd been attending and enrolled me at Dalton Academy, Private School for Girls.

It was a boarding school not too far away from where we lived but my step dad, who really wasn't all that bad of a guy, he just had his priorities. While he would never abandon me, he loved my mother too much, he couldn't be the dad that I needed.

So here I was being taken away from the few friends I had and being sent away to school.

It was hard trying not to allow myself to think about how much I wished that I could just wake up and all this would have been a terrible dream and I could just go downstairs and snuggle up with my mom under a blanket on the couch.

But it had been real, and now here I was.

The entrance to the school was guarded by a big iron gate. After a moment or two the gate sung open and we pulled up to the door.

There was a woman waiting outside with a big smile on her face, her shoulder length red hair bounced up and down as she ran towards the car waiting to greet us.

I waited as our driver walked around the car to open my door. Taking another deep breath and putting on a fake smile I stepped out of the car.

"Hello you must be Brittany Pierce, and Mr. Pierce hello.." she said as he walked up pausing to shake his hand.

"Hello" I answered trying to sound polite and my step dad just nodded.

"My name is Miss Pillsbury. I'm the guidance teacher here at Dalton. Would you like to see where you'll be living from now on?" she asked her voice just radiating happiness. "And of course Mr. Pierce you may come along as well."

He shook his head slightly, "No, I must be going I have to get to work." He looked towards me and smiled a little. "Here..." he said reaching into his pocket and pulling out a shiny plastic card.

"Use it for anything you need, don't worry about the money." He handed it to me and then placed his hand on my shoulder.

"Call me if you need anything." At least he was making a little effort. He cast one more glance toward the woman, climbed back in the car, and he was gone.

I looked down at my luggage piled up in the road. My step dad's drivers were always different; I never bothered to learn their names, no point. I threw the smaller bags over my shoulder and grabbed the handle of the bigger suitcase, the one that held most of my things, and pulled it behind me as I followed the woman up the stairs.

We entered the door and I looked around at the big entry way. It had wooden floors and a big chandelier hanging from the ceiling. There was a big wooden staircase in front of me leading to the upper levels of the school.

"Now down each of these halls are the classrooms." She said pointing to my left and then to my right. "Up the stairs are where most of the bedrooms are."

She waved for me to follow. "Everyone shares a room with one other girl, classes are going on at the moment so you will meet her later, but I will take you up to your room right now so you can put down your things before I show you the rest of the school."

We walked up the staircase and down the right hall making one turn to the left and down a couple doors until she finally stopped. She pulled something shiny out of her pocket and handed it to me.

"That's your room key" she said. I looked down at the single silver key that was hanging from a Dalton Academy crest key chain. "Go ahead!" She smiled motioning toward the door.

I stepped forward and slipped the key into the lock and walked in.

There was a big window on the back wall and even from where I stood I could see there was a small courtyard below with a rather large bell sitting underneath a small overhang.

The two twin beds were placed on opposite sides of the room. One side was decorated nicely, her deep red comfortable matched the red of the school's colors. To the wall on my left was a desk filled with papers and books and a small table lamp. I looked to the right; the set up was identical except the comfortable on the other bed was a dark royal blue.

I walked over to the empty side and threw my heavy bags on the bed sitting down for a moment beside them.

Miss Pillsbury walked over to the closet beside my desk and opened the door. "All students are required to wear uniforms." She pointed to the rack of blue and red color clothing. "There are quite a few things to choose from and you can mix and match. Any clothes you brought from home can be worn on the weekends."

"Class begins at 8am and there will always be breakfast available to you from 7am to 7:45am. Lunch is at noon and dinner at 7. There are a few other extracurricular activities that you can choose from if you don't like the ones you were assigned to. Here is a packet that will list all available courses and clubs we offer here at Dalton." She handed me the packet her smile still never having left her face.

"Thanks"

"And of course everything I'm telling you is in the packet and the full schedule will be on the back of your class list. Which reminds me, the headmaster is waiting to meet me you, he will give you your schedule."

She turned around and headed to the door.

As we walked down the hallway and down the stairs she told me more about the school. "Right out there you can see the soccer field." She pointed out the window.

We got to the top of the stairs and she pointed to a door below the stairwell. "Behind that door is the kitchen and there" she pointed down the hall off to the right "down and around that hall is where the dining hall is. But we are going this way." She guided me off to the left.

"The door at the very end of this hall is the headmaster's office. He's expecting us,"

We stopped in front of the door and I waited as she reached out and knocked quietly.

"Come in." A very loud masculine voice echoed out from behind the door.

Miss Pillsbury reached out opened the door pushing me in ahead of her.

"Headmaster" she said nodding him a greeting. "This is Brittany Pierce, our new student."

"Hello Miss Pierce" he said reaching out and shaking my hand. His grip was firm and powerful and he had a presence about him that simply demanded respect. He was tall with a light brown skin and short dark black hair. He had broad shoulders and his eyes were hard and a deep dark brown.

"Hello Sir." I said talking the seat he offered me. Miss Pillsbury continued to stand near the door.

"I am happy to welcome you to our school Miss Pierce. Dalton Academy is one of the oldest school in this region and, I'm sure you've heard of the Dalton Academy for Boys which is not too far from here."

"Yes I have Sir"

"Great. We have very strict rules here at Dalton, we do not allow any drugs or underage drinking on the property, and we expect you to be on time to all your lessons. Here is your class schedule."

He pushed the paper across the desk to me. I picked it up looking at it briefly and put it in my pocket.

"I trust Miss Pillsbury had informed you about our dress code," he waited for my nod and then continued. "Well, then that's all. I hope you enjoy your time here at Dalton."

He stood up shaking my hand again, "Have a good day."

I walked out the door with Miss Pillsbury and I swear I saw her physically relax the moment we were outside and away from the headmasters piercing gaze.

"Classes will be ending soon and then you have a bit of free time before dinner starts at 7. I'll take you back up to your room so you can unpack a bit before dinner."

She remained quiet the rest of the walk to my room. Right before she left me alone to settle in she said, "Don't forget to change into your uniform before dinner." Then with one more smile she backed out the door and was gone.

I went over to my bags and pulled out some of my things, like my alarm clock and my favorite blanket laying it at the foot of my bed.

I decided I'd put the rest of my things away later and went to the closet flipping through the provided clothes.

They were a few cardigans; two of each color, blue and red. There was a pair of black dress pants, and few plaid skirts. There was a hanger holding a tie with blue and red stripes and then one solid blue and red one. The white button up shirts all looked the same and I noticed a couple pair of black flats on the floor of the closet.

I pulled out a white shirt and a blue cardigan. I removed the shirt I had been wearing and put on the white shirt, buttoning up the blue sweater over it. The cardigan had a Dalton Academy crest over the left side right over my heart.

I was about to pull off my jeans when someone burst through the door, two someone's actually.

I looked up at the two girls entering the room. One was a shinny blonde haired girl; she had an angelic looking face and was one of the most naturally beautiful looking girls I have ever seen, doll like with her creamy white skin and smooth features.

The other was a little shorter with dark long hair that fell down her back in wavy curls. Her skin was darker, like she had the most perfect tan; her body was a little curvy and as she walked the red plaid skirt she was wearing exposed her amazingly toned legs.

It was almost impossible to keep my jaw from falling slack as I watched this girl enter the room and finally notice me standing there like a fool half dressed.

"Oh hello," I head the beautiful brunette say. "You must be my new roommate."

"Yeah, Hi, I'm Brittany." I said luckily my voice sounded normal.

"I'm Santana and this is Quinn." The blonde girl stepped forward and shook my hand.

"Hi" she smiled sweetly. "Well San, I've gotta go meet Mercedes, I'll see you at dinner." She hugged Santana and with one more smile to me she left.

"So Brittany huh.." She said walking over and placing her book bag on her bed.

"Yeah, Brittany S. Pierce"

"It's nice to meet you." She said nicely walking closer to me. "Do you need any help with the uniform?" She laughed a little looking at my half put together outfit.

"Yes thank you"

She walked over to the closet looking through the clothes. "The biggest thing is you must always have the schools crest visible. If you wear one of the skirts you must also wear the stockings." She said pointing to the semi see-through black ones she was wearing. "They give everyone a school jacket, kind of like a letterman's jacket, only more formal." She pointed to two jackets, I hadn't noticed before, hanging on the hook on the door.

"You want to finish changing and I'll show you where the bathroom is?"

"Yeah, thanks" I walked over to the closet noticing that the door was big enough that you could use it to shield yourself as you changed.

I pulled one of the blue checkered shirts off the hanger and pushed off my jeans pulling up the skirt. I found some white stockings and put them on underneath, slipping on the black flats.

"Good?" I asked stepping out so she could see.

"Perfect! Now the bathrooms…" She let me out the door and farther down the hall to two door less rooms at the end of the corridor. "Theses bathroom's are for everyone in this hall. That room has the showers and some big mirrors for makeup and stuff like that, and that one has the toilets and sinks." I nodded showing that I understood.

"It's pretty basic I think you'll adjust pretty quickly."

I followed her back to our room; I'd heard the horror stories of people getting terrible roommates and was more than ecstatic to learn that mine was not one of them. I was also happy because she was absolutely stunning.

"So what is your schedule like?" She asked closing the door behind us and sitting in her desk chair.

"Oh I hadn't really had a chance to look yet." I pulled the piece of paper that the headmaster had given me and read the titles aloud.

"Looks like I've got History, English, French, and then Study Hall, Math, and Gym."

"That's great you have 3rd hour French with Quinn, that blonde girl you met earlier, she's nice you'll see her again at dinner. I've got Study hall right after lunch too so we'll have that class together."

"Sounds good!"

I was feeling better about this school with every minute that passed. The situation that brought me here truly sucked but hopefully this would work out alright. I had a great roommate and she was going to introduce me to her friends, so hopefully making friends at this school wasn't going to be as hard as I'd originally imagined.

The headmaster was undoubtedly strict but hopefully as long as I stayed on his good side and kept out of trouble our interactions would be short and pleasant.

All of a sudden I heard a load ringing noise and saw the large bell, right outside our bedroom window, vibrating with sound.

"Dinner!" Santana said with a smile.

**That's the end of this chapter! I hope you enjoyed it! I just finished Who Is That Girl? And wanted to write more and this idea came to me yesterday. **

**I hope you all enjoyed it! I will have the next chapter out soon!**

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**There's a lot more to come! ;)**

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	2. First Meal

**Here's the second chapter! Hope it pleases.**

I followed her down to the dining hall. Hanging from the ceiling were multiple chandeliers, they were a bit smaller than the one in the entry way, and they gave the whole place a nice glow.

There were two rows of wooden tables where groups of girls sat together talking.

Santana led me over to the lunch line and we stood at the back waiting for our turn. She didn't say much as we stood there and I wondered what her story was. Why had she come here, to this school? I don't think I even knew her last name.

"What's your last name?" I asked blurting out the question before I realized that it may be kind of an odd question to bring up just out of the blue.

As I expected she gave me a weird look but answered anyway. "Lopez…Santana Lopez."

I laughed feeling embarrassed. "Sorry for the random question I just realized I didn't know it; and you are my roommate so I figured we should probably get to know each other."

"Good point" She said following my lead. "So what brought you to Dalton?"

I knew I'd have to talk about this eventually but bringing up my mother's death, not only depressed me, but I realized that it was a huge mood killer. Plus I hated that look people get when they find out, like they feel bad for you.

"My dad works a lot, so he figured that sending me here would be a good thing." For him, I added mentally. "You know so I wouldn't be alone all the time." I decided a little white lie wouldn't hurt. I'd tell her the whole story eventually, when I was ready.

"Absentee parents huh…sound good to me. I feel like I can never escape mine."

"Yeah" I said. But what I really wanted to say was, 'I wish my problem was that my mother was around too much' But I knew that she hadn't meant anything by what she said, she didn't know.

After paying for our dinner Santana told me to follow her as we walked down between the tables. I looked around at the girls wondering which group could possibly, maybe, become my own when Santana stopped setting her plate down in front of three girls.

I recognized Quinn immediately and she smiled at me when I looked at her. The other two were completely unfamiliar.

"Everyone this is my new roommate Brittany." She said as we sat down. "Brittany this is Rachel…" she pointed to the girl sitting beside Quinn. Rachel had long straight brown hair, which was almost as long as Santana's, and rich brown eyes. "And this is Tina, Rachel's roommate." She said motioning to the long black haired Asian girl sitting beside Rachel.

"Hi!" They both said almost in unison.

"And of course you already met Quinn this afternoon."

I said Hello to them all and picked up a couple grapes from my plate plopping them in my mouth.

"Where's Mercedes?" Santana asked Quinn.

"She'll be here soon; she had a phone call from Sam."

"Ohhh I see" she laughed turning to me.

"Sam is Mercedes boyfriend. He goes to Dalton's all boys' school right across town. So does Tina's boyfriend, Mike."

Tina smiled at me through her mouthful of food happily.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" Tina asked swallowing down her food.

"No. I mean over the years I liked a couple people but it never really worked out." I failed to mention that it was because they were all my 'straight' girl friends and they had no idea I was ever even interested.

Just then a girl ran up to the table clutching her phone to her chest and sat down next to Santana. "Hey everyone! Sorry I'm late, had a call." I guess this was Mercedes. She was curvy with dark hair, dark skin, and shoulder length hair.

"Yeah we know it was from Sammm" Santana teased and the others all laughed.

"Oh whatever, please! I am not even half as bad as them." She said pointing across the table and I was immediately confused.

Then I noticed Rachel's arm slip underneath and around Quinn's and knew that if I looked underneath the table I would see their hands linked together. So they were a couple. Huh, I never would have guessed that…

I instantly felt drawn to them. I had known for a few years now that my preference, when it came to who I was interested in sexually, was women; however, I still wasn't too comfortable sharing. I was thrilled and even a little scared that maybe I would find someone at this school I could finally confide in.

Quinn must have known I'd be confused because she looked to me immediately "Rachel and I are together." She said and the joy in her voice was impossible to miss as she said the words. Rachel smiled and kissed Quinn's check.

I wanted that.

"Who is this?" Mercedes asked finally noticing me sitting on the other side of Santana.

"This is Santana's new roommate Brittany." Rachel said.

"Finally got a roommate huh? I thought you'd have the room to yourself forever!" Mercedes said waving a nice hello to me.

"Guess not" Santana sighed unhappily. Then she smiled and gave me a wink letting me know she was kidding. "Quinn you have 3rd hour French right?"

"Yeah why?"

"Brittany was signed up for that class too"

"Oh that's great!" Quinn said and I was actually starting to feel like maybe this would all be okay. "Mrs. Yang is our French teacher. She's this little Chinese woman but she is pretty nice and doesn't give a lot of homework."

"What other classes do you have?" Tina asked.

I pulled out the paper with my class schedule on it and unfolded it pushing out the creases so it would lie flat. "I have History, English, French, Study Hall, Math, and Gym"

"History 1st hour?" Rachel asked trying to get a better look at the paper.

"Uhh ya…"

"You've got that class with me!"

"Cool!" I said happily.

We ate the rest of our meal and I listened to them talk about their day. They all seemed really nice and I was happy that I had been lucky enough to be placed as Santana's roommate.

When dinner ended I followed them all out of the dining hall. "Well I have a lot of homework to do so I'll see you all tomorrow." Mercedes said looking to Quinn, "You coming back up to the room?"

"No I'm going to the library with Rachel but I'll see you later."

Mercedes nodded and said, "Nice meeting you Brittany." Then she was gone.

Rachel leaned forward hugging Santana and then surprisingly, me as well, and said goodnight to us both. "We'll see you at breakfast!"

Quinn hugged Santana and waved to me walking away still holding on to Rachel's hand.

I couldn't take my eyes from them.

At my school seeing two girls holding hands almost never happened. I know staring was impolite and there should be nothing different about them holding hands, they were like any other couple, but it was.

I saw everything I wanted and everything I was afraid to ask for in them.

I finally turned away and noticed Santana waiting for me a few feet away.

I slowly ran to her side, hoping she hadn't noticed my staring, and we walked back up to our room.

I flung myself on the bed immediately already exhausted.

I heard Santana laugh and I lifted my head to look at her.

"Tired?" she asked from where she was seated at her desk.

"Yes! Aren't you?"

"Yeah, but I have a little bit more homework to do before I can go to sleep. Will the light bother you?"

"No it's okay." And it was. Light didn't bother me, I was a heavy sleeper. Even so it was nice of her to ask, after all I'd been the one to come in and take half of her room from her.

I got off the bed and reached into my still mostly unpacked bags pulling out a pair of shorts and a tank top. I changed quickly dumping the skirt I'd been wearing, as well as the rest of the clothes, onto the floor by the closet.

I crawled into the bed and shivered slightly at the cold sheets.

Before I could close my eyes Santana spoke, "I saw you staring at Quinn and Rachel…" my eyes moved to her immediately noticing her serious tone. It wasn't a question just a statement and I worried that maybe she had figured out my secret.

When I didn't speak she continued, "You can believe in whatever you like but those girls are happy and I won't allow anyone to hurt them."

It dawned on me that she thought my staring had been because I disapproved. "Oh no!" I said startling her a bit. "I have no problem with it, it's just that well…" I wanted to make it clear that I wasn't homophobic without telling her I was a lesbian. I still wasn't ready.

"It's not something that was so openly accepted at my previous school and it surprised me. That's all. But trust me I am not homophobic or anything, far from it, I was just surprised."

I saw her relax and then smile. "Good" she turned back to her work not looking over at me again.

I liked that she was so protective of the people she cared about. It let me know that she was a friend worth having.

I pulled the covers up around my shoulders and closed my eyes.

I was out in seconds.

**What you all think!**

**You guys like the little Faberry I threw in there! I love them as a couple**

**Anyway thanks to all who read and reviewed! You guys rock!**

Gleekelle** thanks for reading Who is the girl and Im glad you liked my stuff enough to try out my new story! Keep reading! You are awesome!**

**Remember review! It helps me get better and keeps me motivated! Love you all!**

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	3. What's a Glee Club?

**So I felt inspired to write another chapter tonight and I hope you guys like it!**

I woke up to someone shaking me awake.

"Brittany!... Brittany!" I heard her huff in frustration. "Brittany you have to get up and get ready for school."

I opened my eyes looking up at Santana. "Sorry I'm a heavy sleeper." I apologized and flipped the comforter off me placing my feet firmly on the cold ground.

"Ya I noticed" she laughed walking over to her closet; rubbing a towel over her wet hair. "You slept through both alarms."

"What time is it?" I asked rubbing my eyes and looking out the window; it wasn't very light out.

"Its 6:30, we need to be down for breakfast by at least 7:15 if we want enough time to eat."

"Alright"

"And Brittany,"

"Huh?" I asked as I looked up at her.

"I get cranky when I don't eat." A smile was firmly planted on her lips and her tone was playful.

I smiled and jokingly leapt up dramatically searching for a towel and went rushing out the door. "I'll hurry then." I teased and I heard her laugh as I walked down the hall.

Santana and I made it down to breakfast in time. It didn't take us long to get our food and we were now headed over to where Quinn and Rachel sat huddled together at a table.

"Hi you two" Santana greeted them as we sat down.

"Hey guys!" Rachel said with almost too much perkiness for this time of morning.

"Hi Rachel, hasn't anyone told you're your too perky in the morning" Santana said taking a bite of the apple from her tray.

"Yeah, you…pretty much every day." They'd obviously had this conversation before.

"Morning Brittany" Quinn said ignoring the two girls bickering.

Quinn was sitting beside Rachel nursing a cup of coffee and looking tired. "Good morning Quinn, you look tired."

Quinn smiled sleepily. "I'm not really a morning person. But after about two more cups of this I'll be fine." She said nodding to her cup taking another sip.

"Where's Mercedes and Tina?" I asked looking around to see if maybe I'd missed them.

"Oh they're still asleep" Quinn said looking a bit jealous. "They don't have girlfriends that drag them out of bed in the morning and force food down their throats." She looked at Rachel and smiled as she plopped a bit of muffin in her mouth.

"Well someone's got to make sure you're properly fed. You'd live on coffee if you could." I watched their cute bantering and found myself feeling jealous.

"So, Brittany, you nervous for your first day?" Rachel asked.

"A little" I confessed taking a bite of my cereal.

"Don't be, it'll be fine." Santana said from beside me.

I smiled hopefully and continued to eat my cereal as they went on talking about some homework assignment.

Even though I had only started a month late there was still a lot I had missed. I hoped that with some help from my new friends it wouldn't be too hard to catch up.

"Come on Brittany it's time for History." Rachel said as she walked to the entrance of the dining hall with Quinn.

Santana and I threw away our uneaten food and walked toward Rachel and Quinn, "I'll see you at lunch. Have fun" she said then she was out the door and off to class.

I stopped in front of Rachel waiting for her, "See you at lunch" Rachel said kissing Quinn, this time on the lips, and the jealously roared up again. It wasn't that I wanted to be with Quinn, or with Rachel, I was just jealous of how comfortable they were with themselves.

"Come on we better get to class." Rachel said grabbing my arm and pulling me behind her.

History had been easier than I'd expected. I'd already known most of what I'd missed and the teacher said all I had to do was take a quiz to make sure I knew the material already covered and I'd be caught up.

Rachel was nice enough to show me to my next class and as we walked up the hall I decided to ask her something I'd been wondering about.

"Rachel, can I ask you something?"

She looked at me curiously. "Of course, anything."

"How did you and Quinn meet?" Her expression clearly told me that hadn't been what she thought I was going to ask.

"Ummm well," she paused.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want. I know we only just met…I was just curious."

"No its okay…I don't mind. Well she and I started school here when we were freshmen. You should have seen us back then, couldn't be in the same room with each other without going at each other's throats." She laughed remembering.

"You hated each other?" I asked curious how two people who hated each other turned into the nice cute couple I saw today.

"Well you know that old saying opposites attract?" I nodded. "Well as silly as it sounds it's actually true. When we met we were so different but also very alike. We both wanted to make something out of ourselves, we both wanted to be the best."

"So how did you guys get together?"

"We are both a part of a club here at Dalton, The Warblettes, I know the name is kind of lame but it's amazing. I was actually going to talk to you about joining but you seemed so overwhelmed yesterday I didn't want push anything else on you."

"What's is that?"

"It's a Glee club. Did you have one of those at your old school?"

"No" I had absolutely no idea what she was talking about.

"Well Tina, Mercedes, Quinn, Santana and I are all a part of it. You should come to the meeting after school today."

"What's a Glee club?" I asked again.

"Come to the meeting and you'll see." She smiled then continued.

"But anyway back to your question, it was actually because of Mercedes." my look of confusion made her continue. "She called us on our crap." She stated simply.

"It took me a while to figure out what I had been feeling about Quinn but when I did I thought there was no way it'd ever happen. I mean you've seen Quinn. She's gorgeous and talented; I never thought I had a shot."

"That must have sucked" I said knowing the feeling.

"Yeah, but one day Mercedes sat Quinn and I down and told us that we weren't fooling anyone. That she was sick of us pretending we didn't have feelings for each other and that we better get over our fears and deal with it. Then she left!"

"She left?"

"She left! She left me there, sitting with Quinn, and I had no idea what to say. I remember looking at her and the moment I saw the same fear I had in me mirrored on her face I crumbled. I confessed everything, all I was feeling, and she miraculously felt the same way."

"Wow" I was awed at her courage. I didn't know if given the same chance I could be so brave.

"Yeah" she said and I could tell she was somewhere else; lost in her memories.

We head the bell ring and Rachel jumped looking toward the clock. "Here's your classroom, I gotta go but I'll see you at lunch." She said smiling and then ran off.

I choose an empty desk and sat quietly as the class breezed by. I couldn't stop thinking about Rachel and Quinn. If they could find happiness why couldn't I?

I wasn't sure if I was in the right emotional state, even I knew that starting a relationship soon after a death of someone close to you probably wasn't the best idea. Not like I had any prospects anyway.

I took a minute to look around the room at all the girls wondering if any of them would appeal to me.

There were definitely some very pretty girls at this school but none of them made my heart flutter so I abandoned the effort; Probably for the best anyway.

The bell came sooner than expected and I was out the door quickly reaching into my bag to find my schedule for the room number of my next class.

As I was walking down the hall, my eyes glued to the numbers above the classrooms, I heard a familiar voice call out my name.

"Brittany!" I recognized the high pitched perky voice right away and turned to see Miss Pillsbury waving at me from inside one of the rooms.

I walked over and into what looked like her office, I remember her saying she was the guidance councilor. "Hi Miss Pillsbury"

"How is your first day going?" she asked still smiling and ushered me into an open seat.

"Uh it's going good so far."

"You getting along with your roommate nicely? If not I'm sure we could find you another room."

"No she's great! We are getting along really well." I assured her and she smiled. "But I'm going to be late for French so I better go; that is if I can find it anyway."

"Oh here I'll show you!" she popped up excitedly.

"A-Alight" I stuttered out with no choice but to follow the bouncing red head.

She walked me to the same hall we had been down on my visit to the headmaster on the first day. I could see his door at the end of the hall and was glad I wasn't on my way to see him.

"Here you are!" She said stopping in front of a classroom.

"Thanks Miss Pillsbury."

"No problem dear, oh and remember you can come and see me any time you like."

I told her I would and then watched her walk back down the hallway and away from me.

**So I didn't give you much time to review but thanks to those who did already lol**

Ms Rosalie Hale **I'm glad you like what I've written so far and I'm happy to hear from you again! Still love the name! :)**

Poloplayer** I'm happy you're pleased! And I hope you like this chapter as well! **

**Thanks for all you guys who read my chapters! Keep reviewing I love hearing from you!**


	4. Absolutely

**I have been in a slump with writing lately. It took me forever to figure out what I wanted for this story and I'm sorry to all those who waited so long but I hope you enjoy this!**

**The song is Dance With Me Tonight by Olly Murs**

Lunch had just ended and I walked next to Santana down the halls toward the library for study hall.

"How has your day been going so far?"

"Not bad, I have some work to do so I can catch up but I don't think it will be too hard."

"And if you need any help you can always ask me." I smiled and said thanks I would definitely be taking her up on that.

"So I have to ask...what is a glee club?" I hadn't been able to get Quinn to tell me in French and I had been so hungry at lunch that it had completely slipped my mind.

"You're not getting it out of me sorry, I am sworn to secrecy."

I hadn't expected her to tell me, Quinn had warned that Rachel would make sure no one said a word but it didn't hurt to ask. So I just said, "I give up." and left it at that.

As we walked up to the library doors Santana's cell went off in her pocket. She reached inside quickly pulling out the phone and pressed it to her ear.

"Hello Mama" she said into the phone and I could hear the Spanish accent in her voice thicken as she spoke the two words. She covered the microphone with her hand and looked over at me, "Just go inside I'll be there in a minute."

Not wanting to intrude of family matters I nodded and walked into the library.

The library was very old fashioned looking, there were rows of tables in the middle of the room and study carols that lined the walls, most of which were full. I took a seat at one of the empty tables started to unpack my things.

There was a table full of girls a couple rows in front of me talking quietly to each other; I noticed one of the girls was in my history class with Rachel. I thought idly about maybe one day striking up a conversation with her; get to know some more people, when Santana appeared.

She dropped her things loudly on the floor and threw herself into the chair next to me.

"Is everything okay?" I asked noticing her obvious change in mood.

"Yeah," she sighed "my mom was just telling me that my dad wants to have a talk with me." The tone in her voice told me that whatever he wanted to talk about she definitely wasn't looking forward to it.

"Rough, well if you ever wanna talk about it I'm available." I hadn't known this girl very long, but I already found myself worrying about the troubles she was hiding behind those careful and reserved eyes.

"Thanks" she said quietly turning her attention toward her work and ending our conversation.

We spent pretty much all of study hall in silence. I was trying to memorize all these verbs for French class and Santana was writing out what looked to be a very long essay.

As much as I tried to focus on my work I couldn't seem to keep my mind from wandering.

As I stared down at the flash card in my hand, and wondered what could have made Santana's mood drop so drastically. I thought about how much I wanted to be in love, like Quinn and Rachel. I remembered how a year ago I hadn't even been able to admit to myself what I'd wanted.

I had been so scared about what being gay would mean that I wouldn't even allow myself to think about it. When I started liking a girl I would pretend it was just because I admired her, that I just wanted to be like her. But that wasn't true.

I don't know how but my mother was the only person who saw it.

I thought back to a conversation I'd had with her not long before she died.

"_Brittany, sweetie, can come here please I want to talk to you."_

_I was sitting across the room curled up on the couch reading a book when she spoke to me. I looked up and saw the serious expression on her face, immediately putting down my book, and walked over to her._

_She had been so weak lately that she wasn't able to climb the steep stair to her bedroom so we had set up a day bed for her in the living room. _

_She patted the empty space beside her and I jumped up on the bed and scooted close to her. She put her arm around me, rubbing my shoulder._

"_Now I need you to listen really carefully to me," _

_I pulled away quickly, instantly worried and looked into her eyes, "What is it? What's wrong?" _

_She held up her hand to silence me and she continued. "This is a conversation I wanted to have with you when I was better; but, I think we both know that I'm only getting worse."_

_I stared in silence and listened to her speak and with each sentence my stomach twisted in knots._

"_I'm not always going to be here and I need you to know this before I'm no longer here to remind you of it."_

_I felt like I was going to be sick; tears were already streaming down my face. I hadn't let myself deal with the possibility of her dying and to have it laid out in front of me was too much for me to take. _

_I covered my face with my hands, shut my eyes, and prayed that the day my mom spoke of would never come._

"_Please please listen to me." She begged pulling my hands from my face._

"_Baby, I know."_

_That was not what I had been expecting her to say. Know what?_

"_You know what?" I asked still confused._

_Instead of answering me she just gave me that look, the look that mothers always give to their children, and I knew she knew._

_I burst into tears, no longer able to hold them back anymore, and threw myself into her arms. She hugged me and whispered that everything was going to be okay. _

_She waited till I had calmed down a little and pushed me back so she could look into my face. "Brittany, I want you to know that I love you no matter who you love and I want you to know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with how you feel. It's going to be a hard road but I know that you can take anything that comes at you. You're so strong, stronger than me, and I want you never to forget that."_

_As I stared at my mother through tear filled eyes and promised myself I would never forget her words. _

The high pitched ringing of the bell brought me out of my memory and back to the library. I looked down pushing my books into my backpack trying to hide the tears that had formed in my eyes.

"So just meet me by the stairs in the entry way after classes, I'll take you to the Glee Club meeting." Santana said and I could hear the rusting of papers as she too packed away her things.

"Okay" I said and even I heard the sadness in my voice.

"Are you okay?"

I paused and looked up, seeing the worry in her eyes as she saw my face. "Yeah I'm okay."

"Really, because it doesn't look like it."

"It's really just something I need to deal with on my own right now."

Her face changed and I saw that she understood.

"I'll see you after class." The smile she gave me as she left told me she would be there if I ever needed her to be.

I appreciated that more than she knew.

The rest of the day blew by and was over before I knew it. The rest of my classes had been a nice distraction from my earlier thoughts and I found that when the end of the day came I felt much better; even excited.

I waited by the stairs in the entry, just like Santana said, and it wasn't long before I saw her running up to me.

"Come on lets go we're already late." She yelled grabbing my arm and pulling me along with her. She led me to a room near the dining hall; there were couches, a couple tables scattered around the room, and books lining the walls. I saw my five friends standing near the front of a medium sized group of girls. Some I recognized from today's classes and some I did not; however, all had smiles on their faces as I walked in.

Santana pushed me over toward one of the couches and then ran over to the others taking her place behind Mercedes, who was standing near Quinn and Rachel, at the front of the group.

Rachel stepped forward to address me, "So I know you've been wondering what a Glee Club is and well its easier for us to show you rather than tell you" She gave me a quick excited smile and stepped back into line.

Almost immediately after Rachel rejoined the group an unknown voice near the back started counting "One, Two, Three"

There was a girl sitting at a drum off to side and on three she starting hitting the drum in a consistent beat.

All the girls in front of me started clapping and Mercedes stepped forward,

_Ladies and Gentlemen, we've got a special treat for you tonight  
>I'm gonna call my friend Rachel up here to sing to you ladies<br>Rachel! let's go girl_

Rachel stepped forward still clapping her hands and walked toward me as she sang the verse.

_My name is Rachel nice to meet you can I tell you baby  
>Look around there's a whole lot of pretty ladies<br>But none like you, you shine so bright, yeah_

Rachel turned around and walked back toward the group of girls reaching out and taking Quinn's hand pulling her out of the group and sang the next verse to her.

I was wondering if you and me could spend a minute  
>On the floor up and close getting lost in it<br>I won't give up without a fight

I saw her wink at Quinn whose cheeks flushed pink but she smiled sweetly at Rachel before going back into the group of girls. As the song went into the chorus they all walked toward me and surrounded the couch I was sitting on, dancing around it as they sang,

_I just wanna, ohhhoo ohhhh baby  
>I just want you to dance with me tonight<br>So come on, ohhhhoo, ohhh baby  
>I just want you to dance with me tonight<em>

I had always wanted to be a dancer, I'd taken jazz as a kid and have loved doing it ever since. I never thought seriously about singing but my voice wasn't terrible. Mercedes sang the next part and I was in awe of how good all of their voices were.

_We're getting sweaty, hot and heavy in the crowd now  
>Loosen up and let you hands go down, down<br>Go with it girl, yeah just close your eyes, yeah_

They stopped rotating around me and Santana was now standing in front of me. She grabbed my hand pulling me up and into the middle of the group and they circled around us and she sang the next verse.

_I feel the music moving through your body  
>Looking at you I can tell you want me<br>Don't stop keep goin till the morning light, yeah_

Santana's voice was just as good as the others and I found I couldn't help myself, there moves were fairly easy to copy and I fell in clapping along with them. Quinn stepped up and sang next.

When I saw you there, sitting all alone in the dark acting like you didn't have a care  
>I knew right then, that you'd be mine, and we'd be dancing the whole damn night right<br>Ohhhhh ohh baby, I just want you to dance with me tonight  
>So come on, ohhhh ohh baby<br>I just want you to dance with me tonight

They lightly pushed me back onto the couch and went back to their starting positions. Everyone sang the last verse together clapping and looking at me with huge welcoming smiles.

_Break it down now, yeah yeah yeah yeah _

_shake it like that, yeah yeah yeah yeah_

_now bring it all back whooo  
>To dance with me tonight<br>One more time, one more time, come on now _

_yeah yeah yeah yeah, Do your thing, _

_yeah yeah yeah yeah, everybody sing,  
>I just wanna, ohhhh ohh baby<br>I just want you to dance with me tonight  
>So come on, ohhhh ohh baby<br>I just want you to dance with me tonight_

The song ended and they were all breathing heavily from their performance.

My friends rushed up to me; Rachel sat beside me on the couch with Quinn on her other side. Rachel was the first to speak. "So what'd you think?"

I looked from Rachel and Quinn to Mercedes and Santana who were perched on the coffee table in front of me.

"Wow" Was all I could say at first. I had never really seen anything like that before. "That was amazing, you are all so good."

All of them smiled obviously pleased that I'd enjoyed it.

"So Brittany, would you like to join Glee Club?" Rachel asked all formally.

I only had to think about it for a few seconds, "Absolutely."

**Thanks to everyone who read and I hope you liked it! Next chapter out soon.**

Amaka Jane **Thank you for the awesome compliment and I will finish this story I PROMISE! I know where I want to take it so don't worry about me just forgetting about it. **

Gleekelle **Im glad you like where Im taking it, I wanted to make it a slower story to cover more things so I hope you approve! Sorry for the not so fast update lol and I hope this made up for it.**

Chicavolcom89 **Sorry you feel the chapters are too short! Lol Im glad to hear that actually cause it means you like my story a lot! I hope this was longer and I'll try to do my best in making them longer. No promises though ;)**

.Hale **Im happy you are enjoying it! I love the name I understand if you want to change it, after I don't know how many years of mine being IloveSBC (a name I made right when I started) I changed it so I get it lol. Hope you enjoyed this!**


	5. So predictable

**Here's the next chapter! Enjoy!**

I woke up the next morning to find the room empty. Santana's bed was made and her school bag was gone.

I didn't know where she had run off to but all her clothes were still in the closet and her favorite sweatshirt, why it was her favorite I still didn't know, hung from the hook at the top of the door.

Knowing I'd see her at lunch I grabbed my towel and shampoo and headed to the bathroom.

I heard a couple girls in the far stalls already showering but the place was pretty much empty. I climbed in the closest stall to the door and began the water.

As I showered I thought about the day before and about joining Glee Club. After accepting Rachel's invitation to join I met all the other Glee Club members. They had all been very welcoming and I was more than happy with my decision to join.

After the meeting ended I sat with Rachel, Quinn, Mercedes, Tina, and Santana and we'd talked about music and dancing. I learned more about them and their backgrounds with signing.

Apparently Tina and Rachel had gone to the same school since they were little kids, both had been interested in the performing arts and had become friends long before they ever came to Dalton.

Mercedes had joined Glee Club the minute she'd arrived at the school. The second Mercedes opened her mouth and started singing you knew that's what she'd been born to do. Only having sung predominately at her church, Glee Club had just been the next step.

I came to learn that Quinn had only joined the Glee Club after she started dating Rachel, although I was surprised she hadn't come upon it on her own, after hearing her voice it was obvious she had talent.

Santana had been guided to music because of her mother, she'd bought her a guitar for her 10th birthday and Santana had taken to it immediately. The way she talked about singing gave me the impression that there was more to the story then she was saying, although I couldn't imagine what.

I turned off the water and wrapped the towel around me, walking back to my room.

After blow-drying my hair and getting dressed I checked my watch, it was just pass 7am so I grabbed my bag and headed down to the dining hall for breakfast.

As usual Quinn and Rachel sat together eating their food and talking quietly. I got my food and went and sat down across from them.

"Hey Brittany" Rachel said as I sat down.

"Hey guys how's it going?"

"Good just trying to wake up," Quinn half laughed taking a big gulp of her coffee. "Where's Santana?"

"I'm not sure actually, she wasn't there when I woke up this morning."

"Maybe she went to the library to get some more studying in…" Quinn offered and I shrugged. Her guess was just as good as mine.

I ate my food and took a look around the dining hall; I noticed that a few new decorations had been added to the room. There were fake spiders stuck to fake cobwebs strung up in the corners and a few pictures of witches and ghosts pinned up on the walls.

The summer had passed by so quickly, and I'd been so preoccupied with worrying about moving out of my house and starting at a new school, that I'd completely forgotten Halloween was only a couple weeks away.

"Is there anything special that we do here for Halloween?" I asked the two girls. At my old school they used to have a Halloween dance, but not many people ever attended so they eventually cancelled them altogether.

"Actually, yes!" Rachel said. "Every year they set up a Halloween party, they have a haunted house and hay rides, and a dance. Everyone from this school and from the Dalton Academy for Boys is invited. It's actually pretty fun, Mercedes and Tina's boyfriends both go to Dalton and we usually have a good time."

"That actually doesn't sound too bad."

"It's really pretty fun." Rachel assured me and Quinn nodded her head in agreement.

I now sat at the lunch table with Quinn, our French class had been let out early and we sat eating our food waiting for the rest of our friends.

I looked up at the door right as Santana entered with Mercedes. I hadn't seen her all day and I wondered again where she had gotten to this morning.

As Santana and Mercedes approached the table I could hear they were having a conversation.

"I don't know what I'm going to be yet." Santana said as they sat down.

"Oh are you guys talking about your costumes for the Halloween party?" Quinn asked looking interested.

"Yes, Mercedes was just telling me about her costume."

"Sam and I are going as Danny Zuko and Sandy from Grease." Mercedes said smiling.

"What are you going as?" I asked Santana and she just shrugged.

"I'm not sure yet. I may have to go off campus this weekend and do some shopping."

"You mind if Rachel and I go with you?" Quinn asked. "We haven't got our costumes yet either."

"Sure, oh and Brittany you should come too! I don't know if anyone told you about the Halloween party but it's usually a good time."

"Yeah Quinn and Rachel told me about it this morning, I'm in."

"Great!"

I smiled and took another bite of my lunch. It would be nice to get away from the school and just have some fun; and tomorrow was Friday so I wouldn't have long to wait.

Mercedes and Quinn started talking about possibilities for Quinn's costume so I took this opportunity to talk to Santana.

"Where were you this morning?"

She sighed. "Well remember when I got that call from my mom yesterday telling me my dad wanted to talk with me…well he wanted to have that talk this morning."

"Oh…how'd it go?"

"It was okay, he just wanted to check in with me and see how I was doing. I don't know we just don't really have the closest relationship; things kind of got messed up with us a while back and it hasn't been the same since. I hate it, every time I talk to him I feel like I'm getting a lecture."

"Uhhh" I hated that.

"Yeah, he did say he wished we talked more often so that's something I guess." She paused for a second looking down at the table, "I don't know."

Friday's classes passed by fast; I had worked my butt off the past couple days to do all my catch up work and I was happy to say that I was finished. Of course, now I had all my regular school work to worry about but at least I wasn't behind.

I found out that the girls had a routine of every Friday night getting together in Rachel and Tina's room to watch a movie.

I walked behind Santana as she led the way to Rachel and Tina's room. "Do you have any idea what movie we're watching?"

She looked over her shoulder shaking her head. "No, but knowing Rachel it'll be old and probably a musical."

I couldn't help laughing at the lack of excitement in her voice.

"Well here we are." Instead of knocking she just walked right in. I'd never been to their room before so as I followed her in I took a quick look around the room.

There were posters coving most of the wall space; from random Broadway shows I'd never heard of. Besides the posters and the obvious personal knick knacks their room was organized and set up much like Santana and I's.

Quinn was laid out on one of the twin beds, I'm assuming Rachel's, flipping through a magazine. She looked up as we entered, "Hey you two!"

"Hey where's Rachel?" Santana asked, walking over to the bed taking a seat beside Quinn. I sat down in the empty chair at the desk in front Rachel's bed listening to the two girls.

"She and Tina went to go drag Mercedes up here."

"Talking to Sam again?"

"Yes" she said a little annoyed. "I know they love each other and everything but do they really need to talk on the phone every minute of the day."

"Oh whatever, are you telling me that if Rachel went to a different school you wouldn't be calling her every 5 minutes…"

She paused momentarily glaring at Santana, "That's not the point."

Just then Mercedes, Tina, and Rachel came through the door; Mercedes took one look at Quinn and put her hands up walking over to the other bed. "I know, I know, but I'm here now so let just get this movie started…agreed?"

"Ya ya…" she smiled at Mercedes, already over her temporary annoyance and looked to Rachel. "So what movie will it be tonight?"

Rachel's face lit up as she practically skipped over to the TV, which I just now noticed sat on top of the other desk, picking up an anonymous DVD case holding it behind her back. "We're going to watch…" She pulled the case out from behind her back all dramatically, "Oklahoma!"

"What's it about?" I asked never having heard the title before.

"It's about a cowboy named Curly and a girl named Laurey who fall in love, and the struggles they come against in their fight to stay together." I noticed the look in her eyes as she talked about the love the characters shared and then how her eyes found Quinn's across the room.

"Is it a musical?" Santana asked.

"Yes…" Rachel said trying her best to sound innocent.

"and when was it made?"

"…1955"

"Rachel you are so predictable." I caught Santana's eye and she laughed giving me the 'I told you so' look and shaking her head. "Just put it in."

She turned around immediately, a huge smile spreading across her face, and put the DVD in the machine before going and nuzzling in beside Quinn.

I couldn't see the screen properly from where I sat so I stood up looking around for a better place to sit.

"Brittany come sit by me." Santana grabbed the extra pillows from Rachel's bed and threw them on the floor.

I sat on one of the pillows holding another in my lap and leaned against the side of Rachel's bed getting comfortable as the movie started.

About halfway through I noticed Santana's eyes were closed and her mouth was slack. I had to bite my lip to keep from bursting out laughing, she'd fallen asleep.

As I tried to keep myself from laughing her head slipped from its position against the bed and fell sideways landing on my shoulder.

I stared at the top of her head and smiled. She was turning out to be a really good friend.

When the movie ended I nudged Santana and shook her awake. It took a few times but eventually she awoke, yawned, and stretched pushing herself off the ground. "Well Rachel that was…as boring as I thought it was going to be."

Rachel pulled out of Quinn's arm about to argue with Santana when Quinn cut in, "I thought it was great." Rachel smiled, leaned down giving Quinn a peck on the lips, and smiling smugly at Santana.

"Of course you did…well I'm beat so I'm going to bed, Brittany you coming?"

"Yeah… goodnight guys!" I waved to my friends and followed Santana down the halls to our room.

We both changed quickly and fell into bed.

I laid there just staring up at the ceiling, with the first week out of the way I felt relieved, and I could feel myself settling in and knew that it wouldn't be long before this place felt more like home.

Santana must have read my mind because she broke the silence and asked from the other side of the darkness "I hope you're first week at Dalton was good."

"You know…I was just thinking that maybe coming here wasn't such a terrible thing after all."

"Good."

"Goodnight Santana."

"Night"

**I hope you all enjoyed this and I am going to have the next chapter out soon! **

Ifeelfantastic **I'm so glad you liked how the Glee Club introduced themselves to Brittany, which took so long for me to feel like it was right so thanks for letting me know you liked it! You totally made my day with that review! **


	6. Let them be kind

**I hope you all enjoy this! **

The last couple weeks had passed by so quickly.

I was happy to have been right in assuming how much I would grow to love this school. I was getting closer and closer with Quinn and Rachel, and even closer with Santana.

I was even feeling that one day I would be okay telling them about me. I hadn't ever thought that I would feel comfortable sharing that part of me; I'd thought I'd be in the closet forever.

With Halloween just a couple days away the students of Dalton were scrambling around looking for the last touches to their costumes, the thing to just take them to the next level.

Santana had found a really great Egyptian costume at the first store we went to but it had been far more difficult for me. I'd ended up deciding to wear my gypsy costume from last year.

I remember the day my mom came home from shopping with this gorgeous paisley looking skirt with pointed ends that hung to just above my knees; she'd had the idea to sew these fake gold coins on the ends of the skirt so when I walked they jingled together. She always like helping me put my costume's together.

My step dad had already sent it over and it was tucked away in my closet waiting for Halloween.

Mercedes and Tina were wearing costumes that matched their boyfriends, both of whom would meet us at the party.

Quinn had chosen a 1920's style costume that wend perfect with her short hair, and I hadn't seen Rachel's outfit yet, but I was sure it would be as equally fabulous as she knew she was.

I couldn't wait to see all of them dressed up in their costumes, they'd all be gorgeous.

The only thing I wasn't looking forward to was apparently now I would have a date. It had all happened yesterday when I was hanging out with the girls after Glee Club practice.

"_So Brittany, this weekend Tina and I went to hang out with Mike and Sam and we got to talking about the Halloween party and we were telling them about you and we all thought," she paused a second looking at Tina and smiling._

_I had a feeling I wouldn't exactly share their joy. "Thought what?"_

"_Well, Mike and Sam have a lot of friends over at Dalton and we were thinking that maybe one of them could be your date for the party…" she trailed off waiting for me to, I'm guessing, jump up and swoon over the prospect of a new cute boy but that was the last thing I wanted. _

_I was about to say no way and have that be the end of it; but, what would they think if I turned down this offer. I know, "She's a lesbian!" wouldn't be the first thing they thought of but maybe this was the last piece they needed to figure it out._

_Tina noticed my hesitation and jumped in trying to assure me, "I promise we've both met him and he's really nice and funny, I think you'd get along great!"_

"_Oookay…"I surrendered._

"_Great! I'll let the boys know! It's going to be so much fun."Mercedes and Tina got up, both opening up their phones, and left the room to call their boyfriends._

_I let my face fall at their disappearance. It might be fun, but the last thing I wanted to deal with was fending off some guys constant advances all night._

_I looked over at Santana who was reading a magazine across from me on the other couch, "So did they get you a date too…?" _

_She looked up from the page and shook her head with a smirk. "Oh no, they know better than to do that with me."_

I was shaken out of the memory from yesterday by my phone buzzing from my bedside table. I set aside the homework I'd been working on, grabbed the phone and flipped it open to read Mercedes text.

"Hey Brittany! I just talked to your date and he's really looking forward to meeting you! Can't wait for this weekend!"

I sighed unhappily as I read the message, tapping my fingers lightly on the keys trying to figure out what to write back.

Well no matter what I'd meet him on in 2 days so I better try to be excited.

"Awesome! Me too! " I responded forcing a smile and threw my phone back on the table, continuing to work through my homework.

The clock on the wall above my desk told me that it was just past 10pm and I was starting to feel drowsy. Tomorrow was the last day of school for this week and I would be thankful to get a break.

Santana still hadn't come to the room but she'd sent me a text an hour before telling me that she had to speak with her dad again and she would be back late.

I didn't know why she didn't just call him from the room but I figured she just wanted some privacy so I hadn't brought it up.

I yawned and rubbed my eyes putting my History book on the floor by my bed and snuggled up under the covers and falling asleep.

_I stood outside a large gate, looking at the big park that lay beyond it. There was a little house off to the left side of the park and somehow I knew I was meant to go there._

_As soon as I'd had the thought the gate swung open allowing me access and I hurried forward anxiously. I didn't know why but I had to get to that house, and quickly._

_As I approached the normal looking cottage I felt as if I was finally arriving home. _

_I took a deep breath and reached for the handle pushing open the door and walked in._

_It looked like any normal house. Inside the door and to the right was the living room. The whole house was open like a loft and you could barley tell the spot where one room ended and the next started._

_Even though I knew the house looked different it still felt like mine._

_I walked further inside the entry and saw someone from the corner of my eye moving around in the kitchen._

_I turned to look at the mystery person in the kitchen; I was staring at my mother. _

_There she was, sweeping the floor, looking better than I remembered, so healthy and alive._

_My breathing quickened and my chest felt tight, like someone had reached into my chest and was squeezing my heart with their bare hand. I couldn't hold back the tears in my eyes and I broke down into sobs. But I wasn't crying because I was sad, my mom was alive! I had never felt this kind of overwhelming happiness in my entire life._

_I stumbled in my rush to reach her and fell to the ground by her feet. I could barley speak as I cried and reached for her hand. _

"_You're alive!" was all I could get out. If she spoke to me I didn't hear it. I was too shocked; I'd thought I would never see her again, that she'd left me forever. But no, that had been some kind of dream, a nightmare, something my mind had convinced me was true._

_She was alive._

_I was finally able to stand up; I wrapped my arms around her, slowly soaking her shirt through with my tears as I sobbed on her shoulder. "Mom…mom…mommy…" I stammered and I felt her finger move through my hair._

"_Brittany," I heard her say my name but I couldn't respond. "Brittany…" again I was unable to answer her._

"Brittany!" I felt someone's hands shaking my shoulder as I cried and was brought out of the dream. "Brittany are you okay?"

It had felt so real.

She had been there, alive and well, but that wasn't real. She was still gone, and I was alone.

The devastation of that fact hit me hard and the tears from my dreams found me again. I clutched my pillow to me and buried my face within it trying to quiet my tears.

It felt like I'd lost her all over again.

"Brittany, shhhh" the female voice cooed trying to calm me down. "It was just a dream. It was just a dream." She kept saying and I now realized it was Santana.

Santana took her hands from my shoulders and pulled me away from the pillow and into her lap, laying my head against her leg.

She wrapped one arm around my shoulder and took my hand in her other squeezing it, trying to console me.

It took a while but eventually my breathing slowed down, and my tears stopped. I didn't know how long I'd cried for but she stayed with me the whole time.

I appreciated that.

I wiped the last tears from my eyes and pulled out of Santana's arms and sat up.

I grabbed my pillow, clutching it against my chest, and stared down at the space in between Santana and me.

"Brittany what's wrong?"

"Just a bad dream." I whispered, afraid that I might start crying again.

"I don't think that was any ordinary bad dream…" I looked up at her face and saw the unmistakable worry painted there. "You can tell me you know"

"It hurts…" I said and my eyes started to well up again.

She didn't say anything she just continued to look at me with those big brown eyes and I knew it was time I told her.

"I had a dream about my mom." I knew she wouldn't understand what that meant so I went on. "She died this summer…right before school started."

"That's why you started late" she realized and I nodded.

"Yeah, my step dad tried but he just couldn't deal." As much as I could, I didn't hate him for that, I understood. "Anyway, it's hard, especially now that I'm going here. It's like, I can kind of trick myself sometimes into believing she's still alive; that when I go home for Thanksgiving and Christmas she'll be there waiting for me, but she won't. She's gone and nothing will change that."

I explained my dream to her as best I could; mostly I just remembered the way it felt, to see her alive. Santana listened the whole time, asking a few questions but mostly just being there for me. She was turning out to be one of the best friends I had ever had.

"And then I woke up…"

She stared at me and I saw a tear fall down her face. "I'm so sorry" she said reaching forward and hugging me tightly; and with that hug she eased the pain I felt, if only a little.

I released her and laid back down grabbing the blanket to pull it up around me. Instead of getting up and returning to her own bed she laid down facing me, and pulled the covers up around both of us.

"I don't want you to be alone."

I gave her a little smile and closed my eyes, hoping that if dreams should come to me again tonight, let them be kind.

**I hope you all liked this chapter and I will have the next one out soon! The next one will be the Halloween party! :) **

**Thanks to all who read and remember review if you can! I love to hear what you think!**

Amaka Jane **I'm glad you like the last chapter! And if you think Santana's opened up then just wait! Lol It'll be good! **

Bicorn **ME TOOO! haha**

Gleeeeeeeek89 **I hope the fact that she's nice is a good thing? Lol and I hope you continue to like where I take it!**

Lileyfan1415 **I think Rachel and Quinn together is adorable too! Lol and it took me a while to make sure that the introduction to the glee club was right so I'm glad you enjoyed it! What happens next…you'll have to wait and see ;)**

Ifeelfantastic **haha I appreciate every single review that comes in! thanks for taking the time to review! I wasn't sure when I put in the background but I want the story to be well rounded so I hope im doing alright :) and the halloween party is the next chapter so you won't have to wait too long! **


	7. My heart ached for that time

**Enjoy!**

I woke up the next morning with Santana still asleep beside me. It was still pretty dark outside and the clock behind Santana told me it was just past five in the morning.

The rest of my sleep had been completely peaceful; I'd not had one dream. I was more rested than I've felt in weeks.

I pulled the blankets up around my shoulders, shutting out the cold, and turned my head to look at the girl lying next to me. Santana must be having a good dream because the small hint of a smile graced her lips and I suddenly whished that I could view the things inside her head.

Her long hair flowed messily over the pillow and her hand was laid out in the space between us almost as if it was reaching for me.

I remembered last night, when I'd been drowning in grief, how she'd soothed me, and held my hand in hers, comforting me.

I'd never had anyone beside my family treat me with such care.

I watched her nearly still form move up and down as she breathed in and out in perfect rhythm.

Her stillness was interrupted and she suddenly took a big breath, drawing her legs up toward her.

A small piece of her hair fell loose and dangled down in front of her face. The hair must have been tickling her because her nose bunched up and wiggled followed by her hand reaching up trying to bat it away; still very much asleep she wasn't having much luck.

I laughed quietly and reached across to push the hair off her face and tucked it behind her ear.

With the little annoyance finally gone she smiled in her sleep and then startling me, her hand reached out and wrapped around my waist. Her head slipped from the pillow down onto the mattress, bringing her closer, and enabling her arm to further tighten around my body.

Just like how she'd comforted me the night before, this was a new experience as well.

Since I'd never told anyone about me before, and I had never had the guts to try anything with the girls I did have a crush on, I'd never been this close with a girl before. I'd never laid and cuddled with one.

Even though Santana and I were just friends I really liked the feeling of having a girls arm around me.

I let my mind drift off and I imagined the girl I would meet someday, the girl I would fall in love with, and my heart ached for that time.

I laid there for a while, just thinking, and watched as the room brightened around me. I knew the alarm would go off soon and I would have leave the comforting and safe place within these covers and begin the day.

Just as I predicted, moments later, the alarm went off scaring the crap out of me, and Santana as well, because she shot up, looking around all panicky, before slamming her hand down on the clock and falling back against the pillow.

"I really hate alarm clocks."

It was the end of the school day on Friday; most of the girls, having already rushed out for last minute Halloween shopping, had left the halls eerily quiet.

As I walked down the hallway I neared the Headmasters office, I peeked through the partly open door as I passed, but the room was empty.

I thought absently where he might be, never having seen him in any other part of the school, but I let it slip away quickly not really caring.

As I got closer to the stairs that would lead up to my room, I heard a couple voices coming from the room up ahead.

I immediately recalled that the high pitched, overly peppy voice, was Miss Pillsbury, which made sense as I now realized the voices were coming from her office.

The other voice was definitely a male but I couldn't connect the voice to a face.

I walked slowly as I neared the door, hoping to just slip past without them noticing my presence.

"She is doing well then?" The male voice asked Miss Pillsbury.

"I believe so, yes. I've had no complaints and by everything I've witnessed she seems to be back on track."

Where they talking about me? I stopped instantly curious and continued to listen.

"That's good to hear." The man said and there was a few seconds of silence before he spoke again. "I just don't want any trouble."

"Like I told you before sir, I'm keeping an eye out for her and will let you know if there are any issues." Miss Pillsbury, whose voice was always so full of life, had turned sour. Her voice said perfectly that she wasn't pleased about what she had been asked to do.

"Thank you." There was silence again

I decided that I didn't want to be standing out here in the hall if the two should decide to leave and find me snooping, so I took one breath and ducked my head walking ahead hoping they wouldn't see me as I passed the door.

"Oh! Miss Pierce!" I had barely passed the door when she called out to me. I tuned slowly hoping they wouldn't know I'd just been eavesdropping.

I looked through the open door and saw Miss Pillsbury stand up from behind her desk waving me forward.

I put a smile on my face and walked in, "Yes, Miss Pillsbury?" I asked. The man who'd been quietly sitting in the seat facing away from me turned around and I realized it was the Headmaster.

"Hello sir," I greeted with a smile.

"Brittany, the Headmaster and I were just discussing tomorrows Halloween party, you're going aren't you?"

"Yes…yes I am."

"Oh lovely!" She said walking around her desk and coming around to lean against the front of the table.

The Headmaster stood up and I was taken aback by how big he was. He towered over me by several inches and with his broad shoulders, long legs, and arms you could have placed two of me, side by side, behind him and you would still only see his commanding stature in front of you.

"It's nice to see you acclimating so nicely." He said smiling slightly down at me.

"Yes, I am really enjoying it here." His eyes looked into me, searching for something, and I had the urge to look away, as if he was looking into me and seeing my secrets.

"Well, I'll see you both at the party tomorrow." He said moving around me and walking to the door.

"You're going?" I asked the surprise obvious in my voice.

He just let out a little laugh. "Yes, I usually attend the school's functions, always need more chaperones."

He gave a little wave and then was gone.

"Did you need something Miss Pillsbury?"

"Oh nothing in particular, I just wanted to see how you were doing." She moved back to her seat, leaned back in her chair and took a sip of the water from the cup on her desk, swishing it around her mouth and then swallowing. "Still getting along with your roommate?"

"Yes actually, we get along great; I've made some really good friends here." She smiled and I knew that she was genuinely pleased that things were working out.

She looked down shuffling around some papers on her desk. "Well that's good; you know sometimes people have problems with their roommates. I'm glad you are getting along with yours."

"Me too."

"Well I won't keep you" she said looking back up at me with the same smile she always wore plastered on her face, although this time it looked more forced.

"Ok, see you at the party then." I said goodbye and left quickly, walking down the hall and up to my room.

The whole encounter with Miss Pillsbury and the Headmasters struck me as odd. I didn't know if it had been me they'd been talking about, but it seemed likely. I was just happy to be away from there.

I walked into my room and found Santana sitting on her bed doing homework.

"Hey" I said throwing my bag down on the floor.

"Hey Brit what took you so long? Classes ended like twenty minutes ago."

I fell down atop my bed looking up toward the ceiling. "I had to shower after gym, and then I had a really weird run in with Miss Pillsbury and the Headmaster"

I'd expected her to immediately start in with the questions but she stayed silent. I turned on my side, propping my head up with my hand, and continued, "It was weird, there were talking about someone, I think it was me, but I don't know for sure."

"What'd they say?" She asked looking toward me.

"Just something about a student, the Headmaster asked how they were adjusting, and since I'm the newest kid at this school it has to be me that they were talking about."

"Anything else?" She looked down at her paper again, her brow knitting up as if she was trying to solving a huge math problem.

"He just wanted to know if there had been any problems with said student and asked her to keep an eye out for her. It had to have been about me." She shook her head, turning her eyes back toward me.

"Maybe, but it's possible it wasn't. I wouldn't worry about it." She picked up the pencil that she'd previously set on the bed and then continued her work.

I rolled around to lie on my back again and wondered why everyone seemed to be acting so weird today.

**Hope you all liked it! The party will be the next chapter.**

**Thanks to everyone who read I really appreciate it! Keep reviewing its so great to hear all your thoughts!**

Gleeeeeeeek89** Don't worry about the date, it should be fun ;)**

Lileyfan1415 **She hasn't said anything yet about liking girls but it will come. And stay tuned for the Halloween party it will be good**

PazuzuGodking** Im glad you like it! I don't like mean Santana lol **

Brittana100 **I will do my best! And Im so happy you like it so much!**

xxxPLLforeverxxx** I hope the little bit I gave you in this chapter kept you going ;)**

Ai Shiteru Soul** I'm so happy you noticed! I'm glad you're enjoying the story! Stay tuned for more goodness!**

Ponyluva** I am so very glad you got caught up in this story! Its been so fun writing and Im glad you seem to be enjoying it as much as I am. I will keep going don't worry I know where Im taking it so I won't leave it unfinished!**


	8. She didn't just look good

**Felt like writing! So here is the next chapter. Next chapter out soon! Hope you enjoy this!**

We'd all been getting ready the better half of the afternoon.

The school had set the party to start just after 7 so that they could end the party and have us all back at school, tucked in bed, before 11.

As Santana and I got ready, our friends rushed in and out of our room, borrowing makeup and random thing, trying to get everything just right for their dates.

I pulled the costume bag out of my closet and laid it out on the bed. The plastic had taken in the familiar scent of my childhood home, and I immediately plunged into the memories of my past.

Images of my mother flashed through my head and I could almost hear her voice as she brought me the finished costume I now held; she'd been so pleased with it, and I hadn't been any different. I remembered her smile, big and beautiful, as she showed me the finished product.

People said that when I smiled I looked just like her. I didn't really see it, but there were those rare times, when I would walk by a mirror, or I'd catch my reflection in some surface I passed, and I would see her smile there across my face. It made me so happy to have that connection to her, no matter how small.

I unzipped the zipper and pulled out the skirt, fingering the tiny golden coins that I'd helped sew on, and listened to them jingle and sparkle and they caught the light.

"What time is it?" I asked Santana, still looking down at my costume, wondering if I should put it on yet.

"It's just past 5."

Before I could say anything else Mercedes rushed in the room. She looked down at me, still in my pajamas, "Come on girl you gotta hurry up!"

"I will be ready, don't worry about it." I turned and picked up the skirt and the clothing bag and went over to hang it from my closet door.

I had already finished my hair; I'd decided to make it simple and just curled it, letting it fall down across my shoulders.

"Good, and remember, we are all meeting downstairs at 6:30."

"6:30, got it!" I said, reassuring her as I stepped behind my closet door, preparing to change.

I heard Santana shut the door behind Mercedes as she left and was glad that I was, for the moment anyway, able to show how I really felt about this, "date".

I tossed my pajamas on the floor and reached inside the bag pulling out the white blouse. I pushed my arms through the holes and worked to button up the shirt.

The skirt came easily up my legs and I secured it around my waist before reaching to pull out the vest and slipped that on as well.

I looked at myself in the long mirror that hung on the inside of the door and smiled, it was almost like it was a year ago again, and once I stepped out from behind the closet door, there my mom would be, smiling, waiting to send me off.

The make-up however was new; Santana had asked to do it and since I hadn't had any thoughts on what I might do yet, I'd let her.

She had started with purple at the corners and worked her way across my eyelid fading to a light accent of green; it looked wonderful, and matched my costume perfectly.

"Okay, I think I'm ready." I said taking another long look at myself in the mirror.

"Let's see!" Santana requested from the other side of the room.

I stepped out from behind the door and waited for her reaction.

She smiled instantly looking me up and down. "You look great!" she said but then her mouth scrunched up to the side like she was thinking about something, "Wait…I think you need one more thing."

She went over to her box of hair accessories and pulled out a small clip. I watched, curious, and noticed that it wasn't just a simple clip. The clip had a couple of strings attached to it, a few ending in beads, and one feather that hung amongst them all.

It would go perfectly with my outfit.

She walked over and lifted the hair away from my left ear, securing the clip in place and then covered it back up. The beads and feather fell down with my hair and were easily visible. As I went over to the mirror and saw her addition I knew I was right, it was perfect.

"Thank you! This is wonderful!"

"Of course!" she exclaimed turning around and moving to get herself dressed.

I pulled at random strings of hair, making sure everything was in place.

I could see Santana's reflection in the mirror as she began to change. She had her back to me as she pulled her shirt over her head and slipped off her pants. Her darker skin, covered with nothing but her underwear, looked so smooth I had the urge to turn around and touch it.

I then realized that I was leering at her and tuned my head down.

I felt like, because she didn't know I was a lesbian and therefore unknowingly changing in front of a gay girl, that I should make sure she got as much privacy as she did when I wasn't her roommate.

I didn't want her to find out later on and then freak out because she'd seen me looking at her. I mean even if she was just a friend, I was still into girls, and the half naked body in the room was definitely not something easily ignored.

I moved away from the mirror, away from the temptation to look, and put on my shoes. They were these small flats I'd borrowed from Quinn and they looked great.

"How do I look?"

I turned around and my mouth nearly fell open. She was wearing the Egyptian costume I'd seen her buy less than a month ago, and while I could tell it was the same, it was almost a completely new dress now that it was on her.

The white looked so clean against her darker skin and the blue and gold accents fit well with the jewelry she'd picked out. Her hair was drawn up in messy curls into a bun at the back of her head with a few strands hanging down the side of her face; she looked stunning.

"Wow…" I said a bit caught off guard.

"That good huh" she smirked jokingly, looking down at herself.

I quickly pulled myself together and nodded, smiling, "Yes, you look really good."

"Thanks" she reached out and picked up a small gold headband, wrapping it around her head.

She didn't just look good. As I watched her slip on her shoes and then walk over to the mirror and check her makeup I felt the familiar fluttering begin in my stomach, the kind you got when you are around someone you like.

Did I like Santana? I mean there was no doubt that she was gorgeous, and a great person, but I couldn't understand why the feelings would choose now to appear.

"Are you almost ready? We'll have to meet them down there soon." Santana said breaking me out of my thoughts. I looked up and her and when my eyes met hers I felt another flutter.

"Yeah almost," I turned away from her looking around the room to make sure I had everything I needed; also giving myself a chance to push whatever this was I was feeling away so I could concentrate on tonight. "Ready."

I stood with Mercedes, Quinn, Rachel, Tina, and Santana at the front of the school.

Quinn looked great in her 20's era costume and Rachel, I hadn't known what her costume was till today, was dressed in a pink twentieth century style dress, which surprisingly fit her very well. She stood next to Quinn, holding hands, as we waited to leave.

Mercedes was dressed as Sandy from Grease, just like she promised.

Tina's costume was kind of confusing to me. She wore a green shirt with a yellow monkey on it, a yellow helmet, and pads.

She'd explained that it was one of the team's outfits from a game show her and her boyfriend watched as kids, I'd never heard of it.

I'd been told that Mercedes and Tina's boyfriends, along with my date and a few other guys, would be meeting us here so we could all head to the party together.

"Do you know most of these guys?" I asked Santana as we waited.

"Yeah, I've met all of them, even your date, which I can say out of all the guys they could have put you with they didn't necessarily choose a bad one."

"Well that's good."

We had all put in money to rent a limo for the night. We had such a huge group that if we wanted to go all together it was the only option, thankfully, the more people we had the less each individual had to pay so it all worked out nicely.

I saw the limo turn onto the drive that led up to the front of the school and took a deep breath in waiting.

The first boy to emerge from the car must be Mike. He was dressed in exactly the same outfit as Tina and he walked eagerly toward her embracing her with a hug and a kiss.

A guy in a leather jacket and pants, with a white shirt underneath, hair slicked back, came out next. I heard Mercedes call to him and he went to her side kissing her cheek. Sam.

I'd heard all about their boyfriends but seeing them together made me smile.

The next guy out was wearing a nice fitted tux with fake blood down the front. His face was painted white and there was more fake blood coming down from his mouth, flowing down over his neck. His smile showed me the false vampire teeth and then she rushed over to, to my surprise Santana, and hugged her.

"Santana! It's so good to see you!" He was just a bit taller than her, shorter than me, with dark brown hair that he had styled back with gel.

"Blaine this is Brittany" Santana introduced pointing to me. "My new roommate."

He turned to me with a big smile, "Yes, I've heard about you" He joked and shook my hand.

Another boy, who was wearing a sleek silver looking outfit with a silver cape and these weird white balls hanging down above his face, came bounding toward us.

"Santana! Rachel! Quinn!" he said hugging each girl in turn and looking ecstatic.

After he'd finished embracing the girls he walked over to Blaine and wrapped his arm around the boy's waist.

Huh. I guess they were together.

"Kurt, as I was just telling Blaine, this is Brittany, my new roommate."

His smile widened and he pulled me into a huge as well. "It's nice to meet you Brittany!"

"You too" I said, feeling a little awkward as he pulled back and linked hands with Blaine.

"So you're the one who's been set up with my adorable but clueless brother."

Just then another guy stepped out of the limo. He was very tall, the tallest of all the guy by far, and his costume, with the bolts sticking out of his neck and the green color his face was painted, there was no mistaking what he was dressed up as. He wore an all black tux that had been frayed and made to look ragged to fit the costume.

He walked up to me, "Hi, you must be Brittany, I've heard a lot about you. I'm Finn."

I shook his hand as I looked him over. He seemed nice enough, "Yes I'm Brittany, hi."

Another voice from inside the car yelled out to us, "Come on you guys! Let's get this party started!" The guy who had spoken then hung himself half outside the door, impatiently waving us to the car.

"We're coming Puck! Don't freak out…" Mercedes said heading to the car and pulling Sam along behind her.

Mike and Tina went in after Mercedes and Sam, followed closely by Quinn and Rachel and Blaine and Kurt.

Finn turned and went ahead of me and as I went to follow I noticed Santana lagging behind.

"Everything ok?" I asked noticing the drop her mood had taken.

"Yeah…I just really don't like that guy, Puck. Remember how I told you they know better than to set me up with someone? Well he's the reason why."

I looked over toward the car, the guy, Puck, was hanging out of the sky roof yelling into the air.

I frowned. "Well I'm sure it won't be too hard to avoid him." I smiled as I had a thought. "Tell you what, just stay close to me and I'll make sure to run interference, I won't let him ruin this night for you."

She looked up with a surprised smile. "That sounds great."

She reached out and took my hand, that little flutter I'd felt earlier returned as her skin came into contact with mine, and we walked together toward the car.

**The details of the party will come next. I know it feels like it's taking forever to get there but it will happen. It just has to be right lol**

**Hope you all liked it! Review! Review!**

Misusedghost1989** I'm glad you like it! The party will be good don't worry lol**

Gleeeeeeeeek89 **Yes they are endgame.**

Brittana100** I like overprotective Santana very much! So I have something planned already that I think you will like so don't worry it'll be good. I'm sorry to hear that you feel reading this story is the only time you feel 'real' and being that I know what you're going through it WILL get better and even though now you feel like you can't tell anyone, it just takes one person. **

Penxitalita** I hope it will be as awesome as you think it will be too! Lol **

Lileyfan1415** You will find out! ;)**


	9. Now we're even

**Still in the writing mood! So here ya go! Enjoy!**

I climbed into the limo and sat down next to Finn as Santana slid in beside me and shut the door.

The car began to move and we were now leaving the school and headed toward the Halloween party.

I watched as everyone started talking to the people beside them. I saw Finn looking at me from the corner of my eye and pretended not to notice.

I looked to the side of me at Santana; she stared out the window looking at nothing in particular it seemed, just trying to take herself out of the car she now found herself. A small frown was starting to form on her face. I wanted to reach out and take her hand; but I didn't.

I looked back toward the front of the car and noticed that Puck was staring at Santana. I saw him looking back and forth from her to the conversation he was having with Mike.

I didn't like the smirk he wore on his face as he stared at her. It was almost possessive, like he was playing some kind of game with her.

He called out suddenly, "Hey, Santana!"

She ignored him.

"Santana, come here!" His voice beckoned her to him; but not in a nice romantic way. It was almost a command.

I really didn't like it.

"You're Puck right?" I nearly shouted pushing my hand out toward him.

He looked a little confused but reached out and grasped my hand. "Yes, and who might you be?"

"I'm Brittany"

He looked over at Finn, "So this is your date huh?" he smiled looking to me again. "She's very pretty." I could tell he meant it as a compliment but I wasn't at all interested and I wanted him to know that.

"Thanks but you're not my type." I smirked. He just winked in return and looked back to Mike.

"He's right, you are." He smiled and when I didn't return the compliment he just went on. "He can be kind of a lot. I fully apologize for anything he may do tonight."

"Yeah he seems like kind of a trouble maker." I smiled at Finn trying to be somewhat a good date.

"Yeah, he gets into his fare share of messes but I think all around he's not that bad of a guy."

"We'll see…" I turned away from him and looked over at Santana. She must have seen me looking, just like I'd seen Finn, and peered over at me.

My right hand rested on the seat between us and I watched her move hers down from her lap to cover mine. She gave my hand a small squeeze 'Thank you' she mouthed and then looked back out the window. I wondered what had happened that had made things so bad between the two, although, now having met him, it wasn't hard to imagine.

We arrived sooner than I'd expected. I heard the bumping of the bass coming from the music at the dance and soon enough I could see the stage where the dj was playing and a bunch of kids were dancing along.

Santana was out as soon as the car stopped and I followed just a quickly.

We waited as everyone exited the limo. Finn came to stand beside me and Santana, clutching his arms to his chest, trying to push away the cold.

Rachel and Quinn came to stand on the other side of Santana and me and after everyone gathered together Rachel spoke. "So I don't know about all of you but Quinn and I are going to go check out the Hayrides." She looked back at Quinn, smirking secretly and I knew they just wanted an excuse to get away from the group and snuggle up next to each other.

"Oh! Us too!" Tina said grabbing Mike's hand.

"Well I'm headed to the dance floor!" Puck announced and sauntered off alone toward the crowd of people.

"Baby, I wanna dance!" Mercedes said to Sam and he followed her off in the same direction Puck had gone.

"What about you guys?" Quinn asked, looking from Santana, to me, to Finn. "You want to come to the Hayrides with us?"

"Uhh no thanks" I said and then quickly looked toward Finn, "I mean if that's okay with you. I was hoping to check out the Haunted House first."

He nodded in agreement and we waved to the two couples and they skipped off. "You wanna come with us?" I asked, hoping she would say yes.

Sadly she just shook her head. "No I'll just hang with these guys." She said slinging her arms around Blaine and Kurt's shoulders.

"Fantastic!" Blaine said returning her light embrace.

"I'm starved! How about we go get some food first?" Kurt asked the two of them.

"Sounds good!" Santana said.

As she walked past me she teasingly whispered "I wouldn't want to ruin your date." And followed after Blaine and Kurt toward the food area.

The Haunted House had been pretty cool. It had ended when a man wearing all black came out of nowhere with a chainsaw and chased me out the exit. I swear I'd never been so frightened in my life.

Finn had laughed as we escaped harm's way "Wow! That was scary! Even my heart's racing." He said touching his hand to his chest.

"What would you like to do now?" When we'd entered the Haunted House it's just been getting dark, now the sky was a dark blue and the temperature had dropped a little.

I shivered as the wind suddenly whipped past me, "Actually, I'd like to go get some hot cider, warm up a bit."

"Sound like a plan to me."

I let my eyes wander over all the faces we passed on our way down the hill but I caught no sight of any of our friends.

Finn and I walked toward the stands near the dance floor and both grabbed a cup of hot apple cider.

I let it warm in up my hands as I blew away the steam rising from the hot liquid.

"So how long have you been going to Dalton?" I asked him, taking a sip of cider.

"Even since I was a freshman actually, my mom met Kurt's dad when we were in junior high and after they got married we moved into the Dalton school district."

"Kurt's your brother!"

He laughed, "Yeah, just a step brother, but we are pretty close."

My opinion of Finn went up. He seemed nice and genuine, very caring. If I wasn't completely into girls he would be the type of guy I'd want to date.

"What about you? What brought you to Dalton?"

I was surprised when the conversation turned to my mother. I felt the familiar pain as I remembered the reason, "I just need a change."

He seemed content with that answer and just left it at that; thankfully.

"Hey Finn! Brittany!" I heard a guys voice call to us from across the dance floor. When I looked over I saw it was Puck.

He clumsily made his way over to us and as soon as he reached us I could smell the alcohol.

"What's up guys!" he said stumbling a little; Finn reached out to steady him.

"Whoa man! How much have you had to drink?"

Puck held up two fingers, "Just a little," he laughed swaying from side to side.

"Alright…here take a seat" Finn guided a drunken Puck over to the nearest chair and threw him into it. "You mind staying here while I go get him so water? I'll be quick."

Puck's head was lying against the table and I knew without a doubt that he wasn't going anywhere. "Yeah sure" He nodded and rushed off immediately.

I took the seat next to Puck and waited. He didn't seem to know I was there so I didn't talk to him; I didn't want to talk to him.

All of a sudden he turned his head toward me. "Why does she not like me?" he whispered, eyes still closed.

I didn't say anything hoping he'd forget he asked me anything and fall back asleep. But no such luck. "Santana!" he quietly shouted. "Why doesn't she like me…" he opened his eyes and gazed up at me.

I was surprised at the sound of hurt in his voice. "I don't know." I said simply and he just sighed closing his eyes again.

I looked out at the crowd and saw Finn coming toward us with a bottle of water. As he reached me I realized he wasn't alone.

"Hey Santana," I smiled as she approached with Blaine and Kurt behind her. "Guys"

They said hi to me but all of their eyes went to Puck.

"He got drunk again?" Kurt asked looking irritated.

"Yeah…" Finn confirmed. "Hey Puck! Puck! Drink this" he shoved the open bottle into Puck's hand and made him gulp down some water.

"Hey guys, look out it's your Headmaster" Blaine warned.

I turned around just in time to see the Headmaster come up behind me.

"Hello everyone, are you all enjoying this wonderful party?" He looked suspiciously at Puck and around at our small group.

"Yes," Finn said looking directly at the man who, even as tall as Finn was, appeared to tower over him. "My friend just had something bad to eat; I think I better take him back to the school." As if on cue Puck let out a moan.

"I think that would be a good idea." The big man looked at me and smiled, "Nice to see you again Brittany, hope your night is coming along nicely."

"So far" I smiled.

He walked past me and up to Santana. I watched in surprise and he leaned down and kissed her cheek. "Sweetie, is this your date?" He asked looking to Blaine who stood beside her.

She just glared at him. "No dad, he's just a friend." She said curtly folding her arms over each other and looking the other way.

Dad?

"Don't be rude Santana." He frowned looking embarrassed as if Santana was a three year old having a tantrum. "Well, I have other people to see so I'll leave you kids to your fun. Make sure you get him home." He said to Finn.

He leaned down, placed another kiss on Santana cheek, and walked away.

"That was close." Finn said grabbing Pucks arm and pulling him up out of the chair. Puck could barely stand so Finn had to wrap his arm around his waist to support him. "I better take him home." and the disappointment he felt at that statement was clear.

"That's fine, I understand." He smiled reluctantly.

As he started to drag Puck away from the four of us Puck pulled himself out of Finns arm stumbling and mumbed something that sounded like 'I'm fine'

His drunken eyes opened and locked on me. In his intoxicated condition he didn't seem to care what kind of consequences his actions might have and before I knew it he was pressed up against me, his hand running down my back.

"Hey you're pretty," he said placing his hand on the side of my head. I realized too late his intentions as his lips crashed down onto mine; they were there for only mere moments before I felt his body being ripped back.

"Get away from her!" I heard Santana yell as he went falling to the floor. He held his hands up laughing but didn't say anything to defend himself. "Uh! Finn get him out of here!" She shouted.

"Whoa! Santana! Calm down." Finn picked Puck up off the floor. "Not cool man." He said to Puck and with a look to me that said he was sorry, he left.

After the two were out of sight I walked up to Santana. Her mouth was still bent down in anger, "Thanks for doing that." I whispered quietly to her.

She seemed to forget the anger she had previously been feeling and turned to me a smile now on her face. "Now we're even."

Kurt and Blaine walked over to us not sure what to say after that embarrassing display.

"You guys wanna go to the Hayrides?" I asked just wanting to be somewhere else.

"That sounds great!" Kurt nearly squealed latching onto Blaine's arm. "I call riding with Blaine!" he yelled and we all laughed.

**I hope you all liked this! Next chapter will be out soon!**

**Gleeeeeeeeek89** I'm glad you liked it! Definitely yay for endgame

**Lileyfan1415** I hope you were pleased with what happened at the Halloween party! She definitely just might like Santana more than a friend lol

**SamaireLaSaya** I am so glad you like it! And thanks for the multiple reviews!

**LunarMiko07** Im happy you like it and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	10. To hell with him

**Here you all go! Enjoy!**

We didn't have to walk far to get to the Hayrides. There was a small line of people in front of us so we just stood there and waited our turns.

When we reached the front of the line the man, who had been slowly filtering kids onto the hayride, called for the next people.

All four of us walked up we were handed 2 blankets and offered more hot cider should we want some to warm us up on the ride.

We all climbed up into the back of the wagon; the paneled sides rising above my head as I took a seat down in the hay.

Santana sat down next to me and threw the blanket over herself raising her eyebrows at me asking if I wanted some. I nodded and she scooted closer, covering my legs with the soft blanket.

Kurt and Blaine, who sat on the other side, leaned up close together and were talking quietly to each other. With the sound of the wind and the tractor that had just lurched forward beginning the ride, I couldn't hear a word they said.

For the beginning of the ride Santana and I just drank our cider and looked out the gaps in the panels. They had staged small little scary scenes for the riders to come upon. Some of the things would suddenly move and run toward the wagon but we always just managed to escape.

With all the stuff that had happened before I'd nearly forgotten to ask Santana about her dad, "Why didn't you tell me your dad was the Headmaster?" Know having said it out loud I wonder how I hadn't put it together sooner. They did look quite similar.

She signed, setting her empty cup down in the hay, and turned to me. "We just really don't get along." I could tell she hoped that I would accept that and move on but I couldn't, it just didn't make sense.

"Well that's obvious. I just don't see why, after all the stuff we've talked about, you didn't feel like you could tell me."

"It's not that. I just…" she trailed off and looked like she was trying to choose the exact right words. "We had a huge fight before school started this year. When he looks at me all he sees is a troublemaker."

"But you're not…" I said confusion evident on my face. A troublemaker was definitely not the words I'd have used to describe Santana.

"Well that's how he sees it. I'm this huge disappointment." She stopped and looked down, picking at a few pieces of hay before continuing. "I would have told you eventually, I just didn't want him convincing you that I was this bad person or something… I'm not."

"Well after having met you I can tell you that no one could make me believe you were anything but amazing, but I guess I can understand. Parents are tough." She nodded, knowing all too well of what I was speaking about.

"To hell with your dad!" I exclaimed almost too loudly and she started giggling.

"Yeah, to hell with him!"

When the hayride finally came to an end and we were back where we'd started the mood had lightened. Kurt and Blaine had been given enough couple time on the ride that they were beaming and Santana finally seemed to have shaken away her bad mood.

As we unloaded ourselves from the wagon I heard that same perky high pitched voice calling out. "Hello girls! Santana! Brittany!"

"Hey Miss P." Santana answered as we worked our way over to her.

She was standing in line next to some guy I didn't know. He looked to be about the same age, with light brown hair that was slicked back and he was dressed up as a cop. Miss Pillsbury was dressed as a strawberry, all in pink, with a cute little green spiky hat atop her head. She also wore a smile on her face bigger than I'd ever seen.

"Hi Mr. Schue" The boys said as we approached the two and I realized that he must be one of their teachers back at Dalton.

"Hello boys…" He said with a smile.

"How was the ride?" Miss Pillsbury asked looking expectant.

"It was great! Very scary" Santana mocked but you could tell she'd truly enjoyed it.

Miss Pillsbury looked over at Mr. Schue and I saw the twinkle in her eyes as she looked at him. You could tell almost immediately that she was in love with this man.

"Having a good night I hope?" Miss Pillsbury asked looking at me.

"It's been great! You guys should check out the Haunted House if you get a chance!"

The man working at the front of the line called "NEXT!" and waited for two teachers so he could lead them to an empty wagon.

"We better go" Mr. Schue said placing his hand on her back to guide her away.

"See you girls at school!" Miss Pillsbury said and she skipped away.

It was nice seeing Miss Pillsbury so happy. I hoped that whatever was going on with those two that it would work out.

We checked the time and realized it was getting close to the end of the night.

The group had planned on meeting up back at the car at 10:30 so we headed there now. As we walked towards where the car should be sitting waiting for us, it struck me that we may not even have a car to go home in. But my fears disappeared as we rounded the corner; I wonder how Finn had gotten Puck home.

Quinn and Rachel were already there. Quinn was leaning against the side of the limo and Rachel sat right inside the door, moving her hands together swiftly, attempting to warm them.

"Hey guys" Quinn greeted as we walked up. She looked at the four of us and tilted her head to the side in question. "Where's Finn?"

Santana just sighed and leaned back against the car next to Quinn. "Puck" was all she said.

Quinn looked at Blaine and Kurt, then me; after all he'd been my date, looking for further explanation. "Puck got drunk again." Kurt said.

"Oh." Her face told me this wasn't a rare occurrence.

"Yeah…" Kurt said and then pulled Blaine along into the car and started chatting with Rachel about their night.

I stayed outside with Quinn and Santana and waited for the others.

Mike and Tina came along first, slightly out of breath, with small bead of sweat across their foreheads. "Tonight was so much fun!" Mike said wrapping his arm around Tina as he bounced in rhythm to the faraway sounds of music. Clearly they'd been off enjoying the dance floor most of the night.

Mercedes arrived moments later with Sam and after explaining to the others why we were missing two members of our group we all got in the car and started back toward the school.

All of us girls said goodnight to the boys and with promises that we would get together soon, we all headed into the school.

Santana and I hugged our friend's goodnight and went off to our room.

I walked in the door and went to lie down on my bed. Only when my head hit soft mattress did I realize how tired I was. We'd been up since early this morning preparing for tonight's party and my energy was spent.

"Uhhh I'm so tired!" I moaned.

Santana laughed and grabbed my hand pulling me up. "Come on! You gotta change out of that pretty little outfit of yours before you can go to sleep."

I felt butterflies in my stomach roar up again as she said the word pretty. There was no mistaking now what those butterflies meant. I liked her. Perfect.

I'd fallen for many straight girls in my life and each one had ended the same way. I'd just kept quiet till my feelings either went away or I learned to ignore them. I knew that this would be the same.

I glanced over at Santana, to get one last look of her in that Egyptian dress before she too changed for bed.

She looked just as stunning as she did this afternoon, only more so. The moon shined through our bedroom window and cast a white glow against her tan skin. I felt like I could be in ancient Egypt right now, staring at their Queen.

I turned away once again as she began to change and after I'd finished putting on my pajamas I hopped into bed.

I laid there and watched as she slid her costume back into the closet. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course" she said as she tossed the shoes she'd worn tonight to the back of her closet.

"Well I was just wondering…what happened between you and Puck? I mean if he's such a bad guy, why are you all still friends with him."

She sighed and sat down on her bed across from me. "He is definitely not my most favorite person, for sure, but he and Finn have been friends since preschool."

She stopped looking out the window for a moment but went on. "Two years ago Mercedes and everyone convinced me to go out with him. We were all going out to dinner and I was the only one without a date so they fixed me up. Anyway it went much like tonight, he got really drunk and tried to come on to me. I told him that I wasn't interested but he didn't listen; he'd never really had a girl say no to him before."

"He tried to kiss me and I pushed him away, but like tonight he was so drunk he thought I was just playing hard to get. I'd finally had enough when he tried unbuttoning the back of my dress and I kind of…well, I broke his nose."

My mouth fell open in shock. "You broke his nose!" I said but I felt myself starting to smile, wishing I could have been there.

"Yeah…that's one of the reasons I got so upset tonight. He's lucky I didn't break his nose again… I wanted to." She grunted in frustration. "He just doesn't believe that I'm not in love with him like every other girl meets. After two years of constantly having to turn him down I'm just fed up!"

"Well if it makes you feel any better, if he ever tries that again, I'll break his nose for you." She smiled and we laughed at the thought.

"Well I'm beat." she slid carefully under the covers, pulling the blankets up around her shoulders. "Night" she yawned and closed her eyes.

"Good night Santana"

**I know it was a little short but I think with 4 chapters in 2 days you guys have to be happy. **

**I'll get the next one out soon! More fun is coming!**

Brittana100 **Absolutely! I hope that the confrontation was to your liking. I'd already had the thought to put one in but your request made the decision for me. I'm happy you are liking the story**

Gleeeeeeeeek89 **Haha yes, Puck can be an ass.**

AsianLovePandaSIU** I super duper loved that review! Lame? Please! that's the best one I've ever gotten lol Also big thanks for all the favorites and alerts! Talk about being my most dedicated reader **

Lileyfan1415** Glad you liked the party!**

Misguidedshost1998** I know they didn't hook up in the hayrides but I hope this was enough..for now. Don't worry you'll get to see some Brittana at some point.**

Ai Shiteru Soul** You are welcome for the mention and I am glad I surprised you! I don't want my story to be predictable. **

PazuzuGodking** I liked the idea of Santana breaking his nose so I incorporated it into the story lol hope you don't mind **


	11. Count me in!

**Enjoy!**

I hurried down the hallway dodging girls as they sprinted off to into their classrooms.

Worried about being late I looked down at the watch strapped to my hand, checking the time, as I continued in the direction of my French class.

A week had passed since the very eventful Halloween party and everything had relatively returned to normal. The only exception being that the previous Halloween decorations had been removed and replaced with turkeys and Pilgrims to celebrate the upcoming holiday.

My friends were already discussing what they were going to do during the break. Since Thanksgiving always fell on the 4th Thursday of November the school would release the students on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving and anyone who left to go home was expected to return the next Monday to resume normal classes.

I'd been told that any student who chose to could stay on campus during the break, and since I had no desire to return home and make awkward conversations with my step father it seemed like I'd be spending this Holiday alone.

I looked down at my watch once more, taking my eyes from the path in front of me. I turned the corner to go down the next hallway and crashed into something hard, the impact of which sent me straight to the floor.

As I fell backward I heard someone, the person I'd bumped into I assumed, grunt in surprise as all the papers they'd been holding flew up into the air.

I quickly recovered from the shock of the fall and scrambled to pick up the papers as they rained down from above me.

"I'm so sorry!" I yelled cursing myself for being so careless.

I moved around on my knees trying to collect all the papers now sprayed out across the floor when the person above me cleared their throat loudly trying to gain my attention. "Miss Pierce" He said and I recognized his voice immediately.

I didn't look up right away. I was afraid of what he might say, and if only for a few seconds, I hoped to delay the lecture I was sure I was about to receive.

He didn't say another word, he only reached down, palm up, offering me his hand.

I knew it'd be rude to ignore him so I took his hand and let him help me off the floor. "I'm so sorry Headmaster; I wasn't looking where I was going. I promise I'll pay closer attention from now on."

He held up his hand to stop my apology from continuing, "It's alright, I was just looking for you actually."

"Oh" I said in surprise; instantly the possibilities of why he might be searching for me flooded my mind.

He leaned forward to begin picking up the papers I'd knocked from his hands and I quickly kneeled down to help.

As I gathered up the loose leafs of paper I offered up another apology.

"Honestly, it's fine." He said again, but his voice showed the irritation he, for some reason, refused to voice.

His hands were much faster than mine and it was not long before we had gathered up all the papers. I rose and picked my backpack from the floor, throwing the strap over my shoulder. He took the small stack I held and shuffled them among his, tapping on the sides trying to get the edges to even out.

"Brittany, I was looking for you because I wanted to let you know I talked to you step father," He paused tucking the now organized papers under his arm and looked me dead in the eye. "and he and I both agree that considering what you've been through this past summer you would benefit greatly from some one on one counseling."

I don't know what I had been expecting but that hadn't been it.

He held my gaze as he spoke, waiting for my objection. As I stared into his dark eyes it struck me for the first time how similar they were to his daughter's. They were the same shape and color; a deep brown that I'd come to know well. However, where Santana's eyes where caring and sometimes cautious, his were domineering and cold.

"I've already talked to Miss Pillsbury and told her to expect you as soon as classes let out on Wednesday."

While he continued the dread of what he was saying started to sink in. I was not the type of person to talk about my feelings. I liked to deal with them on my own, privately. However it was clear I had no choice in this; he had spoken with my step father, my legal guardian, and gotten his approval. That was all he needed.

"Alright" I agreed; what else could I do.

"Fantastic" he smiled looking down at his watch, "Well you best get to class, don't want to be tardy."

I nodded, needing no more encouragement, and rushed away quickly. I don't know what it was about him, maybe that he was so large that I felt like a small child having to bend my head so far backwards to look up at him, but he made me feel uneasy. It's as if he was constantly looking for a reason to judge me, I didn't get the feeling that he liked me all that much.

The bell rang loudly throughout the halls as I ran toward my classroom; I could see the door I sought as I rounded the next corner and picked up my pace. I stumbled into the room a few seconds after the bell stopped ringing, apologizing to my teacher for being late, and went to sit beside Quinn.

The woman gave me a frown but decided to let my hasty arrival slide and turned to address the class.

"Hey!" I whispered to Quinn before pulling my French book from my bag.

"Hey, cutting it close." She teased quietly before looking back up toward the front of the room.

The teacher instructed us all to divide into pairs and go over today's list of verbs. Quinn and I, knowing we would partner together, turned to face each other as the rest of the kids found partners.

"So why were you so late?" Quinn asked looking from the page number written on the board to her French book, trying to find the right one.

"Oh" I sighed remembering my conversation with the Santana's father. "The Headmaster caught up with me in the hall on my way here. He told me that starting tomorrow I will be required to attend once a week counseling secessions with Miss Pillsbury."

Quinn tilted her head in confusion. "I've never heard of him asking anyone to do that before. Did he say why?"

As soon as she asked the question I wished that I'd told her about my mom sooner. I don't know why I hadn't; I guess it's not something you can easily bring up in every day conversation. I had to tell her eventually though and now seemed as good a time as any.

"Yeah he did." She noticed the change in my voice and looked up from her book. "You see…right before this year started, this summer, my mom died."

Her eyebrows rose in surprise; everyone was always surprised. She remained quiet for a few moments gauging my mood, I guessed.

"What happened?" The way she said those two words told me that she wasn't entirely sure she had a right to ask.

"She just got really sick, and her body couldn't take it anymore." I said simply. To me it didn't matter so much how'd died; she wasn't here, that's what hurt.

"I'm sorry"

"Yeah, me too" We were both quiet for a few moments and then I remembered the reason I'd mentioned her in the first place. "That's why I have to go counseling with Miss Pillsbury."

"Oh" she nodded finally understanding. "I'm sorry I brought it up, I didn't know."

"I know you didn't and it's okay really." She didn't look convinced by my reassurance. "Really" I pressed; I didn't want her to feel bad.

"Does anyone else know?"

"Santana knows, but that's it."

I could tell she was struggling with the right words to say. She'd turned her eyes back down toward her book and was subtly picking at the corners. "Well, I don't know if you want my help but if you ever need anyone to talk to I'm always around." She said looking back up at me.

That made me smile. "Thanks. I will." Now that Quinn knew I suddenly felt closer to her. Of course, after confiding in someone something so private and painful it only made sense.

Quinn and I walked together toward the dining hall after 3rd period, headed off to lunch. As we reached the doors I looked toward our usual table and saw Santana and Rachel already sitting down.

Santana was talking to Rachel and I was instantly caught up in that smile of hers. The feelings I'd had a week ago still hadn't gone away, and I found myself always searching the halls for her face. Every time I saw her I got butterflies in my stomach and they were only getting worse.

I walked with Quinn toward the line of food and noticed her starting at Rachel. "Oh!" she said surprising me, "I forgot I have a favor to ask you…"

"Anything"

She laughed. "Okay but you can't say anything to Rachel! Promise!"

"Promise!"

"Alight, so next week is our anniversary and I want to do something special. I was thinking that during Glee Club next week I would sing to her." She paused and looked my way. "What do you think?"

I was unable to stop the smile that spread across my face. The way she'd asked the question told me how special she wanted this to be, and more than confirmed the love I knew she had for the girl. If I'm to be honest with myself, I was a little jealous.

I thought about Santana and how much I wished she loved me the way Quinn loved Rachel. But, I just have to surrender to the fact that it would probably never happen.

"Honestly, that is incredibly romantic and I think she is going to love it!" Quinn heard the excitement in my voice and began grinning from ear to ear. "What are you going to sing?"

"I have no idea." She said seriously and then laughed. "That's what I need your help with. I've already told Santana, Mercedes, and Tina and they are coming up with ideas. I just want it to be perfect!"

"Don't worry she loves you so much I don't think it would matter what you sing, but count me in!"

"Great!"

We picked up our now filled trays and made our way through the cafeteria toward our friends. "Remember, it's a surprise!"

**Hope everyone liked this chapter! New one out soon! Anything anyone wants to see happen? Let me know and if I can I will slip it in there **

Gleeeeeeeeeek89 **Haha I know a straight girl crush = bad but don't worry just gotta be patient ;)**

Lileyfan1415** Hope you liked it! And stay tuned to see what happens next! **

PazuzuGodking** haha I am glad you liked that I used your suggestion! Thanks for giving me the option and it fit right in! I hope you liked this chapter **

Ai Shiteru Soul** Yeah I like the non straight relationships a lot better! So I hope you are liking the bit of Faberry you are getting in the mean time. I will update again soon!**

Ifeelfantastic** haha its not sorcery it's all of the great review I keep getting that keep me so darn motivated! Also and laughing so hard right now reading your review! Hope he wakes up with a hangover lol I'm sure he did ;)**


	12. Just listen

Santana and I sat close together at one of the many tables placed throughout the library. Santana had her laptop open in front of her and we were searching the internet for a song that Quinn could sing to Rachel.

"What about this one?" Santana asked pointing at one of the songs on the extremely long list we were looking through.

"No…" I dismissed her choice with a flick of the hand. "That's not right."

"Uh! I doubt we'll ever find the right one! We've been looking at this list for over half an hour."

I grunted understanding her frustration; this was a lot harder than I'd previously thought.

"Let's take a break for now then," I said shutting her computer and leaning back in my chair. I rubbed my middle fingers in circles over my temples trying to push away the headache I'd gotten from staring at the computer screen for so long.

"Good idea." Santana agreed and packed her laptop away in her bag. "Do you maybe wanna come back to this tomorrow after school?"

"Uh I can't. I have to go see Miss Pillsbury after school, my step dad wants me to go to once a week counseling secessions to talk about my mom." I rolled my eyes getting annoyed even as I spoke the words.

"Oh," she said surprised.

"Yeah your dad found me in the hall before 3rd period and told me." At the mention of her dad Santana went quiet. "Did I say something wrong?" I asked unsure.

"No, I just hate that my dad, he's everywhere. Whether it's at school or at home I feel like he's always watching me, judging my every move. I just wish I had a place I could go to get away from him."

Her confession made me frown. "Maybe one weekend we can go to my place. I don't live that far away and my step dad's never home so we wouldn't be bothered by anyone." As I said the words I realized what that would mean. I would be spending every second of the day, alone, with Santana. I suddenly felt the butterflies again.

"I wish I could but there's no way my dad would let me. He doesn't like me leaving the school on weekends, thinks I should be using that time to study."

"That sucks." I commented. "Are you going home this Thanksgiving?" I asked thinking it was better just to change the subject.

"Yeah I have to; a bunch of my family always comes over and we make a big meal."

"Oh sounds fun."

"What about you?"

I shrugged my shoulders, "Nothing, I'm probably just going to stay here."

"You're not going back home to see your step dad?"

I shook my head. "No he's going to be away for business and I just don't feel like making the trip to spend a few days at the house alone."

"I'd rather be here where the meals are made for me." I added and she laughed.

"Makes sense…I'd invite you to come it's just my dad say's Thanksgiving is a time to spend with your family."

"It's alright I understand."

We both took that moment to look at the clock and saw that the class was almost over.

I began packing up my last few things; as I was pushing my notebook into the bag I heard Santana whisper from the chair next to me. "I really wish you could come."

I didn't respond. She'd been so quiet that I wasn't sure if she had meant for me to hear her. I knew that if she had been talking to me she would probably say something when I didn't respond; but she didn't.

I felt myself start to smile. As cheesy as it sounds I was happy that she wanted me to come along. I wished just like her that I could. Even if our reasons why were slightly different.

We left the library after the bell rang and both headed off to our next class. "See you after school" I said and walked away.

I stood outside Miss Pillsbury's closed office door. I had come here right after classes ended just as the Headmaster had instructed but I hadn't been able to go in.

I kept thinking about my mom and the things Miss Pillsbury would try to talk to me about and I felt scared; I felt scared at being so emotionally exposed.

I knew that no matter what I would have to suck it up and go in at some point so I just pushed aside my fears and entered the office.

Miss Pillsbury sat behind her desk as usual and as she saw me walk in she smiled.

"Hi Brittany" she smiled. "Nice to see you, please sit down." She motioned me toward the chair on her right. "So to start why don't you tell me why you think you're here?"

I sat down and looked out the window. "I guess the main reason is because of my mom." I said rather obviously.

"I would first like to say that I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you must be feeling."

"Yeah…"

"How are you doing Brittany?" She went on. "I know you've had a lot to deal with these past few months. With your mother's passing and then to move to a completely new school on top of it all must have been hard."

"It wasn't too hard adjusting to the new school; I've already made some great friends."

She grinned, "That's wonderful to hear. Have you told any of them about your mother?"

I nodded.

"I'm happy you've found some people that you can open up to."

"So, tell me about your friends."

I really didn't want to be here right now. I wish everyone would just leave me alone to work through this on my own. But I was stuck. I figured as long as we were talking about my friends I would answer her questions.

"How about you tell me their names first" She offered.

"Well there's Quinn, Rachel, Mercedes, Tina, and my roommate Santana."

She nodded recognizing the names. "Who would you say you're closest to?"

I barley needed to think about it. "Quinn and Santana"

"Am I correct to assume Santana and Quinn are the ones you've talked about your mom with?"

"Yes" I answered.

"Tell me why you think out of all your friends you chose them to open up to."

I shrugged trying to find the right words. "With Quinn, I don't know if it was anything specific it's just a feeling I got. She's such a sweet person and I just knew that I could trust her."

"And Santana?" she urged me on.

"Santana just let me in the second she met me. She accepted me as a roommate and a friend."

I stopped unsure if I wanted to tell her about the time Santana had comforted me after the dream I'd had about my mom. As I thought about it more I figured that maybe if I opened up just enough in this one secession I could convince them all that I didn't need therapy. I decided in the end just to tell her.

"Santana, one night, woke me up from a dream I'd been having; I had dreamt about my mom. I dreamt that she wasn't dead that she was alive and I was…crying. She woke me up and helped me calm down. No one other than my mom had ever held me like that as I cried." I realized as I told her the story my eyes started to well up at remembering the painful dream.

I stopped talking and turned to look out the window again, taking a deep breath, trying to stop my tears.

Miss Pillsbury stayed quiet, waiting to see if I would say anything more and when I didn't she spoke, "Would you mind doing something for me?"

I was a bit surprised at her sudden question, "What?"

"During the following week, before our next secession, I would like you to choose someone in your life that you think you think you can talk to and tell them something you wouldn't normally tell others. Try to pick something that makes you feel vulnerable; something that requires a bit of a risk to reveal."

I didn't like the sound of this at all.

"Do you think you can do that?" she added seeing how uncomfortable I was becoming.

My stomach twisted as my biggest secret came to the forefront of my mind; the thought of telling someone I was a lesbian terrified me. I tried to calm my nerves as I assured myself that I didn't have to confess to that. I would think of something else to say. "I…I guess." I knew this wasn't something I could get out of.

"Good. I think that's all for today." She said standing up and walking around her desk.

I was surprised and happy to have our talk end so soon. I reached for my bag and moved out of the chair eager to leave.

"See you next Wednesday."

I sighed, my hopes of escaping these weekly secessions dissipated. "Next Wednesday" I agreed and left the office.

I walked up to my room trying not to worry about what Miss Pillsbury had asked me to do. I quickly put it out of my mind to worry about later.

Santana was lying across her bed with her laptop out in front of her typing away at the keyboard when I came in.

She sat up as I lay back against my bed folding my arms underneath my head.

"How did it go?"

"It went ok…"

"Do you wanna talk about it?" It felt good to know that she cared enough to ask but at that moment I wasn't really in the mood.

"Not right now, I'll tell you about it later."

"Okay," she agreed without any further discussion and moved on. "Quinn wanted me to tell you she thinks she found the song she's gonna sing to Rachel next week."

"What song?"

"Didn't say which one but she said she wanted to come over and show us as soon as you got back."

I picked up my phone and sent Quinn a text telling her I was back at the room.

She replied quickly letting me know she was on her way over. "She's coming." I told Santana and knowing how short the trip was from her room to ours we just sat, looking toward the door, and waited.

Quinn came rushing in, laptop in hand, and went to sit on the end of Santana's bed.

She flipped the screen open and moved her fingers over the mouse pad, "I think this is the one you guys." She stated proudly.

"What song is it?" Santana asked Quinn.

"Just listen…"

She had it ready to go and with one click of the button the song started.

I listened as the soft sounds of a guitar started the song. The man began singing and as I listened to his words I thought about the meanings hidden within them.

The man delicately sang to his love; promising to give her every bit of himself.

I noticed how well the words fit; perfectly describing the way I knew Quinn and Rachel felt about each other.

When to song ended Quinn spoke, "So…what do you think?"

"I think it's perfect." I told her and she smiled.

"Me too," Santana agreed. "I can't wait for her to hear it!"

**That's all for this chapter everyone let me know what you guys think!**

**Thank you to those who favorited the story! I'm so happy you are enjoying it!**

Epomime** I am so happy that you like my faberry! Lol and that you liked that Halloween party! I will have more out soon! Hope you liked this chapter!**

Ai Shiteru Soul **Haha ya I know I'm taking my time! haha They can't just rush into it but don't worry I will get them there as soon as its right. **

Lileyfan1415** Quinn will sing the song to Rachel alone but they tried helping Quinn lol she just found the perfect song before they did. And I like your suggestion, may have been already thinking about that but thanks, you will probably at some point see that ;)**

PazuzuGodking** I'm glad you liked it enough to review twice! **


	13. Tracing the lines in my skin

**Hope everyone likes this! Enjoy the new Glee tonight!**

Santana and I stood outside the room we usually used for Glee Club meetings. Mercedes and Tina had wanted a bunch of the guys to come over to hang out with us for our regular Friday movie night. The two clearly just wanted an excuse to hang out with their boyfriends but we'd all wanted it.

I hadn't thought the school would allow it but Mercedes asked Miss Pillsbury and, after talking it over with the headmaster they'd agreed. As long as we used one of the school's rooms and no boys went up to the second floor, they would allow it.

They had also decided that Miss Pillsbury would check on us every now and then throughout the night to make sure we were behaving.

We all agreed to their terms.

We needed tonight; this week had been kind of tough homework wise and everyone was excited to finally get some downtime.

"Hey!" Quinn said as Santana and I walked into the room.

"Hey"

"Hey Mercedes...Sam" Sam and Mercedes sat cuddled up on the floor below Rachel's feet. Rachel had herself nuzzled into Quinn side and they were coved in a big blanket. I noticed Mike and Tina sitting together on the floor by the coffee table eating some popcorn out of one of the many large bowls.

"Hi Brittany" Finn called from across the room where he sat on the couch next to Kurt and Blaine. The couple waved hello to us and then immediately went back to their whispered discussion.

"Hey Finn"

"Come on let's sit over here" Santana looked at me and pointed to the empty space on the couch by Quinn and Rachel.

Happy to avoid talking to Finn I followed her over and sat down.

Santana picked up the spare blanket folded over the back of the couch and threw it over herself. "Want some?"

I nodded. She pushed the excess blanket over me; I felt my heart speed up as her hands brushed against my legs.

"Thanks" I smiled not able to keep it in and looked away, I hoped I wasn't blushing.

Sam jumped up and went over to the TV. "Now that everyone's here we can start the movie."

"What is it?" Kurt asked his tone unsure.

"Don't worry Kurt, Mike and I picked a good one."

"We'll see."

Sam shook his head at Kurt and held up the movie. "It's Back to the Future" he stated flatly.

"Oh! Good choice!" Rachel grinned.

"Yeah well Mike and I have been watching a lot of older movies lately and this was the next one on our list. We figured it'd be a movie everyone would like."

I hadn't seen that movie in a few years. I remember I was around thirteen when I first saw it and I'd loved the idea of going back in time.

"Okay I'm sorry, I was wrong." Kurt apologized snuggling closer to Blaine.

"Thank you." Sam put the movie in and on his way back to Mercedes grabbed one of the bowls of popcorn setting it in his lap for them to eat.

As the movie started I noticed out of the corner of my eye Finn occasionally looking over at me and then back to the video.

I felt a little uncomfortable knowing he was watching me so I scooted down and propped my feet up on the coffee table. I used the pillow that lay below me on the floor to put between my head and the arm of the couch; blocking myself from Finn's gaze completely.

I glanced over at Santana who sat quietly watching the movie beside me. I couldn't stop the smile that crept up on my face. She was so breathtakingly gorgeous that I found myself watching her instead of the movie.

I occasionally looked away but my eyes always seemed to move back to her.

Halfway through the movie we all heard a small knock on the door and turned as Miss Pillsbury entered. "Hello everyone, just checking in" She walked further into the room and took a hard look at all of us, especially the boys.

"We're doing fine Miss Pillsbury; we're all here, no ones left." Rachel assured her.

She nodded, walking around the room and then back to the door. "Alright, I'll be back later to lock up the room. Make sure they leave after the movie…" Miss Pillsbury added looking at Tina and Mercedes.

"We will" they both answered, and with a slight nod she left.

I turned my attention back to the movie whenl I felt Santana nudge me in the side with her elbow.

She leaned down, whispering so no one would hear her over the sound of the movie, "Finn keeps staring at you." The look of distaste on her face when she said his name almost made me laugh out loud.

"Why do you think I'm down here!"

She laughed and scooted down so she was at the same level as me. "It's kinda creepy."

Santana lifted her head and took another peek at Finn. "What is his deal? After that disaster of a set up on Halloween what makes him think you'd ever want to go out with him again."

"That I can't tell ya."

I couldn't help noticing the proximity of her face to mine. It would be nothing to lean over and kiss her right now, of course I would never do that, but I enjoyed the thought.

She grabbed the pillow that sat between her and Quinn, "You mind?" she asked placing the pillow between us, up against my shoulder.

"No" I said quickly shaking my head. My nerves at having her so close roared up again.

She maneuvered the pillow into the right place and leaned against it. I felt the weight of her head against my shoulder.

I looked over the top of Santana's head and watched Quinn and Rachel as they watched the movie.

Rachel sat with Quinn's arm around her; both wrapped in a blanket, Quinn absently playing with Rachel's hair. They looked so much in love it made my heart ache.

I tuned my eyes back down and looked at the top of Santana's head resting on my shoulder.

I wished I could hold her the way Quinn held Rachel.

I wanted someone who I could love and trust and confide in.

I internally shrugged away my feelings. They weren't doing me any good; I knew the reality of the situation.

As if she heard the thoughts running through my mind Santana reached out and placed her hand over mine; I realized then I'd been tapping my hand up and down in silent frustration.

I felt a shock as her skin touched mine.

I thought, having stopped my incessant tapping, she'd move her hand away and resume watching the movie, but she didn't.

She pulled my hand into her lap and placed it between her own. It was as if there was nothing else in the room but her. I could no longer focus on the movie. I watched as she moved her index finger over my hand, tracing the lines in my skin.

I knew I was grinning like a mad woman but I couldn't help myself. I fought the thoughts forcing themselves into my mind. What was she doing? Did this mean anything?

I felt sad because I knew the answer was that it didn't mean anything. We were just friends. She didn't like me that way. She was just being friendly.

In fact, I should probably take it as a compliment. We'd gotten quite close over the time I'd been here and she'd just become incredibly comfortable with me.

But it was still nice.

I watched our hands for a while as she softly traced my hand, tickling the skin. She stopped suddenly and laced her fingers through mine.

I marveled at how perfect my hand felt wrapped around her smaller one.

I'd never held hands with a girl before, and even though it didn't mean anything it was a comforting feeling.

I don't know how long we sat there like that, hands linked, but before I knew it the credits were rolling.

Tina got up from the floor where she'd been lying with Mike, and flicked on the lights.

Santana released my hand and sat up, stretching her arms above her head. I moved my legs, which had become stiff from staying in one position for too long and stood up, making sure not to look in Finn's direction.

Sam stood, and offered Mercedes his hand to help her off the floor. "Well we better get back to school before that woman come back." He said looking around at the other guys.

"Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if she was waiting outside the door." Mercedes laughed and wrapped her arm around Sam, hugging his side.

Mike retrieved the DVD and stuck it in his bag. He kissed Tina and put his arm around her shoulder as they walked to the door.

I grabbed the blanket Santana and I had been using and folded it quickly, throwing it over the couch and tossed our pillows over in the corner of the room.

"Bye Brittany!" Kurt came up and gave me a hug. "We should all hang out again!" He suggested, gesturing to Santana and I. "Blaine and I had a lot of fun with you two at the Halloween party! We should all go out to lunch sometime."

"Sounds good!" Santana answered giving Kurt and Blaine each a hug.

"Goodbye ladies!" Blaine said as he and Kurt buttoned up their coats and headed for the door.

I waved to them and noticed Finn standing near the other couch.

He was looking directly at me.

"Bye Sam!" Quinn hugged him and told Mercedes she'd meet her at the room. The couple said goodnight to Santana and I then they too left.

Rachel moved picking up a couple bowls and taking them over to dump in the trash.

"Hey Brittany!" Finn almost shouted finally mustering up the courage and walked over to me. "Can I talk to you?"

"Uhh sure" He motioned to the door and I reluctantly followed.

"Brittany, we'll clean this up okay, just meet me back up at the room when you're done." I nodded to Santana and followed Finn out of the room.

The walk to the front door was silent. I didn't speak; I didn't have anything to say.

He stopped and stood there quietly when we reached the entrance to the school.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry." He spat out. "You know for everything. I'm sorry what happened with Puck and that I had to leave our date early, I really wanted to stay."

"It's okay."

"No, it's not, I know how he is. I should have known he'd pull something like that."

"Whatever it's over; I don't really care about it anymore."

He smiled, "Well good! I just wanted you to know I was sorry."

"Ok" I went to turn and leave, thinking our conversation was over, but he grabbed my arm to stop me.

"Wait! I wanted to know if maybe… maybe you'd wanna try again? Just us this time…"

"I don't think so."

"I promise it'll be fun!" He offered hopefully.

"No. I'm sorry, I like you but I don't like you, like you."

"Oh" His face fell and he look down.

"I'll be your friend, but that's all."

He put on a nice smile, "Alright. Well goodnight Brittany."

He waved goodbye and I could tell by the way he hurried away that I'd embarrassed him. I knew how much courage it took to ask someone out and while it was flattering, he had to know that it wasn't going to happen.

I sighed and turned away from the door, making my way to the stairs, and up to my room.

Santana was there, tucked in her bed waiting for me and as soon as I opened the door, "What did Finn want?"

There was a hint of something in her voice as she asked the question but I couldn't tell what. "He asked me out actually…"

I quickly changed out of my clothes and into my pajama's.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, I was honest with him, maybe too honest, but it's all for the best. I don't want him to get his hopes up about something that will never happen."

I saw the side of her mouth turn up into a smile as I spoke. "Well good. He doesn't deserve you."

I laughed and got into bed. I laid down facing her, "Hopefully he'll be happy just being my friend."

I yawned only now realizing how tired I was, "Goodnight Santana."

"Night Brittany."

**There you all go! I hoped you liked it! Next chapter will be Rachel and Quinn's anniversary! So stay tuned!**

Youmeandmusic **I'm really happy you like it! I'm glad it's not clique! I wanted it to be different so thanks for reading and keep letting me know what you think! I love hearing it!**

PazuzuGodking** I know it looks short but that's like 6 pages on word lol but I will try to write more frequently so you won't notice the length **

Ai Shiteru Soul** I hope you are liking how its progressing! Brittana is on the way! **


	14. I really hoped

**I hope you all like this! The song is 'I won't give up by Jason Mraz' (I recommend you listen to is as you read, it's just better! Lol)**

_Beeeeep! Beeeeep!_

My eyes shot open as I was startled awake by my alarm clock.

"Uh! Shut up!" I slammed my hand down on the clock extinguishing the sound.

I pried open my sleep filled eyes and peeked at the time; it was 3:25.

I heard Santana begin to stir, "Morning." I pushed myself up and set my feet on the ground, rubbing my eyes with my fists.

"I hate Quinn." Santana grunted from the other side of the darkness.

I reached over to my bedside table and turned on the light. "Yeah me too, but we promised we'd help…"

"I know!" she huffed.

Santana got out of bed and went to the door, unhooking her favorite sweater and threw it on. "We better get over there; I bet she's already hard at work."

I nodded in agreement and grabbed a sweater as I followed her out the door.

We moved quietly down the hallway to Quinn's room. She'd asked us to meet her in her room at 3:30 this morning to help her with something for her and Rachel's anniversary.

As we approached Quinn's room the smell of coffee hit my nose and I saw light flooding out from under Quinn's door.

Santana moved ahead of me and lightly tapped the door with her fist before pushing it open.

"Morning" She said as I entered in behind her.

My mouth dropped open in surprise as I saw the room. It was almost completely covered with red and pink balloons.

Quinn sat on top of her bed with a pile of red balloons in front of her with one semi-inflated balloon pinched between her fingers. She smiled and looked up as we walked in. "Hey Brittany, Santana! Thanks for coming to help!"

"Of course! Happy Anniversary!" I congratulated her and went over to sit next to her on the bed.

Mercedes was there as well, sitting among a pile of pink balloons. "Here!" she said as she tossed Santana a handful. "Blow these up."

Santana picked one up and brought it to her lips, "Yes, Happy Anniversary Quinn. But I hate you for making me get up so early."

Quinn just laughed at Santana's sour mood and jumped off the bed to grab her a cup of coffee.

"I know, but I really appreciate it." Quinn gave Santana a huge smile.

I grabbed a red balloon from Quinn's pile and began blowing it up. "So what are we doing with all these?"

Quinn walked over and handed Santana the cup of coffee. "Well, after we have all these blown up, we'll take them over to Rachel's room and put them all over the floor. Then I have this huge card that I'm gonna set on her desk with these roses," She pointed out the card and roses as she laid out the plan. "I want her to wake up in the morning and be surprised!"

I nearly sighed as I listened to her plans. Everything was so sweet and I was happy that I could help make this day special for the two of them.

"Then afterschool today we'll meet in the choir room for Glee Club practice and, with the help of Santana, I'll sing her the song. What do you think?" She looked around the room at all of us.

"She is going to die!" Mercedes assured her as she tossed another inflated balloon down with the rest.

"Good." Quinn smiled and walked back over to the bed picking up another balloon.

It took us a while to blow up all the balloons but once we had we loaded them all up into trash bags and carried them to Rachel's room.

Quinn had told Tina about her plan and she was waiting for us outside the door when we approached. "She's out cold!" Tina whispered motioning to the door. "She's a heavy sleeper, so as long as we're all really quiet we shouldn't have a problem."

Quinn nodded and passed her bags of balloons to Tina, "I'm gonna go grab the flowers and the card I'll be right back. You guys just start emptying out the balloons."

As Quinn rushed away we all quietly entered the room. I looked at Rachel who was wrapped in her comforter, sound asleep, and went around to her left side to begin placing out the balloons.

We worked quickly and quietly emptying out the garbage bags.

Quinn came back with the card and flowers and starting making room for them on Rachel's desk.

I watched how carefully Quinn placed the flowers, moving each one around to make it look perfect. She smiled as she read over the inscription inside the card; I hadn't read it but I could imagine the thought she'd put into choosing each word.

I took the opportunity to glance over at Santana. She was moving the balloons around trying to space them evenly throughout the room, even having just crawled out of bed she looked amazing; I don't think she could look bad even if she tried.

Santana glanced up from her work and caught my eye. I smiled quickly and then looked away a bit embarrassed; I had to get a handle on my leering.

"I think we're all done!" Quinn whispered happily to all of us. We moved to the door carefully stepping around the balloons.

"Thanks again for all of your help!" She said when we were out in the hall.

"You're welcome." Santana reached out and hugged Quinn as she started to yawn. "She's gonna love it!"

Tina stood by the door to her room, "She will. But I'm going back to bed so I'll see you in a few hours." she smiled and then disappeared back into her room.

"Good idea." I sighed, my eyes starting to get heavy. "Goodnight."

When I'd gotten to History class later that morning Rachel couldn't stop gushing about her surprise. She'd brought one of the roses with her to class and never gave up the opportunity to share with anyone who would listen.

She'd wore a beautiful silver bracelet that Quinn had given her before breakfast. The bracelet showed off a few charms dangling down her wrist; a star, the letter R, the letter Q, and the word forever.

Rachel was so over the moon about her morning surprise and the bracelet that she hadn't suspected anything else.

After 6th period ended I headed over to the Glee Club meeting.

As I walked in I saw one of the chairs had been moved to the middle of the room and was facing toward a mic stand.

Most of the girls were already sitting on the couches off to the side. I saw Santana and Mercedes wave me over.

"Hi!" I squealed as I sat between them. I had known about this over a week now and the suspense was killing me.

"Hey!" Santana smiled at me and then looked back toward the door as we waited for Rachel.

Quinn walked in holding hands with Rachel and they both came to sit beside us. Rachel looked around at the mic and chair with a frown. "What's going on?"

"I'm not sure." Santana said doing her best to look oblivious.

After the last person filed in Mercedes got up and stood in front of the group.

"First I wanted to say to Quinn and Rachel, Happy Anniversary! We all love you two so much and we've watched you grow as a couple and seen your love for each other mature into something so strong and beautiful." She paused and nodded at Santana who followed her silent queue.

She went and grabbed the guitar that lay by the mic stand and strapped it over her shoulder testing the strings.

"Rachel, Quinn has something she'd like to say." Rachel looked at Quinn with surprise.

Quinn took Rachel's hand and pulled her over to the chair in the middle of the room.

"Just listen to this song, okay. It says everything."

Quinn looked over her shoulder and nodded at Santana who started strumming the first notes of the song. "I love you." Quinn whispered to Rachel as she moved back behind the mic.

_When I look into your eyes  
>It's like watching the night sky<br>Or a beautiful sunrise  
>There's so much they hold<em>

I looked away from Quinn and watched Rachel's face as she listened to the song.

_And just like them old stars  
>I see that you've come so far<br>To be right where you are  
>How old is your soul?<em>

_I won't give up on us  
>Even if the skies get rough<br>I'm giving you all my love  
>I'm still looking up<em>

I saw the meaning of those words in Rachel's eyes and she absorbed every syllable.

I turned away from the couple and watched Santana as she moved her hand across the cords. I'd never seen her play the guitar before but as she played the notes I saw her whole body loosen; it was as if this huge weight was gone. She moved her lips, silently singing the song along with Quinn. __

_And when you're needing your space  
>To do some navigating<br>I'll be here patiently waiting  
>To see what you find<em>

Rachel giggled as Quinn sang; they shared a look, acknowledging some private joke between the two of them.

_'Cause even the stars they burn  
>Some even fall to the earth<br>We've got a lot to learn  
>God knows we're worth it<br>No, I won't give up_

Quinn took the mic off the stand and went to stand in front of Rachel. She grabbed her hand and held it tightly as she continued. __

_I don't wanna be someone who walks away so easily  
>I'm here to stay and make the difference that I can make<br>Our differences they do a lot to teach us how to use  
>The tools and gifts we got yeah, we got a lot at stake<br>And in the end, you're still my friend at least we did intend  
>For us to work we didn't break, we didn't burn<br>We had to learn how to bend without the world caving in  
>I had to learn what I've got, and what I'm not<br>And who I am_

With each word I realized Quinn was making Rachel a promise. She was promising to always be there no matter what happened. I felt tears starting to form as I realized their magnitude.__

_I won't give up on us  
>Even if the skies get rough<br>I'm giving you all my love  
>I'm still looking up<br>Still looking up._

Santana sang beautifully behind her guitar as she echoed Quinn's words.__

_I won't give up on us (no I'm not giving up)  
>God knows I'm tough enough (I am tough, I am loved)<br>We've got a lot to learn (we're alive, we are loved)  
>God knows we're worth it (and we're worth it)<em>

When the verse ended Santana stopped playing, letting Quinn sing the last part of the song acapella. __

_I won't give up on us  
>Even if the skies get rough<br>I'm giving you all my love  
>I'm still looking up<em>

After she finished she pulled Rachel up by the hand, the one she'd held onto the entire last part of the performance, and pulled her into a hug. "I love you Rachel Berry."

Both girls grinned wildly as they pulled back and Rachel, not willing to wait another minute, leaned in to kiss her girlfriend.

I felt the need to give the two some privacy so I looked at Santana instead.

She stood watching the couple and I noticed the love she had for the girls was written all over her face.

I knew how she felt.

Since coming to this school these girls had become my family. Not only that but I saw everything I admired and wanted in them. I looked at Rachel and Quinn as sort of role models and I hoped one day I'd have the type of relationship they had.

I really hoped.

Ai Shiteru Soul** I agree! They are on their way! I'm happy you like it so far **

Dogsrock7699** I haven't seen your name before so I wanted to say Hi! And thanks for deciding to not only read my story but review! They are so appreciated! I'm glad you like the story and stay tuned for more! **

xxxPLLforeverxxx** They are cute huh! I love brittana **

PazuzuGodking** I don't think, no matter how long, it would please you lol ;) This was a bit longer so I hope this helped!**

Eponime ** I'm happy you like it! And I hope you liked this!**

Teshasan** You are so nice! I'm glad you read and decided to review! Thanks for the compliment and I hope you like this!**

Ifeelfantastic** Once again your review just lit up my day! Seriously what I needed! Your review was what pushed me to write today I'm happy you like the pace and hope you enjoyed the anniversary! **


	15. Just waiting for the day it would break

**Sorry to all for how long this has taken to get out! Long story short last week I packed up and moved to San Francisco! So I have been so busy moving and finding work and an apartment that I haven't been able to write. But that should all change now! More writing on the way! Enjoy!**

Brittany sat on her bed, magazine in hand, as she waited for the chaos to die down.

School had let out for Thanksgiving break and she could hear cars pulling in and out of the driveway. There were girls running past her open door with small suitcases in tow as they yelled goodbyes to their friends.

Santana was long gone; her dad had pulled her out of the room early this morning.

I sighed loudly tossing the magazine to the floor. "This sucks."

I'd been happy with my decision to remain at school over break up until this morning, but now, my heart ached for home. I knew that it would not be the same of course; my mother wouldn't be there to welcome me back, but it was home.

I jumped up and pulled the duffel bag out from under my bed and began throwing some of my clothes inside it. I didn't care that no one would be there, I just couldn't stay here.

Halfway through packing I realized I should probably give my step dad a call and let him know I'd be going home after all.

He answered after the third ring, "Hi Brittany, how are you?"

"Hi! Good…" I pressed the phone between my ear and shoulder as I continued to pack up my bag. "I just wanted to tell you that I decided to go home after all."

There was silence on the other side of the phone and then a sigh, "I sorry Brittany…" he said, and my hopes of returning home faded. "You said you were going to be at school and because no one was using the house I told a friend of mine, who's in the city for business, he and his family could use it." he paused and I could almost see his hand rubbing his forehead, the way he did when he was under pressure.

"Oh…" I sank down onto the bed and tried to push back the tears beginning to form. "It's ok."

"I'm sorry Brittany… I wish I'd known…" He trailed off not knowing what to say. "Do you want to come here? I'll be working most of the time but I think I could make it work."

"No it's alright, I'll just stay here." I appreciated his offer but that was the last thing I wanted to do.

"If you're sure"

"I'm sure, thanks though."

"Okay well I've got another call coming in so I've got to go but I'll see you soon?"

"Yeah sure…" I hung up the phone and threw it away from me.

My eyes began burning and I felt the salty liquid running down the side of my face.

"No stop crying. You're being silly." I forced myself to sit up and threw the half packed bag to the floor.

"Brittany?" I heard someone say followed by a few soft knocks on the open door.

I wiped away a few left over tears and looked to see Quinn standing in my doorway.

"Hey Quinn, I thought you'd be gone by now."

"Actually, that's kind of what I'm here about…" She walked over and sat down beside me on the bed. "Are you okay?" she asked, seeing my tear stained face.

"I'm fine," I assured her.

"Come on Brittany you can tell me, what wrong?"

With that one little question it all came flooding out. "I just… I don't want to stay here! I miss home and I miss my mom, and I just wish everything could go back to the way it was!" The tears I'd been fighting back this entire time came pouring down my cheeks. "I don't know how to deal with this! How can this be my life! I can't…" I covered my face with my hands; I hated feeling this exposed and venerable.

I felt Quinn wrap her arms around me and after a bit of hesitation I fell into her warm embrace. "Shhhh" she cooed as she rubbed my back.

"I just…I can't believe she's gone." I whispered.

"Hey, hey" Quinn said pulling my face up so she could look into my eyes. "I cannot even begin to imagine what you're feeling right now, but I do know that you are one of the strongest people I have ever met."

I shook my head in disagreement.

"Stop that" she demanded. "I don't know how you've kept it together, how you can walk around every day with a smile on your face, but you do…I just want you to know that you are my hero."

I sat quietly staring in disbelief, hero?

"I know that there will be times, like now, when it will feel like the world has ended, but from what I've seen, you can handle anything."

I was stunned at her confession. I sure didn't feel strong; I felt like there was only a thin thread keeping me going and I was just waiting for the day it would break.

She waited for a few moments as I regained control of myself before she spoke again. "So the reason I came here was because I want you to come home with me for Thanksgiving."

I opened my mouth to speak but she rushed on, "I don't think you should be staying here all weekend by yourself and especially not on Thanksgiving. I talked to my mom and we would both love it if you would join us."

I felt a smile creep back on my face, "I think that sounds perfect."

She grinned and stood up, heading back toward the door, "Okay well my mom will be here in a half an hour to pick us up so get packed and meet me in my room when you're finished."

"Okay!" I responded and she disappeared out the door.

As I grabbed my bag and resumed packing I felt a weight leave my entire body. I don't know if she knew it or not, but Quinn had just given me the one thing I needed the most at that moment, a sense of family.

"That's her right there!" Quinn exclaimed running toward the white Toyota pulling up in front of us.

I followed closely behind the girl as an older woman stepped out of the car.

"Quinny!" The woman said as she embraced my friend.

I was startled at how similar they looked. They were right around the same height with the same light blonde hair. Her mother was just as beautiful as Quinn; however, I noticed Quinn's features had a certain softness to them whereas her mother's were more sculptured.

"Hi mom!" Quinn cried as she leaped into her mother's waiting arms.

They shared a huge and then Quinn pulled away, "Mom this is Brittany."

Her mother turned her eyes on me and gave me a huge smile. "It's nice to meet you sweetie!" She came forward and pulled me into a tight hug. "We're so happy to have you with us this Thanksgiving"

"Thank you so much for inviting me Miss Fabray!"

She leaned away still holding me in her arms, "Please call me Judy"

"Thank you Judy"

She smiled approvingly at me as she pulled me in for one more hug.

"Alright girls!" Quinn's mother said as she released me. The woman walked back around the car to the driver's seat and popped the trunk. "Just put your bags in the back and let's get outta here."

I sat in the back seat of the car, listening to Quinn and her mother catch up. I'd remained silent most of the ride; just thinking.

As I watched the mother and daughter talk and laugh together I felt a type of joyful sadness settle over me. I noticed the relationship they had was a lot like the one I'd had with my mother and while it was sad being reminded of it, it filled me with a great deal of joy.

Instead of dwelling on how sick she'd gotten and the loss I felt after she'd passed, I was being reminded of all the happy times we'd spent together, just talking and enjoying each other's company.

I realized I felt happier then I had in months, sitting in this car, simply observing.

"This is it!" Mrs. Fabray called as she turned into the driveway.

I heard Quinn sigh slightly as we pulled up to her home. "I really missed this place." She admitted quietly.

The house wasn't particularly small, but it definitely wasn't a mansion. It was painted a lovely sky blue color with white trim and a large front deck. There was a small iron fence surrounding the entire front lawn and a flower garden that bordered the left side of the house.

It looked like a home; I loved it immediately.

Quinn exited the car and I quickly followed her example. "I love your house!" I heard myself saying and Quinn's laughed. "Thanks! Mom's very proud of it. We even planted this garden ourselves!"

"It's really beautiful."

We both collected our bags and followed Quinn's mom inside.

The house was beautifully and elegantly decorated; using the same color scheme as the outside only adding a bit of yellow's and green's in as well.

Quinn started up the stairs, "My rooms up this way…" she paused yelling out to her mother who'd wandered off into what looked like the kitchen. "Mom! Did you make up the extra bed for Brittany?"

"Yes! And there is a fresh towel for her in the bathroom."

"Thanks mom!.. Come on!" she nodded, encouraging me to follow.

I followed her up the stairs and down the hall to the last door on the right. "This is it" she said dramatically opening the door.

The room was a typical teenage girl's room, except instead of pictures of boys all over the walls there were pictures of girls.

Quinn threw her bags on the floor and jumped up on her bed. She laid back against the pillow, clearly enjoying the feel of being back in her own room.

"That's where you'll be sleeping" she said pointing to the other twin mattress that lay on the floor below her bed. "And the bathroom is right across the hall."

"Alright, thanks." I put my bag to the side of my new bed and took another look around the room.

There was a small desk against the far wall and a bookcase filled with books and pictures. I went over to the bookshelf to get a closer look at the pictures and noticed some familiar faces.

There was a picture of Quinn with Mercedes and Tina, and of course a picture of Rachel. I scanned the photos seeing another one of Quinn and Rachel and one with her and Santana.

I paused at the photo of Santana, marveling once again at her beauty.

"So your mom knows…?" I asked turning to face Quinn. "About you and Rachel."

"Of course!"

"And she was okay with it, you and her?"

Quinn sat up and came over to stand beside me. She reached out and took the picture of Rachel off the shelf. "Yeah I mean it was definitely a shock. I'd dated guys my entire life and then one day to just show up with this girl…I mean it wasn't easy. But once she got to know Rachel and saw how happy I was with her and how serious we were becoming she embraced it."

"Wow"

"Yeah, I couldn't have done it without her…now I'm pretty sure she likes Rachel more than she likes me." Quinn laughed as she placed the photo back on the shelf.

"Well who could blame her," I teased, "She's damn near perfect."

"That she is."

**I hope you all liked it! Thanks to everyone who reviewed!**

Gleeeeeeeeek89** Haha I cant wait to start writing those moves! Lol and I'm happy you like what I've done with all of it!**

Pheonix4725** SOON! Seriously, I'm just as anxious to get there as you are! But it has to happen naturally **

Youmeandmusic** I love when Santana gets jealous! And thanks for reviewing!**

PazuzuGodking** I have a feeling that you will still be wondering…whats happening next!**

Selena**! I freakin love you! You are so amazing with these reviews! Thank you for all the love and compliments! And its funny the second review you sent in was when I was right in the middle of writing this new chapter! So don't worry I will NEVER forget of abandon this story! Also, if you like my stories you should check out the other ones while you wait for the next chapter!**

Misguidedghost1998** I love hearing you wish they were longer! That lets me know how much you are actually enjoying it! Keep reading and hope you are enjoying where its going! PS I know this one still wasn't long enough haha **

Ifeelfantastic** I FEEL FANTASTIC when I read the freakin wonderful things you write to me! And I'm happy you liked the song! I hoped it was perfect so its nice to see that you think so as well!**

ArianaGleek** You know honestly, and I don't know if you or anyone will believe me, I DIDN'T! You are the first one who told me about it haha so I guess I am just psychic! Lol jk and it makes me feel awesome that because of my story you might start shipping faberry as I think they are a great ship! Lol **


	16. I'm so proud of you

**Thank you to all who reviewed last chapter and I hope you enjoy this one!**

I let myself bask in the warmth of the sun that streamed through the open window.

I'd awoken early this morning but decided to just lie in bed and watch the sun rise.

Quinn was sleeping soundly from her bed above me and I hadn't wanted to wake her. She'd been so tired last night she'd nearly fallen asleep the second her head hit the pillow; probably just the familiarity of being home, I guessed.

As I waited for my friend to rise I listened to the sounds of the morning.

I listened to the wind as it whistled its way through the leaves. I heard the occasional car door slamming shut as some of Quinn's neighbors headed to work.

Lying here in almost complete silence brought thoughts to my mind, thoughts I'd rather have stayed buried.

The conversation I'd had with Miss Pillsbury shortly before break, the one where she'd challenged me to reveal something personal about myself to someone, just wouldn't leave my mind.

I'd been fighting with myself from the moment she'd brought it up.

Of course the harder I looked for something else to say, something else to give, the harder it was to shake the thought that I ultimately knew what it would come down to.

Even the thought of telling someone I was a lesbian twisted my stomach into so many knots I felt like I would throw up from the anxiety alone.

But I kept thinking about my mom.

She'd known; she'd accepted me without any hesitation or judgment.

I realized that through her approval she'd given me the strength to be myself. She'd let me know that it was okay to be a girl and love a girl.

I'd fought with myself for so long. I'd told myself over and over how wrong it was to have these feelings but all those thoughts flew away the second she'd whispered in my ear, "Everything's going to be okay."

After that day I'd began the process of accepting myself, and after transferring to Dalton and meeting Quinn and Rachel I realized how wrong I'd been.

There was nothing wrong with the feelings I was having, I mean, how could loving someone ever be wrong.

I'd watched those two girls, who had so much love for one another it was undeniable, and knew that it was right.

I turned away from the window as I heard Quinn's mother moving around downstairs. I scanned the room for a clock and saw that it was just past 8 am.

I crawled out of my bed and headed to the bathroom.

I discarded my clothing and stepped into the shower.

As the hot water ran down my body I felt as if it were washing away some of my past.

The water took away my uncertainty and shame I had about my feelings and washed them down the drain.

I knew that being who I was would never be easy. There would be times that I would wish I could just be straight and "normal", but this is who I am.

I can fight it and I can hate myself for it, but when it comes down to it, I am a lesbian.

I made a mental note to always remember my mother's words, "Everything's going to be okay", because I knew that with her support behind me, I could do anything.

After my long shower I stepped into Quinn's room and saw her lying in her bed with her computer sitting in her lap.

"Brittany! Finally! I hope you didn't use all the hot water." She scolded jokingly. "Come say Hi to Rachel!" She said smiling towards the computer.

I walked over to the laptop and peered over Quinn's shoulder. "Hi Brittany!" I heard Rachel's voice shout from the small speakers.

The whole computer screen was filled with Rachel's face. "Morning Rachel!" I waved at the screen as I noticed the web cam light was on.

"I'm so happy you went home with Quinn! All of us girls didn't like the idea of you spending the weekend alone."

"Ya ya.." I interrupted rolling my eyes. "Your girlfriend already gave me this speech. It's not healthy for you and especially on thanksgiving...blah blah" I laughed.

"Well I'm glad you listened, we all know how stubborn you can be."

"Uhhhh! I'm wounded!" I clutched my heart theatrically as we all burst into laughter.

"Alright babe, well I gotta go hop in the shower. Mom's making breakfast for us and I'd hate to keep the pancakes waiting!"

"Tell her hi for me!" Rachel beamed. "Love you."

"Love you too." Quinn waved and shut the computer.

Now that Quinn mentioned it I began to smell the delicious aroma coming up from the kitchen. I recognized the smell of maple syrup and pancake batter and my mouth began to water.

"Now hurry up! I can already smell your mom's food and I'm starving!" I ordered, followed by a very large growl from my stomach to back up my claim.

"Be out in a few!" Quinn grinned as she raced off to shower.

"This food is amazing Judy!"

I stuffed another bite of pancakes into my mouth to show my approval.

"Well thank you Brittany."

Quinn reached across the table and stabbed another pancake with her fork, dragging it to her plate. "It's so nice to finally get a real breakfast. The food at Dalton is okay and all but their foods got nothing on yours mom." Quinn smiled up at her mother as she drowned her pancakes in maple syrup.

"I'm just glad to have you home."

I watched the way Mrs. Fabray looked at her daughter with such adoration and I felt my heart ache.

"I'm so happy you're here as well Brittany. I've been hearing all about you these past few months from Quinny here, it's nice to finally meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too!"

"Oh mom, Rachel wanted me to tell you she says hi." Quinn cut in after swallowing more pancakes.

"I miss that girl. Too bad she couldn't come with you two."

"Yeah," Quinn nodded. "Her dad's surprised her with a trip to New York; no way could she pass that up."

"Well, hopefully she can make it for Christmas."

"She better!" Quinn laughed.

"Of course, we'd love to have you as well Brittany, if you have no other plans."

I thought it over. I didn't suspect I'd be going home for Christmas but really, who knew. So I ended up just saying, "I'll let you know."

After breakfast Quinn insisted on showing me around the neighborhood. She'd showed me the grade school she'd gone to and we walked to the park near her house to swing on the swings.

As we'd walked through the streets toward her elementary school Quinn told me that her mom and dad had separated a few years back. He'd moved out of the state shortly after the split and from what Quinn said they didn't see much of each other.

The way Quinn talked about him I could tell she wished things were different.

It was just getting dark when we made our way back to the house.

We had chicken fettuccini for dinner and excused ourselves shortly after finishing for bed.

I yawned loudly and fell into my comfy bed.

"Thanks for showing me around today."

"No problem" Quinn slipped into bed and I heard her sigh in comfort. "I had fun."

I laid there and stared up at the ceiling, "I just wanted to say thanks again for bringing me here. I'm having a great time."

"Me too." Quinn turned from her back to her side and propped her head up with her hand to look down at me. "I'm really glad you came to Dalton. I mean, I know that the circumstances were terrible but I've really enjoyed getting to know you."

Getting to know you…That phrase stuck in my head.

She didn't know me; not all of me.

I was keeping something very important from her; something that without knowing, she would never truly understand me.

My mind went back to my thoughts from this morning, I had to tell her.

"Quinn…" I began and with that one word I began to feel sick.

Even though I knew she wouldn't judge me, that she would accept me for who I was, I was still terrified.

I had never said this aloud to anyone before.

"Yeah?"

"I…I…I want to tell you something."

Quinn's eyebrows bunched up in worry as she heard my hesitation.

"You know you can tell me anything Brittany."

I heard the concern in her voice.

I felt my eyes burn and a tear fall down the side of my face as I told her. "Quinn, I'm a…I'm a lesbian."

Silence.

I covered my face with my hands as I began to sob. It wasn't long before I felt Quinn pulling me up into her arms; I clutched onto her as I cried.

I felt so relieved that I had finally said it, I'd finally admitted to my feelings and I felt so happy and scared all at the same time.

It was now so impossibly real that the weight of that realization was almost too hard to bear.

"Brittany it's alright," Quinn soothed. "It's okay…"

I pulled away and wiped the tears off my face. "Gosh! I am so sick of crying!"

Quinn looked at me as I frustratingly batted away my tears and began to laugh.

"What's so funny?" I asked and before long I found myself joining in.

I laughed and laughed and for the first time in awhile I felt okay.

"I'm sorry I laughed!" Quinn exclaimed as she clutched her stomach trying to calm herself. "It's just you have been through so much this year, I think you're allowed a good cry every now and then, don't you?"

"I just want to feel better already!"

"I know..." she said sadly.

We sat for a moment in silence, "So you're a lesbian huh?"

If I'd been standing I might have fallen over with how casually she'd said it. "Yeah."

"I want you to know that I really appreciate you telling me. I know how hard it is to tell someone something so personal."

I nodded my head.

"Does anyone else know?"

"No…"

"Not even Santana?"

"No" My heart fluttered at just the mention of her name. "I haven't told anyone else."

Her eyes widened, "Wow"

"Yeah…"

"It means so much that you would trust me enough to tell me."

"I really look up to you Quinn. I see you and Rachel together and I see everything I want. I wanted to tell you because you're part of the reason I've come to accept myself. I'm not hiding from it anymore. I can't say I'm ready to tell the whole world yet but I know this is who I am."

Quinn reached out and hugged me once more. "I'm so proud of you."

**There you are! **

**Hope you all liked it and the next chapter out soon! Review! **

Pheoniz4725 **Look's like you have your answer! Lol thanks for reading and being an awesome reviewer!**

Rtarara **Me too! **

Kristina4ever **Thanks for wishing me luck! It's really been so much fun! Although I am so busy now! Also, I know I said soon with Brittana but what can I say it's good to have suspense! Makes it all the more sweeter when it does happen **

PazuzuGodking **Yes I do ;)**

Eponime **Thanks for the compliment! I'm glad you like my writing! I really hope that you haven't had a similar experience to Brittany's, I was a little confused by the way it was written in the review, but if you have I want to say how sorry I am. I know that doesn't help, as I lost my mother when I was 13 I know how it feels but it's always good to keep in mind all the good times you had together. And just so you know if you ever want to talk just direct message me. **


	17. You don't know anything about it

**Here you are my lovelies! Sorry it took so long but I will be quicker with the next one! Enjoy!**

The rest of thanksgiving break had just blown by.

The return back to Dalton had been bittersweet. While I was sad to leave the comfort and warmth of the Fabray household I was more than ecstatic to be back with Santana.

My confession to Quinn that weekend had changed something within me. Before I had been scared of being gay, even ashamed, but now it was as if through saying it aloud I had flicked some anonymous switch inside me and I couldn't go back.

"Thanks again for this weekend Quinn." I let my bag drop to the floor and threw my arms around her. We stood together in the hallway of your school. I could hear many of my fellow classmates from within their rooms laughing and talking about their breaks. As usual a few of the girl's bedroom doors were pushed wide open to encourage random visitors.

"Stop thanking me!" she scolded, but as I pulled away she had a huge smile spread across her face. "I'm so happy you came and my mom loved you!"

"I loved her too."

Quinn grinned and grabbed hold of her bag again pushing the strap over her shoulder. "Tell Santana hi for me and I'll see you two at dinner!"

Quinn turned away and nearly ran down the hall toward her room. I laughed; I could tell she was anxious to see Rachel. They'd video chatted every day over break but it still didn't seem to be enough.

"I will!" I called after her.

I reached my door and I could hear music blasting from inside. I took at deep breath trying to calm the nerves I began to feel knowing Santana was right beyond this thin piece of wood.

"HEY!" I yelled over the music as I walked in.

Santana was sitting on her bed, eyes engrossed in her computer screen. She glanced up at me with a small smile and nodded her head in hello.

That was weird I thought and walked over to my bed setting down my bag.

I shrugged it off sure I was overreacting. What had I expected? Did I expect her to jump up overjoyed that I had returned; maybe I had?

"HOW WAS YOUR BREAK!"

I frowned, I felt really silly yelling over the music like this. I walked over to the radio and turned it down just enough so I could talk normally. "How was your break?" I asked again.

She shrugged.

"That bad?"

"It was alright." She responded flatly. "Hey I actually really have to finish this assignment," she pointed to her computer. "I put it off too long and I'm dead if I don't finish it."

"Oh yeah no problem!" I said feeling at ease now that I understood her odd behavior.

"Could you turn the music back up? It helps me concentrate."

"Sure" She returned to her work as I twisted the knob returning the music to its previous volume. How anyone could concentrate on homework with this noise was beyond me.

A couple hours later I sat talking to Rachel and Quinn at the dinner table. After being away from each other for all of break they were sickeningly cute cuddled up together. The girls sat sideways straddling the bench with Rachel's back pressed up against Quinn's chest. Quinn's arms were wrapped around her girlfriend's waist and her chin rested lightly on the brunette's shoulder.

The two were cocooned in their own little world of bliss and I was a happy witness.

"Where's Santana?" Rachel asked.

"She's in our room, said she had some last minute homework to finish."

"Oh…" Rachel responded before getting distracted by something Quinn whispered in her ear.

"Yeah, I don't think her Thanksgiving break was all that great."

"What happened?"

"She didn't say anything in particular I just got the feeling something happened."

I turned my eyes away from the happy couple, my mind consumed with thoughts of Santana. I was worried about her. Something was definitely off and I decided that when I got back to the room after dinner I would try and talk to her.

We'd always been able to tell each other things and I wanted her to know that hadn't changed.

However my hopes were dashed for when I returned to the room after dinner Santana was already asleep.

I sighed disappointed and resolved to speak with her tomorrow.

When I awoke the next morning Santana's bed was empty. Her computer and backpack were gone and there was a note on her bed that read, "Went to the library."

At breakfast I ate my cereal in silence. My friends, minus Santana who was still in the library, sat all around me sharing the details of their adventures over break. I had only one thing on my mind.

I knew how tense Santana and her father's relationship was; I'd seen enough at the Halloween dance to be certain of that. Without a doubt things were less than chummy between the two and I hoped something bad hadn't happened when she'd gone back home.

Endless scenarios rushed through my mind. I pictured father and daughter yelling at each other over dinner, only ending when Santana rushed from the room crying. I saw Santana's dad throwing a glass against the wall and Mrs. Lopez yelling at him to calm down.

I shook away the thoughts knowing my imagination was making me think the worst. There probably wasn't anything wrong and I was just overreacting.

Before I knew it I was sitting at the table with my lunch in front of me.

Mercedes was telling Quinn something about her boyfriend Sam but I couldn't focus enough to listen.

I scanned the room searching for Santana. I hadn't seen her all day and as much as I told myself to let it go my thoughts from this morning were still in the forefront of my mind. I just couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

I finally caught sight of her. She entered the dining hall and I followed her with my eyes as she grabbed some food and made her way to our table.

I watched as she causally chatted with a fellow classmate who'd grabbed her attention on the way over. She laughed and my heart swelled. How I'd missed that.

Once again I felt foolish for my quick assumption. Maybe everything was perfectly fine.

Santana came over to the table and took a seat across from me next to Mercedes.

"Hey Santana" She looked at me as I said hello and said a short "Hey" before turning her attention to Quinn and Mercedes. She joined in on their conversation and didn't look at me again the rest of the lunch period.

"What's up with you?" I asked.

I sat across from Santana in the library. The walk here had been silent and uncomfortable and I was now completely convinced that something was wrong.

I felt queasy with worry. I'd realized on our walk over that her unfriendly attitude was directed only at me. I had been sifting through my memories trying to find a cause to her behavior. What had I done?

However my mind came up blank. I couldn't think of anything I had done that would cause her to be upset with me.

Finally after 15 minutes of sitting here in silence I'd had to ask.

She looked up from her paper, her brows bunched up. "What do you mean?"

"You've been basically ignoring me since I got back from break yesterday. What did I do?"

Her face softened. "I'm sorry. You didn't do anything."

I was confused. She hadn't denied that she'd been distant but if I wasn't the cause of this behavior then what was? "It's just, I'm worried."

"You don't need to be. Everything is fine." She turned her eyes back on her paper. It was clear she didn't want to talk about it but I couldn't leave it alone.

"What happened over break?" She looked up at me with wide cautious eyes. "You've been weird ever since I got back, did something happen?"

She remained quiet and ignored my question so I went on. "You can tell me you know…"

She opened her mouth a few inches and I believed that she was going to tell me everything. However she almost immediately thought better of it and clamped her mouth shut.

"Does it have something to do with your dad?" I asked. "I know your relationship isn't the best."

I must have hit a nerve because her eyes flicked to mine quickly and I saw anger hidden within them.

"You don't know anything about it." She hissed and pushed away from the table, clumsily grabbing her bag and rushed from the room.

My mouth hung slack in surprise. My stomach tightened and I felt sick. I don't know what had happened but I was sure it had something to do with her father. It hadn't escaped my notice that the second I'd mentioned him her mood had turned.

I was nervous knowing I'd see her later in our communal room and I wished that we could just go back to the easy friendly relationship we'd had a week ago.

I floated through the rest of my classes and when the 6th period bell rang I didn't feel like going back to my room.

I decided to pay a visit to my mom's grave. It was painful to go there and I had only been there once since her death but after today, I needed her.

I brought my bag with me, not wanting to take the effort to return it to my room, and headed out the front doors of the school.

I noticed when I'd been sent here that the cemetery where my mother was buried was within walking distance of the school and I'd known that one of these days I would go there.

Today was that day.

I felt a heavy weight press down upon my chest and I walked through the cemetery gates. As I passed the numerous gravestones I thought absently about their families and wondered what had caused these strangers deaths.

Was it as sudden and unexpected as my mother's? I nodded to myself; it was always sudden.

I found her gravestone easily and my eye's burned as I read her name engraved in the stone.

I kneeled down and let my fingers trace along the letters of her name. "Hi mom" I said through my tears and laughed about at how silly it felt to be talking to a rock.

"I miss you." I folded my legs beneath me and sat on the cold ground.

"I'm sorry I haven't been here more it's just hard." I pushed down my feelings trying to regain control and continued, "I'm going to a new school now; I've made some great friends!" I smiled, "You'd have liked them."

I talked about Quinn and Rachel and how much I looked up to them. I told her I had taken a step to accepting myself and had told Quinn that I was gay.

"My roommate, her name is Santana." I thought back to this afternoon and how cold she'd been. "I don't know what going on with her. She is distant mom and I'm afraid. I like her a lot more than a friend and I'm scared of what will happen if she find out."

"She's beautiful mom. She's sweet and caring. She is loyal and stands up for her friends."

I felt the butterflies that were never absent in her presence start up again. "I think I'm falling in love with her."

As I said the words I felt a sense of helplessness rest over me. I knew that it was without hope. I had no chance and falling for her was only going to hurt me in the end. But I couldn't help how I felt any more than I could change the reality of my mother's passing.

I don't know how long I sat there but as the sky started to darken I knew that I need to get back.

"I gotta go now mom." I smiled pressing a kiss to my hand and placed it on the stone.

I made a promise that I would come back soon and walked the short distance home.

**I will have the next chapter out soon! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and I promise Brittana is coming!**

**REVIEW! **

Gleeeeeeeeeeek89 **Just so you know I have totally** **given up on getting the number of e's right in your name lol I cant wait for Brittana either and I assure they are on the way!**

Phoenix4725** Me too **

GleeBrittanaFan** I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thanks for reviewing! I promise brittana soon!**

Ifeelfantastic** Its ok everyone forgets once and a while! I am glad you agree that Quinn was a good first choice to tell! And maybe Santana will find out idk.. lol ;) I'm happy to know you think I am doing this story justice and I hope you enjoyed this last chapter! **

Luii** I will keep writing this until it is finished! Promise! I will not give up on it so don't worry**

Rainbow-Explosion1** We'll see ;)**

Di7fan** I'm glad I could captivate you with my words, as that is the goal, and also that you didn't want it to end! I hope this helped and I will have then next out a lot sooner than this one took!**

Penxitalita** Thank you the compliment! I'm happy you like the story and you just make me want to write more! Hope you enjoyed this chapter!**

ArianaGleek** I love Quinn too! Haha she will remain a big part of the story and maybe she will tell Quinn she likes Santana, idk ;) I will think about the change in POV honestly I thought about it already but not sure. If it works in well with the story I will add one in! and I am stoked I am transforming you into a Faberry shipper! They are freakin perfect for each other haha **

TheOne98** I hope your love of the story continues and keep letting me know what you think! I really appreciate the reviews!**


	18. I began to fear knowing the answer

**Here you are! **

Santana had been out of the room when I returned. I didn't bother to wonder where she'd run off to. It was clear she didn't want to talk to me.

I changed out of my pajamas and crawled into bed. I was emotionally worn out from today and I drifted easily off to sleep.

They next morning I woke up early and Santana was still tucked safely in her bed.

I looked at her face, she looked so peaceful. Her lips turned up in a smile as she slept and I thought maybe she was waking up. But she just mumbled something inaudible and flipped around facing away from me; I sighed.

I left the room and headed to the bathroom. I took a quick shower and brushed my teeth. As I walked down the hall on my way back to the room I rubbed the thick towel against my hair trying to dry it.

The towel fell in front of my eyes and as I moved it away I saw Santana coming down the hallway toward me.

Should I say hello? Should I wave?

I didn't know what to do so I ended up just giving her a small smile.

She returned it slightly and walked past me without a word.

What is wrong with her? I wondered and I ran back to the room, dressing quickly.

I tossed my jacket on over my uniform and went down to breakfast.

The rest of the morning hadn't been too great. I'd asked Rachel if she'd talked to Santana lately but she hadn't. I didn't know what to do.

I was partly dreading study hall. I'd have a whole hour to just sit there while Santana ignored me. The other part of me just wanted her near.

As I walked from lunch hour to the library Miss Pillsbury stopped me.

"Brittany! It's great to see you! I trust you had a wonderful Thanksgiving break?"

I nodded; my return hadn't been so wonderful though. "Yeah it was great!"

"Since we missed a secession last week due to the holiday I was hoping to meet with you after school today. Does that work?"

"Sure" I agreed reluctantly.

"Great! See after school."

She ran off and I trudged my way to study hall.

I sat down at the normal table and waited for Santana.

She arrived just as the bell rang, sliding into the seat opposite mine.

"Hey"

"Hey…" She replied and got out her books. She kept her eyes trained on the table.

"What is wrong with you?" I whispered angrily nearly echoing my question from yesterday. I feared the same thing would happen and this conversation would end with her running off angry.

I almost didn't care. She had told me clearly that I hadn't done anything wrong so what was this about.

Her eye's flickered up to me and they were smoldering. "I told you, nothing is wrong."

I had to fight back a laugh. "Bullshit"

Her eyes widened with my comment. "Stop it Brittany."

"Stop what! Trying to be your friend? That's all I've been trying to do and yet you keep ignoring me! When I try to talk to you, you do your best avoid me. I don't understand…" I trialed off and felt the tears begin to come.

I raised my hand and waited for the teacher to call on me. I wasn't about to cry in front of my entire class.

"Yes Brittany?" the librarian asked.

"Can I go to the bathroom, I don't feel well?" I touched my stomach and allowed my face to show the pain I usually kept hidden tight behind locked doors.

Her eyes opened wide, "Yes go go!" She ushered me out of the room. I could tell she was just afraid I'd vomit all over the books.

I ran to the bathroom and saw at once that it was empty. I entered one of the empty stalls and locked the door.

I felt tears coming down my face and I felt silly for letting her get to me.

I barely had time to think when I heard the door open. I used my sleeves to wipe the tears off my face.

"Brittany?"

I froze in the stall.

"Brittany?" She said again.

"What Santana?"

"Are you okay?" she asked cautiously.

I rolled my eyes. Was I okay? "What do you think? My best friend isn't talking to me and I don't know why."

I heard her sigh in frustration. "I just don't know what to do." the helplessness in her voice as she said that unmistakable.

"What do you mean?"

I listened to her footsteps as she came toward my stall.

"I got in a fight with my dad." She stated simply.

"And…" I pressed.

"And….it was about you."

"I'm confused. What do you mean it was about me?"

She remained quiet for several moments and I if wasn't staring at the back of her heels as she leaned against the stall door I would've thought she'd left.

"It was… it was about how…" she was so cautious with her words I began to fear knowing the answer. "It was about how I feel about you."

My eyes shot up; I could almost see her standing there beyond the blue stall door.

"What…what do you mean it was about how you feel about me?"

I heard her sigh and then her feet shuffle as she turned to face the stall. "I can't do this!" She yelled and her feet disappeared from view.

I heard the door swing open and shut and realized she was gone.

I couldn't think of anything else the rest of the day.

How she felt about me? Was it possible that she thought about me as more than a friend?

I'd been so focused on this never happening that I hadn't allowed myself to think of the possibility that it could.

I had been so out of it that I'd almost forgotten that I had to meet with Miss Pillsbury after school.

I just wanted to get to my room. I had to talk to Santana and I wasn't in the mood to talk about anything with anyone but her.

I had just convinced myself to skip the meeting when Miss Pillsbury caught sight of me in the hall.

"Hello Brittany! I gotta run down to the headmaster's office but I'll be back in my office in 10. See you then." She raced pass me and I had no choice but to go.

"So how was your break?" Miss Pillsbury asked 15 minutes later as we sat down to begin our secession.

"It was great. I went with Quinn to her house…"

"That was nice of them to invite you for Thanksgiving!" She gave me a huge grin.

"Yeah it was."

She paused then said, "Do you remember the thing I asked you to do right before break?"

"Yes"

"And…?"

"I told Quinn"

"That's fantastic Brittany! How did she take it?"

"Rather well actually" I laughed a bit.

"Do you want to talk about what it was you said to her?"

I shook my head. "No thanks."

"That's perfectly alright, but I just want to say that you can talk to me about anything. I promise I will hear everything you say to me with nonjudgmental ears."

She was so soothing with her words I nearly told her everything. But I couldn't. It had been hard enough to tell Quinn, I just couldn't.

She went on, "Well if you ever change your mind I'm here."

The rest of the secession went rather quickly.

I told her I'd gone to see my mom's grave yesterday. I told her how being with Quinn's family over break had helped me remember all the good times I'd had with my mom. But I steered clear of anything having to do with Santana and my sexual orientation.

"I'd like to meet with you next week at the same time."

I nodded my head and made my way quickly out the door.

I rushed up my bedroom and paused before I opened the door. Santana was right inside and all the things she'd said today came rushing back.

I felt cautious and excited at what was waiting for me.

As I pushed open the door I saw her sitting on her bed. Her eyes watched me as I entered and I could tell she'd been waiting for me.

I threw my pack to the floor and never took my eyes from hers. "Hi…"

She didn't say anything just slid slowly off the bed and came to stand in front of me.

"I can't…" she whispered looking down at her feet and I wanted to reach out to her.

"What?"

"I can't…" she said again and this time I let myself reach out and grab onto her hand.

She looked at our hands and smiled. "I can't fight it anymore, "and then her whole body was pressed up to mine. I could feel her thighs rub up against mine and her free hand slide up my arm.

I gasped, startled as her face hovered inches from mine. Her hand trailed up my arm and came to rest on my cheek.

I was frozen stiff.

Her eyes looked down at my lips and I saw the need in them. I waited as she tentatively began to lean forward and a few inches from me I couldn't take it anymore.

My lips met hers fast and quick. She responded instantly with full force.

My arms went out and wrapped around her neck and her hands gripped my waist and pulled me into her.

I was being pulled forward and then I was falling.

Santana's head met the mattress and she broke away for a moment. She stared up at me and there was a huge smile on her face.

"Come here." She beckoned and I melted. She could have gotten me to do anything at that moment.

Santana reached out and grabbed my hand, pulling me down on top of her.

My whole body was on fire as I felt her beneath me.

"Oh my god" I panted against her lips, they were so warm.

Her legs came up and wrapped around my waist smashing my hips against hers. I had never felt anything like this before. I was buzzing.

She left kisses against my skin as she moved up my neck and back to my mouth.

Her kisses were hungry and I fought the urge to cry out as she aggressively bit my lip. "Brittany" she gasped against my mouth and I shuddered.

"Hey guy's Rachel and I were wondering…."and I was on the floor.

Quinn stood in the doorway mouth hanging open as she looked at me lying on the floor and at Santana who was furiously fixing her disheveled hair.

"Oh wow I'm so sorry" Her hand flew to her eyes and she backed out of the room. "Really sorry" I heard her say to the closing door.

I listened as her footsteps carried down the hall.

"I can't believe that just happened." Santana got up off the bed and went toward the door. "I shouldn't have…"

"What do you mean?" I asked and she ignored me.

"I'm so embarrassed, I can't believe…" He cheeks were scarlet red as she reached for the door knob.

I went to follower her and tell her that it wasn't a mistake but I barely took as step before she turned to me and said "Please, don't follow me" and left.

I was so surprised at what had just happened and so stung by her obvious rejection that I listened.

**There you go all! Some brittana action. The next chapter will be out soon! Thanks for reading and I always appreciate the reviews! **

Gleeeeeeeek89 **Hope you liked it**

TheOne98 **Sorry it's still not longer lol**

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Muselover5694 **I'm glad you liked it! Thanks for reading!**

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Cess **It** **has to happen naturally. This chapter happened naturally so I hope you liked it.**

Fuma Umji **Hope you enjoyed!**


	19. I think I might have an idea

**Here you are everyone! Hope you like **

The next day Santana went back to ignoring me. I had tried to talk to her but every time I did she either ignored me or walked away. She would be nice around our friends but the second we were alone she didn't speak a word.

I never wanted to go back to my room and made any excuse to stay away. It had been a week and still nothing had changed.

School had let out for the day and I was headed to Quinn's room. I had done this almost every day since that fight with Santana.

I had talked briefly with Quinn about what she'd seen that day with me and Santana; she'd promised she wouldn't say anything to anyone.

The door was open when I walked up to the room, "Hey Quinn" I said as I walked into the room and sat on Mercedes bed.

"Hey Brittany" Quinn replied, her face buried in the closet.

"What are you looking for?"

"Oh just a shoe, it's got to be in here somewhere." she reached in and grabbed shoe after shoe tossing each one to the other side of the closet as she searched.

"Brittany!" Rachel called. She wore a huge smile on her face as she entered the room, Mercedes coming in behind her.

"Hey girly" Mercedes walked over to her desk and sat down.

"What are you looking for babe?" Rachel asked Quinn as she walked over to her girlfriend.

"A shoe!" Quinn yelled from within the closet.

"So…how was your day?" Mercedes asked, clearly bored with Rachel and Quinn's conversation. She walked to her desk and set her bag on the chair. Her hands moved to the zipper of the bag, opening it so she could unpack her school things.

"Oh it wasn't bad." I tried to sound happy but the second I thought about the day a pain went through my chest as I remembered about how bad things were with Santana.

"What happened?"

"Nothing really," I assured her. "I've just kind of had a weird week."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Mercedes offered.

"No that's okay, I'll get over it. Just want to forget about it."

I fought the urge to glace a Quinn who I was sure was giving me a look.

Mercedes stared at me and I could see her wrestling with whether or not to leave it alone. In the end she just continued to unpack her books and didn't ask me more about it.

"…It's probably in my room somewhere." Rachel said to Quinn. She pulled her girlfriend up off the floor, "I'll look for it later okay."

"Okay." Quinn agreed and sat across from me on her bed.

Rachel unzipped her jacket and hung it over the back of the desk chair. She went over to the bed and laid back, her head resting against the pillow.

I smiled a bit when I saw Rachel's hand automatically reach out and grab Quinn's, intertwining their fingers.

I stayed there for the rest of the afternoon. It was dark when I walked back down the hall to my bedroom.

I walked in and saw Santana sitting on her bed with her headphones in as usual. She had her computer in front of her and she hadn't looked up when I'd walked in.

I decided that if she was going to ignore me then I would ignore her as well.

I changed out of my school uniform and into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt.

When I turned back Santana was closing her laptop. She set it on the floor by her bed, pulled the earphones out of her ears, and turned off the lamp.

She turned away from me and settled into her bed. "Goodnight" I mumbled and got into bed too.

I don't know how long I was asleep for but the next thing I knew I was being shaken awake.

I gazed out around the dark room. The moonlight streamed through the window and cast a white glow the room, and the figure I saw before me.

Santana stood above me, her hand was warm against my shoulder and she looked down at me with pained eyes.

"I need to talk to you."

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and pushed myself up in my bed. "What do you want to talk about?" My voice held a bit more resentment than I would have liked.

"I know I haven't been fair to you." She confessed taking a step back and sitting on her bed.

"Then why do this? Why act this way? We kissed…it was amazing and I know I'm not the only one who felt that way."

"No you weren't." she admitted her eyes cast to the floor.

"Then what…?"

Santana looked up and then stood. She paced back and forth and then turned back to me.

"I want to be with you okay! Every time you're near all I want to do is kiss you…"

She paused and bit her lip. "I never stop wanting to kiss you. You make my stomach twist in knots when I see you because I just want you so badly. I have never felt closer to anyone in my life and its killing me because I…I can't do this with you."

"My father will kill me if he thinks anything is going on between us. That's what we were fighting about over thanksgiving break; He was getting suspicious about our relationship."

"That's why I didn't have a roommate, because he didn't want me sharing a room with another girl."

Santana stopped speaking rather abruptly and glanced out the window. "He…he caught me a few years ago."

I couldn't take my eyes from her. I was shocked at everything I was hearing.

"I was a freshmen and I fell for a girl in my class. I'd never done anything with a girl before, never even thought about it, but there was something about her that I couldn't forget."

"Anyway, one day she kissed me and I was amazed at how happy I could be. But after seeing each other secretly for a couple months my father walked in and caught is together. He told me how disgusted he was and that my behavior was unacceptable."

"The next day she was pulled out of school. I think he called her parents and they took her home. She wouldn't respond to texts and all her things were moved out when I got back from classes. I never saw her again."

"Wow…"

"My dad has been watching me closely ever since. The only reason you are my roommate is because they had no other rooms available. My dad had no choice!"

She threw her hands up in anger. "I'm not supposed to be feeling this way." She sounded so hopeless.

I reached out and grabbed her arm to stop her from pacing. "Please, sit down."

She pulled her arm out of my grasp but sat down anyway.

"I'm really sorry that you had to go through all of that."

My stomach turned as I'd listened to how her dad had made her feel.

I remember when I first realized that I'd liked girls, how scary it had been. If my mom had reacted the way Santana's dad had I don't know what I would have done.

Santana continued to stare at her hands.

"I used to think there was something really wrong with me." I began. "I found myself attracted to my best friend instead of the cute guy who sat behind me in math class. I felt terrible about myself."

"But you know what happened…?"

Santana looked up and me with questioning eyes.

"A little before my mom died she had a conversation with me. You see she'd found out I was gay and wanted to talk to me about it."

"But it wasn't to yell at me or tell me she was disappointed. She told me she loved me no matter what and that there was nothing wrong with how I was feeling." I fought to keep myself from crying at the memory.

"She loved me no matter what and that's what a parent is supposed to do."

"My dad's not like you're mom." Santana stated simply.

I was so angry at how her father had torn away at her that it was a struggle to keep voice down.

"He will disown me if he thinks I'm not obeying him. I can't be with you…"

She sat silently and then went on, "I envy Rachel and Quinn, how much love they have between them and how openly they can express it. But I won't ever be able to do that."

I went to argue with her but she stopped me. "I'm sorry…I can't."

I didn't see the point of responding; she'd given up.

We sat there in silence for a little and I thought about the kiss we'd shared. My thoughts drifted to the day I'd went to my mother's grave. I'd realized something that day, talking to her. I loved Santana and I figured I might as well say it considering I would probably never get the chance to again.

"I love you…" her head whipped up and I looked into her eyes. "I know you probably don't feel the same way but I had to say it."

I pushed back the comforter and slipped my legs underneath. I was done with this conversation and I felt so emotionally raw I knew that if I didn't go back to sleep right now I would start crying.

Santana got the hint and left her place at the foot of my bed. I could almost feel her gaze on me as I closed my eyes and shut out the world.

I dreamt of nothing the rest of the night. I awoke and coasted through my morning classes. I had tried to pay attention, fought hard to listen to the teachers, but nothing I did deterred my mind.

I thought of nothing but Santana and tried to contain my feelings until I could be alone.

Quinn noticed something was wrong with me and when we broke away to work with partners in French class she's brought it up. "What's going on with you?" she whispered, looking around to make sure no one was listening.

"Nothing…"

"Right, you and Santana both look like you're puppy's been run over by a car…did you guys have a fight?"

I shrugged my shoulders and stared at my paper.

"What did you guys fight about? I mean, from what I saw things seemed to be going pretty well."

"Yeah…that's what I thought."

"Soooo? What happened?"

"Her father happened."

Quinn's face bunched up in confusion. "What's her dad got to do with it?"

I sighed and told her about the conversation the night before with Santana.

She listened and her mouth dropped. "Oh my god…I didn't think he was like that. I mean, I know he's seen Rachel and I together and he's never said anything…" she trailed off and her eyes were full of pain for her friend. "She doesn't deserve that and neither do you."

"Well she's made it clear. No matter how wrong her dad may be she's not going to disobey him so, I don't know what to do."

Quinn looked up at me with a smile on her face. "I think I might have an idea…"

Gleeeeeeeeek89 **Yeah I know But I'm glad you liked it!**

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Di7Fan **so they talked…lol but more will be on its way soon!**

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	20. keeping me safely grounded in reality

**Enjoy! Hope Everyone likes the new chapter! Don't forget to tell me what you think.**

I knew my step dad would be away for the rest of the month so Quinn's plan seemed perfect!

After everything I'd heard from Santana I was sure she wanted to be with me just as much as I wanted to be with her. The only problem was, her dad.

He was the headmaster of the school; therefore he was always around. She would never show how she really felt with her father so close by.

"Are you sure you can make this happen?" I asked, looking around at Quinn, Rachel and Mercedes.

We were all gathered around in Mercedes and Quinn's room talking about this weekend's plans.

"Yes! God knows why but, Santana's dad likes me." Mercedes said with confidence. "Uh" she huffed. "I always thought he was kind of nice, I mean strict but nice enough. Now though, after hearing all this, I get angry every time I think about him."

Quinn and I sat down and with Rachel and Mercedes and I'd told them about me. They were a little surprised but after five minutes of telling them about the mess with Santana they were literally slapping themselves for not noticing it earlier.

This coming out thing was getting easier and easier I noticed; I trusted these girls.

"So the plan is: Mercedes will convince Santana's dad to let her go home with her for the weekend."

I remember when Quinn told me about this plan I wasn't sure we'd be able to convince Santana to come along. She was trying to keep her distance so being stuck in a house with me alone, okay so Quinn, Rachel, Mercedes and Tina would be there but still, this probably wasn't what she would have chosen.

Surprisingly she had agreed saying she needed to get away. I hadn't argued. I hoped to talk to her this weekend.

"But instead of going to my house we will go to yours, where you Brittany will be waiting to woo her!" Mercedes laughed.

I took this opportunity to throw a pillow at her face.

"Hey! Now come on! No time to be modest."

Quinn just laughed at us. "Stop teasing her" she scolded but continued laughing along anyway.

I didn't want to be but I was really nervous. As much as I hoped for that happy ending the grumbling in my stomach was keeping me safely grounded in reality.

"What happens if she refuses to let me…uh woo her?" I uttered out awkwardly.

"I don't think that'll happen." Quinn spoke up with certainty. "I've seen Santana when she's around someone she doesn't like. I mean you all saw her with Puck!? When she's around you she's miserable Brittany." She laughed at the frown on my face. "Okay that was badly put, I just mean, she wants to be with you so badly that it's killing her not to be."

I nodded hoping Quinn was right. Despite all she'd said to me I still wasn't sure. I mean if Santana really felt that way then how could she let her father stand in the way?

Although I had to admit part of me understood her. If my mother had disapproved of who I was I think part of me would've sacrificed anything to make her proud.

"Santana should be here any minute." Mercedes said glancing at her watch, "We're going down to ask her dad…"

I had no time to wonder when she'd arrive because as soon as Mercedes finished her sentence Santana strolled through the door as if she'd been called.

"Hey guys!" she addressed the room.

"Hey Santana! Ready to go?" Mercedes stood and went to stand beside her.

Santana nodded and waved to us.

"Pray this goes well!" Mercedes yelled as she pushed the other girl out the door.

I shook my hands up and down trying to calm myself. I stood in my room waiting for Santana and Mercedes to finish their conversation with her dad.

They had been gone longer then I'd thought was necessary and I was starting to worry.

I realized that as much as I feared this weekend wouldn't happen, after I'd heard Quinn's idea I'd placed so much hope and thought into the potential meeting and reconciliation I would be crushed if Santana's dad said no.

I threw myself down on the bed and tapped my fingers against the comforter. The steady beat seemed to calm me and I closed my eyes.

Santana, I thought and sighed loudly. She was going to be the end of me.

I don't know how long I laid there before she came in. Eventually I heard the door open and Santana's footsteps and she walked to her bed.

I was dying to know what happened but unsure what her reaction would be should I ask.

I peeked through my closed eyes and saw her silhouette near the bed.

"He said yes."

I opened my eyes and stared at her expression. She didn't seem happy or angry or…anything. She just looked blank.

"Cool" I said stupidly and immediately wanted to slap myself. "I will be fun." Keep digging Brittany! I don't think you've dug yourself deep enough, I yelled internally.

Santana didn't seem to notice though; she just nodded with a small smile and opened her books.

"Which way is it?" Tina asked as we came to a stop at the intersection.

Quinn and Rachel were cuddled up in the back seat, which left me in front to help navigate. "Go to the right and take that street for a few miles."

We were almost to my house and I was getting nervous.

Santana had left earlier this afternoon with Mercedes. I'd given them directions to my house and they were to meet us there.

I looked out the window and watched as we got closer and closer. The streets started looking familiar. Everything I looked at brought up a different memory from a different life. I'd left so soon after my mom's death that I didn't know this place without her.

"Isn't this the street?" Tina asked and I snapped quickly out of my thoughts.

"Oh yeah I'm sorry, turn left here and it's just down the block."

When we pulled up to my house I noticed Mercedes and Santana. They sat by the Mercedes red car waiting for us.

"Hey guys!" Quinn called as we stepped out of the car.

"Hey" they both yelled and began unloading their overnight bags from the car.

I picked up my backpack and threw the right strap over my shoulder. I fished the keys out of my pocket and walked up to the front door as my friends followed.

"Here we go" I said more to myself than anyone else, slipped the key in the lock and opened the door.

I walked in and felt a rush of emotions. Everything appeared to look the same but as I walked farther into the house I began to notice the subtle differences.

The homey feel was missing from this place. My mother's books no longer cluttered the bookshelves. Her coat and scarf no longer hung by the door.

She was gone not only from my life but now her mark had been removed from the whole place.

She was gone in every way and she wasn't coming back.

"Wow I'm starving is there any food in this house?" Mercedes called from behind me.

I quickly composed myself and took a deep breath to calm myself.

"Yeah the kitchens down the hall to the left right there help yourself!" I said more normally then I would have thought possible. "My rooms upstairs first on the right but any other room you're welcome to. Just make yourselves at home."

I dropped my bag by the bottom of the stairs and went into the downstairs restroom and locked the door.

I hadn't expected that coming here would be this hard.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror and was surprised that I looked more together then I felt on the inside.

I could hear my friends walking around upstairs choosing their rooms. I felt a jump in my stomach and I remembered the true purpose of this getaway.

I smiled hopefully at myself, "Here we go."

I walked into the kitchen and found Mercedes and Quinn looking through the refrigerator and pantry.

"There's not much here," Mercedes said closing the pantry door. "It looks like we might have to get some take out."

"Our room is upstairs at the end of the hall on the right," Rachel said to Quinn as she walked into the kitchen.

"Okay" Quinn smiled and wrapped her arm around her girlfriend. I realized just how nice this getaway must be for them too. "We're ordering take out, anything sound good?"

"Doesn't matter to me! I like everything." Rachel said.

Tina and Santana came walking through the kitchen door.

"Anything but pizza" Santana said having heard our conversation as she walked in.

"There are a few good Chinese restaurants and one good Italian restaurant close by and both deliver…"

"Chinese sounds good" Mercedes said and everyone agreed.

We looked up the menu online and I made the call. "They said they will be here in 45 minutes."

"Well I'm going to go change into something more comfortable." Quinn said pulling at her jeans.

"Good idea! How about we all go change into our sweats, the food gonna take some time to get here anyway"

"Yeah sounds good" Santana agreed with me and we all headed to our separate rooms.

I walked into my old bedroom and set down my bag. Where the house downstairs had changed my room remained the exact way I remembered it.

I sat down on my bed and picked up the photo that sat on my bedside table; a picture of my mom holding me when I was a baby.

"Is that your mom?"

I jumped and looked over at the person in the doorway. "Santana, hi uhh yeah it is."

She walked over and sat next to me on the bed. I tilted the photo towards her, "She's beautiful."

"Yeah," I looked at the photo of my mom and smiled. "She was."

"I must be hard to be back here."

I looked back at Santana and wondered how she could read my mind so easily. "More than I thought it would be."

"I'm sorry."

"Me too." I set the photo back on the table and stood.

I realized this was the first time she'd really talked to me in over a week and I felt angry, why now? "I'm gonna change."

"Okay" she said and got up off the bed and walked out the door.

We ate dinner and everyone talked and hung out. Everything went fine.

I didn't talk to Santana and she barely talked to me the whole night.

But everything else was good, at least.

I went to bed early and listened as my friends moved around the house and finally went to bed.

I couldn't really sleep. My mind was either filled with thoughts of Santana or my mom and neither were calming memories.

But in the end I turned my focus towards Santana. She was my current problem I guess you could say.

I had to get her to talk to me. Tonight hadn't been the night. We had just arrived and we all needed some food and sleep.

Plus, I figured another night to think about what she wanted couldn't hurt.

As I lay there looking out my window, thinking, I heard the familiar click of my door being opened.

I didn't turn around. I just continued to lay there on my side. If it was her she was going to have to show me that she wanted this.

I heard her footsteps move toward my bed and my heart raced as I felt her weight press down on the bed behind me.

I felt her move closer and closer and then she was pressed up close behind me. She slipped her arm down around my waist. Her other arm lay above my head as she played with my hair.

I wasn't sure if I should say anything. I mean she just crawled into my bed. One part of me wants to know what is going on in her mind the other is freaking out because this is actually happening.

I waited for her to say something but she never did.

I didn't either.

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Nothing special **I'm glad you liked it! **

P4tr1c14

Lileyfan1415 **Hope you liked what happened!**

TheOne **there you go what did you think?**

Andel-of-love-Devil-of-desire **Thank you so much for you what you said and I hope you continue to like the story! **


	21. I watched her take in what I'd said and

**Hope you all like! And a lot quicker than last time **

I expected to wake up and find out she'd slipped away in the night.

I was happily surprised when I opened my eyes and could still feel her body beside me.

I couldn't decide if I wanted to turn around and look at her or just enjoy this.

"Brittany?"

She must have noticed I'd awoken so I twisted around and looked her in the face.

"Morning," I said and stopped. I wanted her to talk for once.

"Hi," she said and then waited. I stayed quiet and she continued on eventually, "I'm sorry about…about everything." She paused.

"I don't know what to do." She said so calmly I could feel the heartbreak in her voice.

"I want to be with you but my dad…" she reached down and grabbed my hand, linking our fingers together. "He would never allow it."

"All he has right now are his suspicions. If he knew how I really felt about you I don't know what he'd do. I know he would make me leave Dalton…"

Hearing those words was like a punch in the stomach. The thought of her leaving Dalton was devastating. I reached out and pulled her into me. I just held on. I felt so much pain, frustration, and heartache that I just needed to be silent.

She pulled back from me slowly. My heart quickened as she trailed her nose along my cheek up to meet my mouth. She just hung there with the small space in-between us and stared.

She moved her hand up to my face and cupped my cheek. "I feel so crazy when I'm with you…sometimes you'll be sitting so close and its takes all there is inside me not to learn over and kiss you. I know I freaked out when I realized I was falling for you. I hope you can forgive that... I don't know what we should do about my dad but I know that I can't pretend to ignore you anymore."

I smiled up at Santana and felt all the things I wanted to say coming up to the surface. "I forgive you."

She put up her hand to stop me, "How can you forgive me so fast? I know I was horrible to you. I cut you off and made you think I didn't feel the same when I did…"

"I forgive you." I stated simply. "Truth is I forgave you for everything the second you crawled into this bed last night." I hesitated on my next words but I decided to hell with it. We are finally being honest and I need her to know how I really feel. "I love you." 

Instead of looking away for fear of rejection, I watched her take in what I'd said and then, "I love you too."

She leaned in and kissed me, it was soft and intense. We went slowly, I knew we both needed to take our time and enjoy being together, finally.

I was so nervous and excited, my heart was racing.

"Brittany you're shaking…are you okay?" Santana pulled away. She propped herself up on her elbow and looked down at me.

"I'm…fine." I stuttered out.

I realized what she was saying was true. My whole body was shaking. Every inch of me felt like it was on fire.

"No you're not you are shaking,"

I laughed a little and she frowned. "I'm just excited. I love you and it's been killing me not to be with you. I'm so happy and overwhelmed. It feels like I'm getting everything I ever wanted…so there is nothing wrong. I'm just happy."

She grinned, "I'm happy too."

I laughed, "Also, the shaking thing might have something to do with how amazing it is making out with my hot roommate." I joked with a smirk.

"Oh reaalllly?"

"Maybe," I shrugged.

She leaned in and kissed me again and I felt my nerves settle.

"So what happens when we get back to school?" I asked her.

She frowned. "I wish I could be out with you, like Rachel and Quinn are but I just can't. My dad is just…well you know."

"I wanna be with you."

Her eyes lit up,"What if we don't tell him? I mean I barely see him as it is. He is always in and out… what am I saying! That's not fair to you at all." I watched her sigh as she tried to think of something else.

Hiding it from her dad wasn't ideal, but I wanted to be with her so much I would try anything.

"Let's not tell him…We can just keep it private. I mean like you said he is barely around anyway. I want this to work. I want to trying being with you and if that means having to hide this for awhile then I'm okay with that."

"Are you sure?" Santana asked.

"Yes I'm sure." I leaned in and gave her another kiss. "Do we tell our friends?" Our friends are a big part of our life. I wanted to at least be able to be ourselves around them.

"I'm not sure. Do you think we should?"

"Honestly, they already know."

Her eyebrows scrunched up and she frowned, "What do you mean they know?"

"Well they know about me. They know about how I feel about you."

"They do huh?" she smiled.

"Yeah, probably sick of me talking about you actually."

"You talk about me?"

"Maybe a little" I laughed and she leaned down to kiss me.

I pulled her into me and kissed her deep and hard. I felt all the heartache of what I thought would never be leaving my body.

I used my arms and legs to flip her over so she lay beneath me. "I love you Santana."

"I love you too Brittany."

I leaned down and met her waiting lips. I couldn't keep my hands from running up and down her body. I felt a rush when our shirts rode up and her bare skin touched mine.

"Hey Brittany do you wanna go out to breakfast this morn…" my head whipped toward the door and I saw Quinn's eyes wide with shock. Realizing what she'd walked in on she immediately slammed the door shut.

I looked down at Santana; she tried to suppress her smile but failed and began to laugh.

"REALLY!? AGAIN!?" Quinn yelled from beyond the door.

"Oh my god!" I whispered to Santana quietly, followed but another round of giggling from the brunette beneath me.

"WE'LL WAIT FOR YOU GUYS DOWNSTAIRS OKAY!?"

"Okay!" I yelled and buried my face in Santana's hair. We listened to her footsteps retreat and continue down the stairs.

"I can't believe that happened again." Santana laughed from below me.

"Well at least this time I didn't end up on the floor." I teased and she playfully shoved me off her.

"Come on they'll be expecting us!" Santana walked away from the bed and paused by the door, "Get ready! I love you…" She smiled, blew me and kiss, and walked out the door.

Half an hour later I stood at the top of the stairs waiting for Santana to come out of the bathroom.

I shivered and pulled my sweater tighter around me. The weather was cooling way down lately and soon it would start to snow. I made a note to grab another jacket if we went out.

I looked out the window and watched the wind batting around the trees deposited leaves. I remember being out in that yard for hours lying in the sun with my mom. We would drink sun tea and play cards.

I could hear my friends in the living room below talking and laughing, waiting for Santana and me to come down.

"I'm done! I'm coming, I'm coming." Santana stepped out of the bathroom and I was stunned. Her hair fell down over her shoulders in light waves. She wore a tight dark purple sweater and dark jeans with black boots. She looked sexy. I just wanted to wrap my arms around her and never leave my room.

"Brittany…" Her eyes came up to meet mine. Her grin faded and I saw my want mirrored in her eyes.

She walked toward me and right into my arms. My mouth met hers and she pushed me backward and pinned me against the wall. Santana rested her palms against the wall on either side of me. She leaned in and let her lips brush my ear, "I really wish we were the only ones in this house right now…" My whole body shuddered.

Her firm hands moved to my waist and up my back pulling me closer. "You are so sexy" I gasped and leaned in quickly capturing her lips. I felt her hot breath on my mouth as our lips parted and our breathing began to quicken.

I heard another laugh come from downstairs and I pulled away. "They're waiting for us." I reminded her.

"Oh right," she chuckled.

I stood there with Santana in my arms. I didn't want to let go. "I love this…" I groaned and kissed her again.

She kissed me back for a few moments and then pushed me away. "You're right they're waiting for us." She said and turned towards the stairs.

I watched as she went down the first few steps. I took a few deep breaths and tried to calm down enough to follow when she stopped and turned, "Don't worry! We have all night." She winked, gave me a smirk and continued down the stairs.

"I'm not going to be able to think of anything else now!" I called quietly after her and heard her laugh before she disappeared into the other room.

"This girl is going to kill me…" I said aloud to myself. I shook my head and walked down the rest of the stairs.

When I walked into the living room I saw my friends all sitting around the room laughing.

"Hey Brittany, about time!" Mercedes groaned, "I'm starving!"

"We wanted to go out to breakfast are you okay with that?" Rachel asked from her seat beside Quinn.

"Yeah sounds good." I agreed and my eyes involuntarily sweep the room till they find Santana. She caught my gaze and stared back at me, "There's a great breakfast place less than a mile away. How about we go there?" I said breaking my eyes away from Santana.

"Great! Perfect! Let's Go!" Mercedes jumped up and practically ran to the door. We all laughed and followed her quickly to the cars.

Twinklepanda2 **Definitely yay for Santana slipping in! I hope this chapter lived up to some of your hopes! Haha more soon**

The One98 ** I will not give up on this story! I promise! I will finish it! And of course they are endgame.. duh lol ;) hope you liked the heart to heart lol**

MJ **I'm happy that my fanfic could lead to you watching the show! Its really great! Thanks for reading! **

Lileyfan1415 **There you go! What happens next well you'll have to find out! **** its more goodness though haha**

Z87da **ya things are tough for her but as least she has Santana! Its amazing how much loving can heal someone**

PoseidonIsABeast **It was updated soon! Lol and I hope you liked the Brittana! **

Suenicorn **I so glad you like it so much! I'm happy to help entertain you with some lovely Brittana! I cant believe you read them all in 2 hours! Lol I have done that before so I know how into a story you have to be to do that some that makes me really happy! I hope you like the new chapter.**


	22. A little bit sweeter

**Here you are! Hope you like it ;)**

"Right this way please." The pretty middle-aged waitress said with a smile, guiding our group toward the back of the restaurant.

"Here we are" the woman set out the menus in front of us as we all slid into the booth, myself hanging back so I could slip in last next to Santana. "I'll be your waitress today, my name is Carol, can I get you girls something to drink?" she asked flipping open her small booklet, pen in hand. "We have Coke, Diet Coke, Orange Juice, Cranberry juice, tea, coffee, hot chocolate…"

"I'd like a hot chocolate…"

"Oh! Me too! Yumm…" Mercedes squealed rubbing her hands together.

I glanced over at Santana as the others ordered their drink of choice; I caught her staring at me with a slight smirk evident on her face. "What!?"

"Hot chocolate… you are so cute" She laughed, more to herself then anyone else, before looking to the waitress and ordering a cup for herself.

"I'll be right back with those drinks, let me know if you have any questions about the menu…" the waitress said politely and left, disappearing into the kitchen.

"I'm going to have pancakes!" Quinn announced, licking her lips and closing her menu.

"Which out of these two do you recommend?" Santana asked me, placing her menu up on the table.

"Humm let's see…" I grabbed the other side of the menu and leaned forward to get a better look at small writing. "Which ones you looking at…?"

Santana bent forward and delicately placed her finger on one item, "I was thinking either the home-style plate with house potatoes or…"

She placed her finger on another dish and titled her head toward me. I felt a shock in my whole body as her soft lips grazed my ear. "Or maybe the waffles…" she offered, dropping her voice down to a whisper, "I don't know…I think in the mood for something a little bit sweeter."

My mouth dropped open and I sighed, melting into the seat. I looked up to see if any of my friends had noticed our little exchange and found that Santana's cleverly placed menu hid both of us from their view.

"You're killing me…" I gasped, resting my forehead against hers.

Santana chuckled, pecking me on the lips, before leaning away and collapsing the menu in front of us.

"I think I'll get the strawberry waffles." She said to the group with wide smile. "Rachel, would you mind ordering for me I have to use the restroom…"

"No problem!" she chimed from beside Quinn.

I slid out of the booth to let Santana past, her hand briefly grazing mine. "Can you show me where the bathroom is?" she asked the picture of innocence.

"Umm yeah sure…." I cast a quick glance at our group. "I'll be right back."

I led the way across the restaurant and up the back stairs toward the bathroom. The bathrooms were situated outside a small sitting area that was, at the moment, empty.

"It's right there." I said taking a seat on the small couch.

She stood in front of me, placing her hands to her hips. "Did you really think I needed to use the restroom?" She asked a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

"Please, you're not that subtle."

She shook her head, her lips twisting up into a grin.

She came toward me, kneeling down on top of me, draping her arms around my neck. "I just don't think the waffles are gonna cut it…I'm far too hungry."

Before I could comment on anything her lips were pressed hard against mine. "I love you Brittany" she sighed.

I'd said this girl would kill me and right now I feared I may have been right. My heart began to race and our breathing became heavy. Her hands slid down my back and confidently dipped below my pant line. "I don't know how I'm going to survive today…" Santana commented moving her lips down my neck.

"HOW YOU'RE GOING TO SURVIVE?"

"Shhhhh!" Santana laughed kissing my lips to keep me quiet.

"Sorry" I chuckled, "But really!? Do you have any idea what you do to me?"

"Well I was hoping to do some naughty things but all this talking is getting in the way…."

Her statement and that adorable half smile she does had me floundering. "You see! It's that! You think YOU aren't going to make it through the day? How am I supposed to focus on anything else when my girlfriend won't stop trying to seduce me? Huh…?"

Her eyebrows lifted and the smirk was replaced with a smile, "Girlfriend?"

My cheeks flushed, "Uhhh yeah… I mean… I just figured…"

Santana leaned down and gave me a hard kiss. "Brittany! Brittany! Stop…I would love to be you're girlfriend."

"Yeah?"

"Yes" She assured me. "I love you."

"I love you too."

I stared up into my girlfriends eyes, feeling so secure and safe. Right now I felt happier than I had in months. "I think we better get back to the table before they notice we're gone."

Santana climbed off of me and offered her hand. "Trust me, they've noticed."

She pulled me up and into her arms. She kissed me again and linked out hands together. "Let's go."

I let her guide me down the stairs. I was very aware that I was in my hometown, in a diner where people knew me, holding hands with my girlfriend; but I didn't care!

I was done hiding and being ashamed of whom I loved. I knew I would have to keep us a secret when we went back to school, but not here.

So with a huge grin I couldn't seem to wipe off my face, I followed Santana back to our friends.

"Long time no see…" Quinn said as we sat down.

"Long line…" Santana explained giving me a wink.

"Uhhuh surrreeeee." Mercedes waved her finger in the air, "Don't think we didn't notice that little hand holding action…"

"Now, Mercedes," Quinn looked to her with a serious face, "I'm almost certain we missed all the action…didn't we Brittany?"

Quinn propped her elbows up on the table cradling her chin. Her eyes slid back and forth from me to Santana, wide and questioning. She was enjoying this.

I looked down as I began to blush. "Ummm" I muttered fiddling with my fingers.

Santana grabbed hold of my hand underneath the table, linking our fingers together again, "I don't know Quinn, you've definitely gotten an eyeful..." Santana teased.

I rubbed my thumb along the outside of her hand and saw her smile as she acknowledged my touch.

"But just too clear things up," she began, her voice taking on a serious tone. She took a moment to look into the eyes of each of our friends before continuing. "Brittany and I are together now…"

As the words left her mouth I realized that, while before her hand gripped mine with a reassuring and steady strength, she was now trembling beside me. I looked at my girlfriends face and saw fear in her features. Her eyes were tight and guarded as she assessed our friend's reactions.

It dawned on me that despite all the reassurance by me she was still scared of how they would take this. She wasn't just telling them about me, us. Santana was admitting to something she'd fought to keep buried for years. No matter if it's the first time or the twentieth, exposing yourself to people who you care about is hard.

I squeezed her hand and pulled it into my lap.

Santana glanced at me quickly and then back at our friends, "So you can all quit playing matchmaker okay!" she said shoving away any fear. "I know the only reason this weekend happened was to get Brittany and I talking and I want you to know you can stop now…because your evil plan worked."

She looked back at me, placing a delicate kiss on my cheek. "And thank you."

I continued to stare at Santana as she took in our friends reactions.

"About damn time" Mercedes said with a huff.

"Seriously, I mean they've been staring at each other with "fuck me" eyes for months now." Tina added.

My mouth dropped open, "Tina!"

"Try being the one who has the misfortune of walking in on them all the time…" Quinn interrupted.

"You know, I don't feel the least bit sorry for you Quinn." Rachel stated, earning a disbelieving look from her girlfriend. "What!? If you insist on walking into other peoples rooms without knocking at some point you're gonna see some sex."

Santana threw back her head in laughter. "Oh! Score one for Berry!"

Rachel laughed along with the rest of us despite the glare from Quinn. "Oh don't worry baby I'm only teasing" Rachel pulled her girlfriend toward her landing a kiss on her pouting lips.

"Anyway," Mercedes said looking away from the couple. "All joking aside, I think it's great you guys are finally talking. I saw how hard it was for both of you to stay apart. I want you to know I'll keep my mouth shut…and I'm here if you need anything."

I watched as the rest of my friends nodded their agreement.

"Thank you." I whispered.

I was a bit in awe. I'd come to this school broken. But these girls, they took me into their circle. I now had a great group of friends and I'd fallen in love with a beautiful girl. Sure, things weren't perfect but I was healing.

"Yes, thank you." Santana agreed.

Our food was delivered a few minutes later and the whole table turned to silence as we ate.

"You were right about this restaurant Brittany!" Mercedes said stuffing another forkful of syrupy covered potatoes into her mouth. "Soooo gooood!"

"How're the waffles?" I asked Santana.

She peered up at me from her plate and I fought back a laugh. She frowned, "What?"

I reached out, wiping away the sugary cream that clung to her chin. "Now who's the cute one?"

"Still you baby, still you." She grinned.

Santana leaned in, this time, not bothering to hide our private conversation. "I was right about these waffles by the way…definitely not sweet enough."

I felt my eyes involuntarily widen at her comment. "Dead." I stated frankly.

She laughed, pulling away, gazing at me with those wild eyes. "Later." she said before resuming her earlier conversation with Quinn about Glee Club.

I turned to my plate, trying to think of anything else but "later".

"So, next week is when we all are supposed to perform a song that makes us feel "at home". With all the holidays this time of year it's nice to be reminded of the people we love and how grateful we are to be alive…"

I listed to Rachel as she rattled off the same speech she'd given last week; when she'd come up with the idea. We were all supposed to choose one song but, I admit, I'd been slacking.

"I've narrowed it down to my top three." Mercedes told Rachel, "Have you picked a song yet, Quinn?"

Rachel, not even bothering to look over at her girlfriend, crossed her arms and fixed a stern look on her face.

"No" Quinn said nudging Rachel in the side. "Rachel is a little upset at me for putting it off."

"I don't care." Rachel tried to lie unsuccessfully.

"Ha okay whatever babe." Quinn said throwing her arm around the brunette's shoulder and pulling her close. She resisted for only a moment before leaning back and pecking her girlfriend on the lips.

I watched them and smiled. I remember when I first met them, I was so jealous of their happiness. Now, I had my own.

I still couldn't believe it.

We paid the waitress and slid out of the booth to leave.

I reached out, grabbing Santana's hand and placing a kiss on her cheek. "Love you"

She clung onto my arm with both hand, snuggling into my side, as we walked out into the parking lot.

"I'm so full!" Tina yelled rubbing her belly and flopping back against the car.

"Uh! Me too!" Mercedes groaned standing beside Tina with a frown on her face.

"Meet you back at the house?" Quinn said unlocking her car door with a loud beep.

"Ya see you there" Mercedes said falling into her car's front seat.

I sat with Santana in the back of Quinn's car. The couple in the front turned the music on and we headed back to my house.

Santana nuzzled into my side, wrapping her arm around my waist. She let out a small sigh, "I'm stuffed."

"Ya well you at that whole plate of waffles" I whispered into her ear."

"It had whip cream and strawberries on it! You can't waste food." She reasoned.

"You're right love, you're always right."

She nodded her head, "You better not ever forget it."

We laughed together and then she became quiet once more. I noticed as we pulled into the driveway of the house her breathing had slowed, she'd fallen asleep.

**Thanks everyone for waiting so long and for continuing to read! You are all wonderful and thank you so much for all you're kind words! Don't worry! I will finish this story!**


	23. No one else better, ever

**Thank you all for being so patient! I hope you like this chapter ;) it's was a pleasure to write.**

We left the restaurant with full stomachs, a few of us groaning.

"I ate too much." Quinn whined from beside Rachel.

Rachel was driving; I sat beside Santana in the backseat, I wrapped my arms around her arm, snuggling into her side and placing my head on her shoulder.

Her soft lips pressed down on my forehead and her rich voice whispered, "I love you, Brittany."

I smiled and thought – I will never need anything else but her.

We pulled up to my old house, Mercedes and Tina pulling up behind us.

Quinn groaned, and looked over at Rachel with pouty lips, "Why do our teachers think we learn more by having more homework?" Quinn looked back and Santana and I, eyebrows raised, waiting for us to answer.

"I don't know." I said, hopelessly. I agreed with her. I had two papers to finish and worksheet for French. I also had to study for a quiz in Math on Monday.

Everyone has a work load like mine, so instead of enjoying our weekend away from school, we all had to spend it indoors doing homework.

"I mean, I'd be more than happy to do homework if there wasn't so much of it. I would want to learn. But they think it they pile it on…" Quinn said, continuing on as we exited the car.

I, however, tuned out Quinn's rant the second Santana wrapped her arm around my waist and her hand slid into my back pocket.

"Come on girls!" Mercedes yelled from the top steps. "I wanna get this over with!"

Two hours later we were all still hard at it. We'd spread out around the living room floor, "Mercedes, that's not right." Rachel said, Mercedes math homework clutched in her hand.

I looked over at Quinn who sat to my left; Santana lay close on my right, making flash cards for History. "I'm tired." I said to Quinn, my eyes beginning to droop.

She leaned her head back, stifling a yawn. "Me too," she tossed the paper she'd been staring at for the past few minutes aside. "I'm over homework."

Tina who was sitting beside Quinn sighed, "I vote we take a break." She flipped her book shut, catching the attention of Rachel.

"You guys want to take a break already?" Rachel looked up at the clock on the wall, "It's only been two hours…"

"Come on babe, not all of us like studying as much as you." Quinn put of her pouting face and stared down a frowning Rachel.

"I could use a break too, Rachel" Mercedes said, putting her math book down.

Rachel looked like she wanted to say something but instead just shrugged her shoulders, "Fine."

Tina immediately stood up at Rachel's okay, "I'm hungry," she said, and wandered off toward the kitchen.

I looked at Santana and wondered what she was thinking, "I think I'm going to go take a nap."

I faked a yawn and glanced once more at Santana before heading up the stairs to my bedroom, hoping she'd get the hint.

I felt a burst of nervousness as I headed to my room; I couldn't tell if I was afraid or excited.

I walked in and shut the door. The room was dim, the shades dropped almost to the floor. A small beam of light crept through the bottom though, covering the wooden floor in a golden glow.

I leaned against the door, waiting for Santana's footsteps to come up the stairs.

After a few minutes I began to worry I hadn't been clear enough. I had yawned a lot, maybe she thought I was really tired and wanted to let me sleep.

I heard a thud, followed by a pair of voices coming up the stairs. "You okay?" came Quinn's voice from down the stairs.

"Yeah," the second voice said, obviously Rachel. "I just hit my toe."

They continued up the stair, mumbling about homework. I sighed and waited for them to pass my door.

A few minutes after they'd entered their bedroom I heard someone else coming up the stairs.

"Brittany it's me…" Santana said quietly beyond my door.

I opened the door quickly and grinned, "What took you so long?"

Santana laughed and stepped inside my room. She leaned in and kissed me quickly, squeezing my hips in her hands, "Didn't want them thinking I was just gonna come up here and take advantage of you."

Her cheeky grin had me faltering, "You are so sexy"

"I have a pretty sexy girlfriend myself." she said, her face losing all signs of joking.

She came toward me and wrapped her arms around my neck, locking me in a kiss. Her tongue wrapped around mine and she moaned pulling me towards her.

Santana fell back against the door and our lips broke apart, "I want you so bad." She said, reaching down and peeling off her thin shirt.

I took a moment to start are her bare stomach and chest, the lacy black bra she wore not doing much to obscure my imagination.

"Could you help me out with this?" Santana said, turning around. She pulled her long black hair over her shoulder to reveal her nearly bare back.

I ran my fingers up her back till I reached the clasp and unhooked it quickly. The straps fell loosely down her shoulders and she shrugged off the bra.

She turned around; my eyes widened, and I stepped forward to wrap my arms around her waist. "You are so beautiful."

She grinned, and tilted her head upward, kissing me underneath the chin.

I shuddered, "My god, Santana!"

"I think we need to take off these clothes." Santana said, and without pause, reached down and pulled my shirt up over my head. Her warm hands slid up my back and unclasped my bra.

Her eyes wandered around my naked chest, "Wow, I can't believe I waited this long," she said, pausing to undo the button on my pants. "I fought my feelings for you for so long…" she looked up into my eyes, "I don't care anymore what anyone thinks. I know what it means when you feel this way about someone."

Her confession focused me a little and I leaned in to kiss her waiting lips. "I know, okay, it's all okay."

She kissed me and I couldn't pull away. Her arms wrapped around my neck, pressing out bare breasts together. The feeling of her skin pressed against mine pushed all thoughts from my mind – except one. I pulled away from her kiss and found her frowning up at me.

I chuckled, stepping out of her arms. "I'm gonna lock the door."

I tip-toed around her and flicked the lock. "I'm not gonna have Quinn, or anyone else for that matter, walking in on us."

I spun around and found Santana standing close in front of me. "Good idea." She said, kissing me roughing.

She turned her attention back to my pants, pushing them down slowly, letting her hands slide down my legs.

I shivered as her fingers, having discarded my pants, linked around the lacy edges of my underwear. She kissed the skin around my navel, working her way down.

I felt the thin cloth fall down to my ankles, her wet mouth attacking my center.

I had to grab onto the dresser to keep myself steady. I bit down on my tough to suppress a moan, looking upward at the ceiling.

My right hand curled into a fist, "Oh my god." I said, as her tongue slipped inside me.

The pressure stopped suddenly and I looked down right as she pressed her mouth to mine again. "Babe…" Santana stopped kissing me – only long enough to utter one more sentence, "Let's go to bed." I nodded and let her lead me..

She noticed, probably around the same time I did, that she was still the only one wearing clothes.

Before she could reach for the button, I beat her to it. "Let me."

I grinned, and she placed her hands on her hips with a look that said, "I'm waiting!"

I wasted no time and unclasped her jeans, dropping the zipper. "Lie down." I forced her down onto the bed; taking hold of her pants and underwear, pulling them both off at the same time.

I approached her naked body and crawled on top of her. "So confident," Santana smirked from below me, pushing her hand through my hair.

Her hand wrapped around my hair, pulling me roughly down toward her. She kissed me hard and our breaths began to quicken. She surprised me, flipping me quickly onto my back. "Whoa!" I said, and laughed as she gave me an evil grin.

She shook her head, "You first."

Santana drew her leg up between mine, putting pressure against my center. Our encounter this morning had made me more than ready for this moment.

"I love you Brittany," Santana said. She laid her body across mine, latching onto my neck. She began to rock forward and backward in a set rhythm.

Her soft hair fell across my shoulders and chest, the spicy sent of her shampoo filling my lungs.

I gasped out an "I love you too" before I had to bury my face in her neck to keep from shouting –her fingers slipping inside me once again.

I dug my nails into her back as she flicked her fingers inside me. I couldn't stop, "Fuck!"

"Shhhh!" She said, covering my mouth with her hand.

She pushed farther inside me and the waves hit, hard. The bed had been a good idea, I knew, had I been standing, I would have fallen to the floor.

I gasped in a large breath and my body began to tremble. I stared up at Santana, who had unhooked herself from my neck and was now staring down at me.

The room became still. I looked up at her pleadingly, "Kiss me."

A flicker of surprise came across her face but she bent down anyway, pecking at my lips.

The calm I felt a second ago was replaced with fire in moments; her kisses leaving me as breathless as I was when she crawled into my bed the other night.

I rolled us around so she was now beneath me. I crawled down, Santana moaned out as I licked my way up her thigh, flicking my tongue against her swollen center.

She was so wet; I felt my want for her flare up even bigger.

"Brittany, don't stop!" Santana gazed down at me, biting her lip in anticipation. Her fingers clawed at the blanket, "Don't stop!"

I kissed her slowly, letting my tongue bring her closer and closer. The pleasure she was feeling was reaching me, I found my own breath rising with hers, and my body getting ready to release.

I worked my fingers into her, taking moments to lean forward and kiss her lips.

I felt her tighten around my fingers, "Oh my god!"

She pulled me back up to kiss her, our hips smacking together. I felt the pressure release from my body and I fell on top of Santana, laughing in ecstasy.

"Wow," Santana said, turning to her side so she could wrap her bare body around me.

Small beads of sweat lie across her forehead and between her breasts. I wiped the glistening drops from her head, placing a kiss there instead.

Santana smiled, reaching out and pushing my hair off my shoulder. "Looks like I made a mark…" She laughed, kissing the bruised area right below my collar bone.

"Good." She said, "Anyone who gets that far," her face turned stern, "no one else better, ever" she nodded resolutely, "but if they did, at least they'd know you have someone."

"No one else" I said simply and kissed her deeply.

She dug her head into the crook of my neck, "You tired me out, babe."

I rolled my eyes, "Go to sleep, we might as well take the nap we told everyone we were going to take."

Santana chuckled, "What?" I asked her.

"Yeah, I told them I was going to go jump your bones…" a moment of silence and she was cracking up laughing.

"You didn't!?" My mouth hung open.

"No, but it's not like they didn't know, or didn't hear…" she said, kissing my neck lightly.

I felt my desire for her come alive again. "If you keep doing that I won't be able to let you go to sleep…"

She peered up at me with raised eyebrows, "Oh you mean this?" She ducked down and kissed my neck again, right up under my jaw line.

"Yes, that." I moaned. My muscles tightened as her hand lightly crept its way down my stomach.

Santana pulled out of my embrace and propped herself up on top of me, "I have a feeling it's going to be a late night."


	24. Payback for this afternoon!

**And another!**

When we arrived back at Dalton for classes on Monday, not only was I not thrilled about having to start hiding my relationship with Santana, but there was a note slipped under my door from Miss Pillsbury informing me of our rescheduled council meeting for tonight after classes.

On the plus side, I was on a high from my weekend with Santana. I was feeling so much for her that it was difficult not to put my arms around her when we sat together at breakfast, or kiss her when she leaned close to whisper something in my ear.

Happily, her father seemed unaware she may have lied to him about this weekend. I still felt, however, like he was watching her and me; I'd seen him patrolling the halls more frequently than he used to.

I'd seen him twice already today, before classes even started and after French as I was headed to lunch.

I'd spent my lunch wishing Santana and I could be alone again, waiting to strike up the opportunity when I saw one.

We walked to study hall together and sat down in silence to do our work. I opened my History book and read a few pages until I found my mind drifting again to the activities of this weekend.

I couldn't concentrate on anything but the image of her naked body lying next to me the morning after we had sex for the first time.

I looked up from my half read history chapter, and watched Santana as she mumbled random numbers trying to figure out her set of math problems.

I grinned as the pen she'd been tapping to her lip left behind a few dots of ink above her lip.

I laughed and she looked up quickly from her work, "What?" she whispered across the table.

"You have ink on your lip" I said, and she worked quickly to clean it off.

The bell rang loudly, telling us it was time for fifth period.

I tossed the one book I had removed back into my bag. As walked around the table to stand by Santana I noticed the only person left in the room was the librarian, who was sitting behind the return books desk, reading a book and clearly not concerned with the two of us.

"Hey!" I whispered to Santana and stopped fiddling with her bag zipper to look up at me.

"What?"

I nodded toward the rows of bookcases. I realized this may be the opportunity I will get so I am not going to miss it. "Come with me." I said, noticing her unsure expression.

I reached for her hand and pulled her toward the stacks.

"Brittany, what if someone catches us!?" she said. Her excited laughter as I pulled her into one of the empty isles made my need for this moment increase.

"I looked; no one is in here except the librarian."

She peered around to double check, looking once more down the long isle we'd just come down.

She smiled and leaned into me, "Finally." she said before kissing me lightly. He lips moved around mine slowly, and I wrapped my arms around her. I exhaled in relief at having her with me again.

"We only have a few minutes before we have to go to class, but I couldn't go any longer without kissing you." I said against her lips, not wanting to move away.

"This is going to be hard isn't it?"

"Very hard" I said, and I leaned in to kiss her again.

Her arms traveled down my arms and waist. "I can't wait until this day is over and we can crawl up in bed together."

I stared into her deep brown eyes, "Don't make this day any harder!"

She laughed, and I felt her hands push down past my waist and slink up my skirt. "Santana!"

She ignored my yell, her hand moving up to massage the outside of my underwear.

My head instinctively rolled back, "Oh my god."

She kissed my neck once before moving her lips to my ear, "Sorry, couldn't help myself."

She pulled away and grabbed her bag from the floor, "We better get to class."

My eyes widened, "Wow, you are suck a tease!" I called after her as she waved, disappearing around the book shelf. "I'll get you back for that."

Classes ended not nearly soon enough. I walked out of gym feeling like the day had dragged on, and I still had to go talk to Miss Pillsbury.

I walked to her office and found her sitting in the same place as always. She stood up as she saw me, "Brittany! So nice to see you! How was your weekend?"

She came forward and pulled me into a hug, "Go on sit, sit"

I took a seat in the usual chair and answered her question, "Nice to see you too, and um, the weekend was good." I laughed inside at how pathetic the word "good" was when describing this weekend.

"I heard you went home, how was it going back?"

I thought about it, remember the feeling I had as I walked through the door that first day, "Yeah, it was weird, a little, being back. I felt my mom all over the house."

"That must be hard. Was your step dad there?"

"No," I said, not sure whether or not that was breaking some kind of rule. "But I had some friends with me. It was easier, with them around."

"It's always good having people around who know what you've been though."

I nodded. She peered at me with a concerned face, "Where these friends from your old school?"

"No, a few of my friends from Glee club came with me. Quinn, Rachel, Tina, Mercedes and…" I had been about to say Santana. This may not be her dad but it's another teacher and I don't want to take that risk, "and Mercedes."

She asked me more about my friends, classes, and even asked if I had any guys I was interested it.

"Ha, yeah, no not really…" I said, not able to contain a small snicker.

We talked for a little bit longer and then she let me go; after scheduling to meet with me again on Wednesday.

I rushed through the halls, ready to be alone with Santana. When I reached my room, I pushed open the door, eagerly looking for her face.

I saw her sitting on her bed, hands in her lap. "Been waiting for me?" I set my bag on my desk chair and went to lie beside Santana.

"Ha, maybe a little."

I lay down on my back beside her and she turned to her side, "I think that little stunt you pulled in the library worked on more than just me."

She leaned down and kissed me. "Umm, right again."

Her eyes gazed down at my lips.

"How was therapy?" She said, taking hold of a piece of my hair and ticking my cheek with it.

"It was fine." I said.

"Stop that you're tickling me!" I swatted away her hand, and she decided to instead climb on top of me.

She pinned my wrists to the bed, "What are you gonna do?"

I smiled in spite of myself, her body on top of my mine more than enough reason to play along.

She leaned down and I shivered as I felt her tongue run up along my neck to my ear. She nibbled on my ear lobe, her breathe tickling my skin, "Oh, I'm sorry, does that tickle?" she said, feigning innocence.

She leaned away with a smirk on her face. "You know it does."

She reached down and pushed her hand up underneath my skirt again. "What about now?" she said, working her way past my underwear.

All the muscles in my body seized, my legs snapping shut over her arm as she dug her fingers into me. "Fuck!"

With my hands now free I reached up, pulled her face down to mine, and captured her lips hungrily.

I slipped my tongue in with hers and she moaned, pressing farther into me.

She began to move on top of me, her rocking hips knocking her fingers deeper with each thrust.

Our eyes locked together and I watched as she grew closer to climax. I reached around and dipped my hand beneath Santana's own skirt, gripping her ass in my hands.

She moaned, "Fuck, Brittany!"

She sat up, her free hand beginning to fuss with the buttons on my blouse. "Uh!" She ripped the first few buttons out of their holes.

She leaned back down, kissing my chest. Her lips felt so soft on my skin, "I'll never get enough of you, Brittany."

She began to rock faster, sitting up once more.

I felt myself getting close, her fingers going at just the right speed.

Santana's hips hit mine and this time I felt myself release, her reaching climax at the same time.

Her body hunched over mine, exhausted. I felt the calm you always feel after orgasm and I bathed in it.

She crawled off of me, but stayed linked, wrapping her arm and leg around me.

She leaned in and kissed my cheek. "I love you, Brittany."

"I love you too."

It felt like hours we laid there. The room darkened and we continued to lay together, undisturbed.

I seemed to look at the clock at just the right moment, "Dinner started 5 minutes ago…" I said, not sure if I even wanted food. "You hungry?"

I felt her shrug in my arms, "Kinda."

"We should probably go then," I said, moving to stand up.

She pulled me back, "Maybe I don't need anything…"

As her arms tightened around me I heard her stomach grumble. "You are hungry, come on," I slid off the bed and grabbed hold of her hand, pulling her up to stand in front of me.

"Fine," she said. "But we gotta fix this tie."

She worked on the buttons first, straightening the tie and combing through my hair with her fingers. "Better?"

"Much," she said, putting her finger to her lip. "But, I think I liked it better when you didn't have anything on at all."

I raised my eyebrows, "Be careful, I may not let you get dinner."

She made a fake horrified look before going off to her mirror to check if she was presentable.

I went to the door, "You look beautiful."

She smiled, "Yeah, yeah, let's go!"

She walked to me, and instead of letting her out the door I backed her up against the wall. I pinned her there between my arms ignoring her attempts to stare me down.

"So. Fucking. Beautiful."I said, slowly pronouncing each word.

I kissed her quickly, deep and hard. I waited until I felt her entire body start to respond, then I pulled away. "Better get that dinner!"

I slipped out the door and heard her grunt in frustration.

I laughed, "Payback for this afternoon!"

**Thank you so much to all those who are reading! **

**Please go below and let me know what you think! Review! **

Castlewalls7** haha I love that song! And don't worry I got it all planned ;) **

Gleeforever123** Not what you wanted, but I hope it worked! Lol more soon!**

Dafuq33 **always lock the door! Lol**


	25. She makes me feel like I can live

**Sorry this took so long. I still have every intention of continuing this story. I hope you guys like this chapter! **

The chill of the morning awoke me from a dead sleep. Confusing images flashed across my eyes, however none of them stuck and any memories of last night's dreams disappeared.

The light from the coming morning was just creeping out behind the grey clouds. The crisp air drifted through the open window above my bed, causing goosebumps to pop up along my exposed arm. The other, tucked warmly underneath Santana's abdomen, had gone numb at some point during the night. I peered up at her face; her cheek smashed up against her shoulder and stifled a laugh.

Another shiver ran through my body, stirring Santana momentarily. She grumbled, flipping over on her side, giving me enough slack to pull my arm free.

I hopped up, shivering again as I exposed my entire body to the chill. The window made a quiet click as I pushed it shut, my warm fingers making rough silhouettes against the frosted covered glass.

I looked around the room Santana and I shared. My bed, with the covers neatly arranged and pillows piled perfectly below the headboard, looked like it hadn't been slept in for weeks. Of course looks do not deceive, I'd been sleeping in Santana's bed every night since we got back from my parents house.

I looked down at my sleeping girlfriend, my eyes instinctively turning toward the door, checking that the lock was securely twisted upward.

I'd told Santana I was okay hiding our relationship, and I still was, if that was the only way for us to be together right now. But I won't lie; part of me is getting so sick of lying. I hate having to look over my shoulder every time I want to kiss her.

Santana's heaved a huge sigh and flipped over once again, this time, taking over the entire bed with her stretched out form.

I smiled widely and shook my head. "I love you so much." I whispered.

Santana, of course, responded with another low murmer and pulled the covers up tightly around her, continuing along with her sleep as if I hadn't spoken.

Still feeling a chill, I pulled Santana's favorite sweater off the hook on the back of the door, throwing it around my shoulders. I pushed the fabric to my nose and breathed in the familiar scent. Someone told me once that scent is the strongest of all the five senses when trying to recall memory. This fact had been proven to me many times, and as I breathed in Santana's sweet smell, images of our first kiss, the first time we'd slept together, and the first time I realized I was falling in love with her, ran through my mind.

I realized there was no way I would be able to go back to sleep and Santana looked like she'd be unconscious for another couple hours at least.

Making up my mind, I pushed my arms through her sweater, closing the zipper and flipping up the hood. I tightened the hood around my ears and threw my heavy school jacket over the sweater. I pulled my boots out from under my bed and stuffed my sockless feet into the fur lined shoes.

Just in case Santana did wake while I was gone I wrote up a little note and left it by her bed. I kissed her cool cheek and snuck quietly out the door.

The halls were dark and eerie as I crept through them. I kept envisioning running into Santana's dad around every corner, but I made it to the front doors and out into the cold morning without any obstacles.

The cold air burned my nose as I walked quickly off school grounds and toward the cemetery.

I hadn't been to see my mom in a while, memories of my last visit hanging in the forefront of my mind, the grief I'd gone to her in.

I followed the iron fence until I reached the large domed gate. The gate was slightly ajar, and I only needed to nudge it open a few more inches to allow myself to slip through.

I kept my eyes to the ground as I worked my way past what felt like hundreds of gravestones, back to the one familiar marker.

"Hi, Mom."

I kneeled down and looked at her name carefully etched into the stone, each letter as gracefully placed as the next one. The standard inscription placed below, praising her for being a wonderful daughter, mother, and wife. Then below that, her date of birth followed by the date of her death.

I felt a twinge of pain tighten around my heart, "It's going to snow soon, Mom. Remember how much you loved the snow?"

"You loved it so much that even when you couldn't stand to be out in the cold any longer, you'd have me sit with you by the window and we'd sip hot chocolate, watching as our footprints disappeared beneath the fresh snow."

"I miss you more with everything that I do, with every accomplishment I can't share with you."

My cold cheeks burned as the salty liquid fell down my cheeks. "This wasn't what I wanted to talk about…"

Through my tears I found a smile as I thought of Santana sleeping peacefully in our shared bed back at the school. "That girl I mentioned last time I was here, Santana, I still can't really believe it but I wanted you to know that she loves me too, Mom."

"She's perfect. I've never met anyone who fit me better than she does. She makes me feel things I didn't know I wanted, does things I didn't know I needed."

The wind kicked up some dead leaves, blowing them across the ground in front of me. I snatched one up, twirling the stem around in my fingers.

"I wish you could have met her."

I looked down at the leaf in my hand, yellow at the tip, fading to red as it reached the stem. The leaf was the shape of a heart, but it was as if the heart was being squeezed together from both sides, slowly bleeding the life out of something that was once so alive.

I looked around and saw the barren tree it must have came from a few feet away. Vague memories of the tree on the day we buried my mother came into my mind. Then it had been covered in bright green leaves, something so healthy now dead and bare.

I threw away the crumbling leaf and wiped the tears from my face.

"I know I'll never get over losing you, but she makes me feel like I can live with it. After all, there's nothing else I can do, can I?"

I buried my forehead in my palm. "Well, I better get back, Mom."

I stood, stuffing my freezing hands into the sanctity of my jacket pockets. "I love you. I'll be back soon."

* * *

><p>I tried to sneak back into my room, but Santana sat upright in the bed, one ear bud in, the other hanging off her shoulder.<p>

When she saw me enter she took off the headphones and tossed them on the table beside her. "Come here, Babe."

Her eyebrows were scrunched, and I could see the worry set beneath her smile.

"I'm okay, really…"

She pursued her lips, tilting her head slightly. I could tell she didn't believe me.

Instead of saying anything more, she got out of the bed and came over to me. She silently unbuttoned my jacket, slipping it off my shoulders and letting it fall to the floor.

Santana's warm hands linked through mine, and she led me over to the bed. She pulled me down next to her, taking my boots and throwing them aside, covering the two of us with the warm blanket.

She wrapped her arms around me, and I felt her lips press against the top of my head, "Talk to me."

I buried my face into her shoulder, trying to keep the sadness that overwhelmed me at the cemetery from following me into this room.

"I just needed to tell her something."

"Oh…?"

Santana's fingers ran up and down my arm; a practice which, I'd come to learn, meant she was nervous about something – her equivalent to pacing.

"I needed her to know about you. I needed her to know that I'd found you."

"Oh…" this time I could feel her unease turn into a smile.

I looked up at her and smiled, unable to help a few tears from falling. "She would have loved you."

She used her thumb to push away my tears, "I love you." She whispered, and leaned down to meet my lips.

I felt a rush of energy as she kissed me.

I let the sadness float into the background of my mind as I shrouded myself in her comfort and warmth.

* * *

><p>I was unaware of how long we laid there together, but eventually I fell back asleep.<p>

Sometime later I was awoken by a knock on the door or our bedroom.

I noticed Santana stirring at the sound beside me. Her sleepy eyes looked towards the door in confusion. "What time is it?" She asked turning her head back into the pillow.

I grabbed for my phone, "It's just past 10am."

Another knock.

"Santana!? Brittany!?" this time the knock was followed by a familiar voice yelling our names.

"Ugh," I fell out of bed and flicked the lock open, turning immediately to get back into bed.

"About time!" Rachel said, bursting in the second the door was unlocked.

"Sorry Rachel, we were sleeping." Santana said, with a bit of annoyance. "You know, what most teenagers are doing at this time on a Saturday."

"Sorry, but I told the guys we'd meet them at noon."

"Who's we?" I said, "And what guys?"

"Kurt and Blaine! They called me last night and purposed we grab lunch followed by some early Christmas shopping!"

Santana grumbled and flipped the comforter over her head.

"I have to pick up Quinn's gift and I still haven't figured out what to buy my dad's. Kurt and Blaine said they'd help, plus we haven't seen the two of them in awhile."

Another loud grumble came from underneath the blanket.

"They're really looking forward to seeing you two. You know the new happy couple."

The blanket flipped up again, and Santana's frustrated face appeared, "Fine, we'll come. We'll meet you downstairs at 11:45..? Okay?"

Rachel beamed, "Okay! See you in a little!"

Having got what she wanted, Rachel made a quick exit. I found myself laughing at how well she knew Santana.

"You got guilt tripped, babe. You got guilt tripped bad."

She swatted my arm, "Shut up."

"What?" I shrugged my shoulders, "You're just mad cause now I know how easy you are…"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" Santana said, tossing the comforter off her completely and getting out of bed.

"It's okay, babe. I'll make sure no one takes advantage of you ever again."

Santana turned her back to me, removing her shirt and exposing her bare back. "You gonna keep talking?" She said, pushing off her sweats and leaving herself naked before me. She ignored my dropped jaw, grabbing her towel off the back of the desk chair and wrapping it around her body. "Or are you coming?"

She walked out the door without another word.

**I hope you all enjoyed this. Next one coming soon!**

**Please review and let me know what you think.**

**Also, to every fan of Glee whose heart was broken by the news of Cory's passing, you aren't alone. People don't get how we can mourn someone we never met, but just because we never met him, doesn't mean that we didn't know him. RIP Cory Monteith, you were the best kind of person. **


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